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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Baptism (S02E02)

"- No, I need a... - Just forget it."
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"You know what? Just forget it. We're already here at the airport."
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"That's something new, Larry."
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"Larry, we've been down this aisle."
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"I wonder if he brought a date."
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"- What the hell is he doing? - Nothing."
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"Make a call, have a cup of coffee."
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"That's fine."
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"Trade places, you can do it over here. I'm trying to get catch a plane, sir."
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"Get here earlier. It's not my fault."
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"- Thanks for the tip. - She's leaving."
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"Good, okay."
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"If the lot's full, why do they even let you go in?"
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"God, look at that line."
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"- What do you wanna do? - We don't have time to stand in line."
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"- We just can't cut right in front. - This is an exception."
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"- Go to the front? - Yeah."
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"- Excuse me, we're in line. - Somebody took our tickets."
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"We've lost our tickets."
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"I'd be happy to help you if you step to the back of the line."
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"We really don't have time. I was actually on the phone-"
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"Everybody here has been waiting, okay?"
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"I will take care of you when it's your turn, okay? Thank you."
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"Is the plane filled up?"
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"Sir, please get to the back of the line right now, thank you."
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"I'm so sorry about that. All right, where were we?"
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"I got the guy. That's the guy."
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"- What? - I got the guy."
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"Okay, you can give me the ticket."
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"- I want the ticket. - I don't know what you're talking about."
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"You memorized the building code, entered the office."
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"I want the ticket. I gotta get on the plane."
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"- You got me confused with somebody else. - I don't think so."
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"I don't have your ticket."
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"Of course you do."
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"It's a bereavement thing, my mother's death."
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"Right, okay, yeah. I'd like to take a look at it, okay?"
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"Yeah, I do."
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"You wanna see? Let's take a look, all right?"
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"Is it your name? No, it's mine. "Chris Darga.""
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"See, if this were yours, it would say "Fucking Douchebag.""
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"Asshole."
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"Sorry about your mother."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, AirWest flight 1459 to Monterey, California..."
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"Once again for all AirWest passengers, flight 1459 to Monterey..."
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"we are boarding rows 16 through 30."
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"I know what you did."
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"- You talking to me? - Yeah."
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"- The ticket. - What ticket?"
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"The ticket right here, to Monterey."
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"- I know, come on. - I think you got the wrong guy."
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"Give me the ticket back, I won't say anything-"
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"Come on, the ticket."
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"Go fuck yourself."
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"Okay."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, AirWest flight 1459 to Monterey..."
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"is now boarding rows one through 15."
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"- What are you doing? - I was looking for the guy."
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"Did you look at these people? Did you see anything?"
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"I don't know who you're looking for, Larry."
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"Final boarding call for flight 1459, non-stop to Monterey."
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"Will all remaining passengers please board?"
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"so just take it easy and we'll call you when we're ready. Thanks."
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"Somebody stole our tickets, they're on the plane."
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"I don't have a single ticket. I'm completely sold out. I'm sorry."
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"We already have tickets."
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"The point is, somebody is in our seats, see?"
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"- I don't think that's- - No, that's very possible-"
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"Actually, the door is closed."
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"That means I am not legally allowed to go back on the plane."
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"I can get you on another flight-"
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"- We have tickets for that flight. - Can I see the tickets, please?"
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"- We don't have them. - They were stolen."
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"I can't go on the plane, my hands are tied."
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"which will get you in at 4:00."
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"That would not be good, actually."
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"We would miss the baptism, we would miss-"
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"I'm sorry."
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"We're trying to go to a wedding, and we need to be there in a few hours-"
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"I have an idea, I think I can actually... Maybe this will work."
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"but I can send you through San Francisco. 10:30, it would get you into San Francisco."
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"It's only an hour flight."
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"You can rent a car to Monterey. It's about 100 miles."
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"Then we wouldn't miss the baptism."
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"- Exactly. - That's fine."
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"I need a credit card and I'll get this all rolling for you."
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"Larry, give her your credit card."
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"- You got the cell phone? - Yeah."
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"- That is so ridiculous. - Why is it ridiculous?"
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"That is such a funny message."
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"How did you ever come up with something like that?"
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"- So, just hold on. - No, I don't wanna do that."
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"I don't want to do it, Larry. I don't feel like doing that right now."
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"She'll talk to you in person."
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"She wants to discuss this in person."
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"Flight 627 to San Francisco..."
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"Thank you."
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"All passengers in rows 16 and higher may board now."
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"- About two hours. - Two hours? We can still make it."
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"Okay. I'm gonna drive. Thank you."
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"Jesus Christ, slow down."
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"Have you ever had a fresh grape?"
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"I've had fresh apples, never had a fresh grape."
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"I've never had a fresh cherry, never had a fresh pear."
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"Never seen a pear. Never saw a pear outside of a fruit stand."
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"There's no message."
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"- Yeah. - Yeah. It's not working?"
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"- No. - Did you check it after you changed it?"
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"No, I didn't check it, I thought it was... I did it right."
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"So what?"
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"So we miss a couple of calls, big deal."
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"This is nice country, don't you think? Nice country up here."
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"I mean, what do you have to be to be settled down?"
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"We have a house, and chairs."
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"but I wonder why it doesn't work as a pie."
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"Grape pie? There's no grape pie."
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"I don't know..."
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"They ruined the continental United States."
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"You don't need more states. We're not the British empire."
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"What, are they trying to turn us into the British empire?"
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