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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - The Apartment (S01E01)

That's right, girl.

"That's right, girl."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Get it, girl.

"Get it, girl."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

(amy) okay, sirs.

"(amy) okay, sirs."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I know why you weren't happy with my self-evaluation.

"I know why you weren't happy with my self-evaluation."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You didn't want me to say a flaw

"You didn't want me to say a flaw"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That was actually positive,

"That was actually positive,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Like how the sergeant always says it's bad

"Like how the sergeant always says it's bad"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sorry.

"Sorry."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But that's not right,

"But that's not right,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Because you value honesty and humility above all else.

"Because you value honesty and humility above all else."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So what's your biggest flaw?

"So what's your biggest flaw?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm too competitive, prone to jealousy,

"I'm too competitive, prone to jealousy,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

"follow rules to a fault,

""follow rules to a fault,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And every now and then, I smoke a cigarette."

"And every now and then, I smoke a cigarette.""

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Is that what you're looking for?

"Is that what you're looking for?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Because I can keep going.

"Because I can keep going."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I am deeply flawed.

"I am deeply flawed."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Santiago-- oh, no.

"Santiago-- oh, no."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

"santiago" in "b" flat.

""santiago" in "b" flat."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You're disappointed.

"You're disappointed."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay, well,

"Okay, well,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm going to go to a secret location

"I'm going to go to a secret location"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ah, very good eye.

"Ah, very good eye."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And you should know it's also pet-friendly.

"And you should know it's also pet-friendly."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

How would you even get a bed in here?

"How would you even get a bed in here?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, murphy bed.

"Oh, murphy bed."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Voila.

"Voila."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Nope.

"Nope."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This is kinda cool.

"This is kinda cool."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

High ceilings, so many windows.

"High ceilings, so many windows."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

In the middle of the living room.

"In the middle of the living room."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

When he goes to the gym,

"When he goes to the gym,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So, lohank, I was reading an article

"So, lohank, I was reading an article"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You going to the gym today?

"You going to the gym today?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

With my wife, nancy.

"With my wife, nancy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We've been having marital problems.

"We've been having marital problems."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, about a year ago, she fell down the stairs

"No, about a year ago, she fell down the stairs"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And broke her back.

"And broke her back."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Now she's addicted to painkillers.

"Now she's addicted to painkillers."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We've been fighting a lot. Mm.

"We've been fighting a lot. Mm."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ohhh.

"Ohhh."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And our dog cinnamon got out.

"And our dog cinnamon got out."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I wish I could say

"I wish I could say"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But the vet assured us that her suffering

"But the vet assured us that her suffering"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Was unending and terrible.

"Was unending and terrible."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Just venting a little. I-I appreciate--

"Just venting a little. I-I appreciate--"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Of course.

"Of course."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Anything for a good friend like you.

"Anything for a good friend like you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yep.

"Yep."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Why are the two of you doing this self-evaluation together?

"Why are the two of you doing this self-evaluation together?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Scully doesn't handle pressure well.

"Scully doesn't handle pressure well."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But scully and I have a combined total

"But scully and I have a combined total"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Of 14 arrests.

"Of 14 arrests."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Would've been 20, but we only got 14.

"Would've been 20, but we only got 14."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That's not enough arrests.

"That's not enough arrests."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's a self-evaluation.

"It's a self-evaluation."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm trying to hurry,

"I'm trying to hurry,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Just go--

"Just go--"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Uh, we accidentally dropped all our loose hair

"Uh, we accidentally dropped all our loose hair"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hasn't detective lohank been through enough?

"Hasn't detective lohank been through enough?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He just got diagnosed with prostate cancer.

"He just got diagnosed with prostate cancer."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Course he did.

"Course he did."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What's wrong with you guys?

"What's wrong with you guys?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I've lost control of my squad.

"I've lost control of my squad."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Your massage chair is on.

"Your massage chair is on."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah, I'm poor. I'm not a savage.

"Yeah, I'm poor. I'm not a savage."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Man, what am I gonna do?

"Man, what am I gonna do?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And then I could rent it to you till you find

"And then I could rent it to you till you find"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Have you been dealing drugs?

"Have you been dealing drugs?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I cut my own hair. I walk to work.

"I cut my own hair. I walk to work."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I've rented the same crap box since I was 20

"I've rented the same crap box since I was 20"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

'cause it's so cheap.

"'cause it's so cheap."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I've saved up money,

"I've saved up money,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Are you being serious?

"Are you being serious?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We were drinking 40's this morning.

"We were drinking 40's this morning."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm saying I could give you a fair rent

"I'm saying I could give you a fair rent"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You're gina.

"You're gina."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Your lifelong dream

"Your lifelong dream"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Is to be on wife swap.

"Is to be on wife swap."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You think ray j is a national treasure.

"You think ray j is a national treasure."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah, so what? I'm eclectic.

"Yeah, so what? I'm eclectic."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You're not better than me, okay?

"You're not better than me, okay?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

[laughs] grow up, jake.

"[laughs] grow up, jake."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

[imitating gina] "grow up, jake."

"[imitating gina] "grow up, jake.""

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah, thanks for your help.

"Yeah, thanks for your help."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Old-school styles.

"Old-school styles."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

[sighs]

"[sighs]"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Just checking out my new bedroom.

"Just checking out my new bedroom."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, good.

"Oh, good."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And smells like 10 million butts.

"And smells like 10 million butts."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I take it your apartment thing didn't work out.

"I take it your apartment thing didn't work out."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I mean, I know you were born in your fifties,

"I mean, I know you were born in your fifties,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Thanks?

"Thanks?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Gina just offered to buy nana's apartment

"Gina just offered to buy nana's apartment"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But we've known each other since we were kids,

"But we've known each other since we were kids,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And now I find out she's been saving all these years?

"And now I find out she's been saving all these years?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The person that I'm really mad at is myself

"The person that I'm really mad at is myself"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I gotta talk to gina. Thanks for your help, amy.

"I gotta talk to gina. Thanks for your help, amy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Didn't say anything, don't want credit

"Didn't say anything, don't want credit"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, wait.

"Hey, wait."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Bit of a killjoy,

"Bit of a killjoy,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, my god. But your biggest flaw is...

"Oh, my god. But your biggest flaw is..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Although I'm pretty sure I caught some form of face lice

"Although I'm pretty sure I caught some form of face lice"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah, it was fun. Hey, you wanna grab a drink?

"Yeah, it was fun. Hey, you wanna grab a drink?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, shoot, I would, but I'm meeting vivian

"Oh, shoot, I would, but I'm meeting vivian"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

For that romantic pig colon dinner.

"For that romantic pig colon dinner."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

[sighs] hey, rosa.

"[sighs] hey, rosa."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

On account of all the asking you out

"On account of all the asking you out"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And staring at you from point-blank range.

"And staring at you from point-blank range."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But you're pretty cool

"But you're pretty cool"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, we will.

"Oh, we will."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

They make a sorbet out of the tail.

"They make a sorbet out of the tail."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm going to yell at you,

"I'm going to yell at you,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And I don't want santiago to read my lips.

"And I don't want santiago to read my lips."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Excuse me?

"Excuse me?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Santiago is one

"Santiago is one"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Scully and hitchcock only arrested 14 people,

"Scully and hitchcock only arrested 14 people,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

They only arrested 6 people last year?

"They only arrested 6 people last year?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And I know peralta can be childish,

"And I know peralta can be childish,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm going to do your evaluation now.

"I'm going to do your evaluation now."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

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