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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Fancy Brudgom (S01E01)

"You know, can we actually cool it on the testicles"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"For a minute?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Honestly, jake, I wouldn't even know how to bring it up."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It won't. Just tell her how you feel."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But we need to talk about ottawa.""
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Right. And then she'll say, "you're a selfish man-pig,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And I hope you die alone, and I never loved you.""
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, god. She never loved me."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"She's not gonna say any of that"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Because she's not criminally insane."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay, just calm down."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We'll think of something together."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's gonna be all right. Take a deep breath."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"No deep breaths."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Mm."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"How's your apology to officer deetmore coming?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yes, I saw a draft of it on your desk."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It was so horrifying, I had to destroy the whole pad."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Just go downstairs and apologize."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Fine. I'll say, "I'm sorry.""
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Still working on that afternoon almond?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's like sea glass. You do you."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[gasps] [dramatic music]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oops! [squeaks]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Butter feet-- sorry about that."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You just ruined my life!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I hope you get hit by a truck"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And a dog takes a dump on your face!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Nothing to see here--"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Just a little hypoglycemic rage."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm never like that."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That's okay. It was my fault."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I shouldn't have bumped your cashew."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Cashew? It was an almond, you idiot!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I hope you drown in a tub!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"(jake) okay, buddy."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Three very reasonable explanations"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"This page about how my life is new york,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And I love the chantilly ecru paper for place cards."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Those are all excellent choices."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You're a smart and wonderful man."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"With fantastic handwriting."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Sure, with fantastic handwriting."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Charles, a professional calligrapher."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You can do anything,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Including, but not limited to, talking to vivian."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Right. Right. Right."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And she might even get mad at you."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But I promise you will be back to doing weird sex stuff"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Together in no time."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[sighs] all right."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Great idea, buddy! Eh?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yep! Yeah!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"So who's gonna pay for the paper?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's gonna be $250."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Her name is amy santiago."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"(gina) lick, lick, lick."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's an ice cream cone. [laughs]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Not when I got this big, juicy cantaloupe wedge"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's so thin I can see through it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Santiago!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Come hold this so it looks bigger in your tiny hand."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Aw, amy left the building 20 minutes ago."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That doesn't make sense."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Santiago loves cantaloupe time."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We wrote a song about it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"♪ cantaloupe"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"(terry) amy, where are you? It's cantaloupe time!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Santiago! Stop!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's not too late."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay, I lied. It's my fourth!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You both betrayed me. That's okay."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[high-pitched voice] ♪ yes, I can"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[high-pitched voice] ♪ yes, I can"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Officer deetmore..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"No, that was it. I did it. I said, "I'm sorry.""
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Hey, I said it again."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What are you even sorry for?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I said the words. I paused afterwards."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I even averted my gaze to make you feel like the alpha."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yeah, but you didn't mean it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'd like you to apologize like you mean it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Fine."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm sorry you're a terrible cop."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm sorry for your goat face and your rodent brain"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Hey!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"So? How'd it go with vivian last night?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Great. It went so great."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I went to her apartment. I sat down face-to-face."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And move to canada, but don't tell her I think that."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Hi! Hi, vivian!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"(both) mwah!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[laughs] hi, jake!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You know that in ancient egypt,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"The peasants drank beer for breakfast?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I've got a mole on my back that needs a looking-at,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I do."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Of course. Totally."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Look, I can't talk to vivian for you. This is crazy."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[sighs] I tried talking to her, just like we practiced."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"She says how excited she is about our future."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Then we made love."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Don't say "made love.""
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Fine, we had wonder-sex."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I don't want to move to canada."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But I can't lose her."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You're my best man. Please help me."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay, but bring it up naturally,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"So she doesn't think I put you up to it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Sure. How hard could that be?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Wait, don't go! I still have to pee."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Why would I stay for that?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"For a little while?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Amy and I folded. You won."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's not a competition. We were on the same team,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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