Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Baptism (S02E02)

"But, you know what?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I'll leave you the number where I'm gonna be staying..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"- just in case anything comes up. - Okay."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"God, I hate doing this, 'cause, you know, you always take it the wrong way."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"You take everything the wrong way, ever since I've known you."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Seven years ago, I was in Paris, and I remember it exactly-"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Forget Paris!"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"All right, you stole my outgoing message on my answering machine."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"What, are you crazy? What, are you nuts?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I know you're ethical, I'm ethical."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"You know, when people steal jokes, we fucking hate that."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"You don't even know what you're talking about."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"You have my same answering machine outgoing message..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"and it bugs me!"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"- That's my message! - I wrote it in Paris!"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"You wrote it in Paris? I had that message seven years ago!"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I wrote it seven and a half years ago!"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Whose word are you gonna trust, okay?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"An ex-alcoholic's, or a person who was lucid 24 hours a day..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"his whole life?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"- Please change it. - What?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"'Cause it's really bothering me."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I want you to change that 'cause people call me..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"and they call you, and they go, "Larry David has the same thing.""
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"So I say, "It's not Larry David's, it's mine.""
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Come on, change it. Can you... Come on."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"He doesn't have a wife, and his parents are dead."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"That's right. I hold onto these things, man."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Doesn't have a wife, and his parents are dead."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Do me a favor and change it for me."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Yeah, I'll change it, because you don't have a wife..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"and your parents, you lost your parents."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I'm laughing, 'cause you're funny."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"And they would've been 95, but they're dead."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"- I'm laughing but if you don't change it- - It's a shame."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Are you done?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Yeah, I'm done. I didn't steal your message, asshole."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I didn't take it."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"You took it from me, but you know what? I'll be the man."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Whatever."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Ridiculous."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Hi, we're not in. Please leave a message at the tone. Thank you."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"- What's wrong with that? - What's wrong? It's because it's not fair."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"- At least it's an admission of guilt. - It's not an admission of guilt."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"How's that an admission of guilt? I was the man."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I'm a big man. I'm a big, expansive man."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"You're a small, petty man."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"You know, so then to show that I was the man..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I changed the message right in front of him in the office."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"- From the office? - Yeah."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I didn't know you could change your outgoing message."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"What do I got to take? Do I need a traveling outfit?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Yes, you need a traveling outfit, you need something for the baptism."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"- You don't know what a baptism is? - I have no idea."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"- Something to do with water? - Yeah."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I can't believe you don't know what a baptism is."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"- I don't know what it is. - You'll find out tomorrow, firsthand."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"You're gonna witness the whole thing."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"- And then something for the wedding? - Then something for the wedding."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"- Then the next day? - Yes."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Boy, this is rough."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"This guy's converting."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"You guys come to our side, we don't go to your side."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Yeah. Jews don't convert. I'm really surprised."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"You know what? If he didn't convert, she wouldn't marry him."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"She's very passionate about her religion."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Why do Christians take everything so personally..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"with Christ, you know?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"It's like, not only do you have to worship him..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"you want everybody to."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"It's like, I like lobster. Do I go around pushing lobster on people?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Do I say, "You must like lobsters, eat lobster."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
""It's good, it's good"? You know, it's not only where you live."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"You go to Africa, you travel all over the world."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
""Eat lobster, have some more lobster, it's good.""
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"- I don't really think it's- - "We want you to have lobster!""
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Lobster and religion, I really don't see the similarities."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"What time is the car picking us up in the morning?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I'm gonna drive."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"- Let's just take- - No, I don't wanna take that car service."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"They never show up, they're not dependable."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Come on, honey, let's get going!"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I left them in the office."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Shit."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"That's okay, we got time."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"It's all right, we have time. We got up early enough."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"They're not there."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"And I know where they are."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Yesterday, when I pressed the security code to get into my office..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"there was this creepy guy and he was watching me..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"and he saw me press every number."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"and I knew something was gonna happen."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Somebody came into your office and stole airline tickets to Monterey?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I knew I should've said something to the supervisor."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Why would somebody steal tickets to Monterey?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Why not? Monterey's a beautiful place."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Was anything else stolen? Was anything else gone?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I don't know, I wasn't paying attention."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"He's not gonna break into our house, he's going to Monterey."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"This is ridiculous."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I'll call the airline and tell them what happened."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"He can't get on the plane with our tickets, can he?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Why can't he? It's a ticket."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"He hands them the ticket, he walks on the plane. Call the airline."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"No, I don't think it works like that. I don't know."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Thank you."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Well? What?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I'm still on hold, Larry. How are we doing on time?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I don't know. We'll make it, I think."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Hi, yes."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Somebody's gonna get on the plane with our tickets."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"No..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"They're gonna get a supervisor."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Look at this."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Should I go to Lincoln?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"- Whatever you want. - I need Lincoln approval."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"There's the lot."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Hi."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"Okay, let me just..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"No, because I've already spoken to you."
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Show more clips