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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - The Apartment (S01E01)

"Remember when nana got cable?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We watched house party 2 so many times."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It was a pajama-jamma-jam. We had no choice."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay, well, maybe we can figure out a way for you"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Hup, hup, before we get all financial,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"A'ight."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"So talk to me, goose. How we lookin'?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Sexy, but not like we're trying too hard."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Like, sure, we're trying,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But it's almost effortless."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh. My first impression"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Jake, you have six massage chairs."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Well, they don't make a massage couch."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay, but you also have three turntables."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Check it out."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[scatting]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And I still haven't quite figured out"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"How to sync up the beats, but it's not bad, right?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[music stops] okay, you also purchased"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Olympus has fallen on demand 12 times."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Was it a difficult movie for you to follow?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"How much do I have to cut back in order to keep this place?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Infinity percent."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That sounds bad."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I only said "kiddo" to soften the blow, kiddo."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And then all of the sudden, they decide they're going co-op"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It seems illegal"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But I doubt it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Mail tub?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Nope. No."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"This is actually a cool little bathroom."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Unless..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We could get the money."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You'd make a decent prostitute."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But I was actually talking about this guy I know, frank."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"So he's a loan shark."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Maybe you're not thinking this through."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Uh, but never married once."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Game, set, match--linetti."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"So let's go."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"(terry) sir, I know we got off to a weird start,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"So to get things back on track,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'd like to bring in santiago next."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"She's had a great year."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You wanted to see me, sirs?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
""bring in santiago next,""
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Are you ready for your self-evaluation?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I am."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I understand from a lip-reading session last week"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But for you, I have just one question."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What is your biggest..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"My biggest flaw?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Working too hard?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Being too thorough?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Caring too much?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Got it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Rosa, look!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Lohank is shaving right now."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[razor buzzing]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"♪"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Boyle, call an ambulance."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We fill his locker with shaving cream"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And I know just where to get a bundle of loose hair."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Look, I'm not a bank."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's my own personal money."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"So I take a larger vig."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"A "vig." so cool."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Nah, too much."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I make small loans to desperate losers."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And friends, like you."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Well, I'm happy this went terribly."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Uh, we do have to go now, so please excuse us."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Wait, I just need enough to show the co-op board"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Two bags of ziti?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[gasps] "bags of ziti?""
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Get on board."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Come on, gina. Get on board."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Do not sing into his shell."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I have no idea what you're talking about right now."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What have you done?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Nothing gets you smiling like cold-blooded vengeance."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[laughs]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Emilio's giant bag of hair."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[chuckles]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, this is disgusting."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's perfect. [squeals]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[giggles] ooh, check--check this out."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[laughing]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm a billy goat. [bleats]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, I think I swallowed a bunch of stranger hair."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Ugh!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"(jake) hey."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Mr. Henders, the king of the lobby."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Jake, the co-op board meeting was an hour ago."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"With my police friends,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"About my financial situation,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But I am ready to put that to rest right now."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You've been an adequate tenant."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Adequate. But we needed a completed application"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"With all due respect, sir, that's not fair."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I mean, I didn't even know that the building"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I got one letter."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We left you 15 voicemails as well."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm only 33, so--"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We're in the same generation. I'm 31."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"31? Mm-hmm."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But I call you "mister.""
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And you wear a suit, and..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Did you just point at my bald spot?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We need to get it ready for brokers to show."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Based on your judge-y eyes,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Un-boom."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You got a full head-- head of hair."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Nope. Okay."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[groans]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm gonna be homeless."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's like a made-for-tv movie"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Because I won't have a television"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Chin up, lil' pup."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Second, this isn't the only apartment in the city."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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