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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - The Apartment (S01E01)

"Sergeant jeffords,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You're right."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I have been hard on the squad."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"To stand up for them is one of the reasons"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Um, what was it you said this morning?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What do you want, jake?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm watching oprah's legends ball,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Which is what I do every time a close friend"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I came here to apologize."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Look, I was mad at you"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"For being more together than me, and that's not fair."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yeah, you were stupid,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But watching oprah have brunch"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Has taught me that it's okay to forgive."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Great."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You love that apartment, and you said so yourself."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's a great investment."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Here."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And you would turn a small profit."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's a starter apartment, and it's my fault"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[laughs]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yes!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Hello, detective."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Is there a reason"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm ready for my self-evaluation."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"So I asked peralta"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What you thought my biggest flaw was,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And he said, "who cares what holt thinks?""
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That's not surprising."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I should be more confident in my own judgment,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I don't even care if you think I'm right."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Enjoy your soup."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[slurps]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"In your underpants."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Over a game of catch?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'd like that."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Very wise, sir."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Is there any way I can borrow $430,000?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Why on earth do you need that much money?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That's right, because there was no one to look after us,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I want to take vivian somewhere romantic tonight."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"He denies even doing it. I don't know why."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'd make an amazing prostitute."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Says the woman who's been engaged eight times."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Through the window, and he either said,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That you intend to ask us each ten questions."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Flaw?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Something entirely different."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[slow-motion whoosh]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Or we give him a taste of his own medicine."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"A non-violent option."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Just, like, $430,000."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"How about $20,000?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, little mermaid."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And now, the piece de resistance."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[bleats loudly, snorts]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's just I've been pretty busy with police work, you know,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We need you out by next Friday."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That I will not be able to watch"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We'll find you a new one."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Sorry, girl."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That he works out too much."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Whoa. Why the drive-by?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And make sure that nobody is smoking there."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I think it's sexy."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I guess I just love her so much."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"She was put out of her misery instantly,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[sighs shakily] um..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this, sir."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And shaving cream in this locker,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"So we're cleaning it out."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Clean this up. Now."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[scoffs] what are you talking about?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Because I would be your landlady."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You call gum "the dentist.""
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Because I can happily invite you to leave."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yep."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It feels like scoliosis"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Jake-- I know."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Which an ice cream cone could do, by the way."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yeah, that's smart, given my track record."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"See ya."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Excuse me, captain."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Of your best detectives."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Also, you should buy nana's place."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You should live there."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You have a deal. All right."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Shake, shake."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yes."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"He's very disrespectful."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And gets hair all over my computer."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm pumped for these evaluations, sir."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's not my fault."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Because I'll be homeless."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Maybe I'll even have a cute neighbor."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Um... Not to brag,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"From that bag of hair."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And just the fact that you're willing"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Proud mama hen, sir."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And loose hair."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Ohhh, next Friday's a little tough for me."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You gotta stop calling me girl."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"About the benefits of exercise--"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What? No, I wish."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Well, that explains the email you sent"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Also, please stay out of the way"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Both, in slow-motion: Noooo!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You're right. This could be good."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Whoa, you okay?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"So I have 72 arrests,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We got into it again last night."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You know?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Not a doctor. - Shh."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm gonna do some stuff to him."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Is there any way we could move it"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[shady music]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"First of all, you could watch it on your phone."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Or something about a san diego nest."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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