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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - The Bro Mitzvah (S08E08)

"and talking about her night with Crosby, Stills and Nash."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Waiter, can I have another breadstick? - And Young."
How I Met Your Mother
"Please come back."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Whooping Continues] - Okay. I'll be there soon."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Really amazing. - We really did it. I think we did it."
How I Met Your Mother
"- You know? - Well..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- You didn't miss a thing. - Oh, Quinn?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Yeah? - You got a little something."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh! Oh."
How I Met Your Mother
"Let's head back, guys. This night has been completely half-assed."
How I Met Your Mother
"You obviously missed the strip show."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Hey-oh. - [Horn Honks]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted, this was my bachelor party."
How I Met Your Mother
"A man only gets two or three of these in his lifetime."
How I Met Your Mother
"And this is all you do for me? That's it. I'm calling it."
How I Met Your Mother
"Who needs a ride back to the city?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, oh, guys. Wait. Hold on. Hold on."
How I Met Your Mother
"Drinking. A shot."
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"Shooting. A gun."
How I Met Your Mother
"Shotgun. Shotgun?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I know. It's like a clown car."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, I can make some room by grinding on Ralph's lap."
How I Met Your Mother
"S-Sitting! L-I meant... I meant sitting."
How I Met Your Mother
"This is the worst bachelor party ever."
How I Met Your Mother
"Man, my bachelor party was incre... Wait for it."
How I Met Your Mother
"Incredible."
How I Met Your Mother
"Self shake."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Gasps] You take that back, clown!"
How I Met Your Mother
"I am nothing like Ralph Macchio."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah. You've got more in common with the clown..."
How I Met Your Mother
"except his suit's more expensive."
How I Met Your Mother
"What kind of loser..."
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"has his bachelor party 10 yards from A.C. And doesn't even gamble?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Tires Squealing] - [Screaming]"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Vehicle Horns Honking]"
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"Sorry. Oh."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, wait. Just a little more. Okay, sorry. Okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Laughs]"
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Tape Fast Forwards] - [Ted Narrating] Kids, I'll skip over the gambling."
How I Met Your Mother
"Like I said, it was a complicated game..."
How I Met Your Mother
"although your old man did pick it up pretty quickly."
How I Met Your Mother
"[All Cheering]"
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"You just won 300 bucks."
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"I just lost 5,000."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, right. 'Cause the chicken."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yep. That's-That's 5,000. Yep."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Laughs]"
How I Met Your Mother
"See, I'm laughing because you couldn't see me take my top off..."
How I Met Your Mother
"but I just saw you lose your shirt."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Hey-oh! - [Horn Honks]"
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"Sorry. That was a real sneeze."
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"It might've made you miss what I was saying."
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"- Loser! - [Laughs]"
How I Met Your Mother
"No, we're not going anywhere!"
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"I can still make this night legendary."
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"Uh... Uh..."
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"Oh, oh. Okay."
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"I got some credit. I just... Mm, Marshall, stand over there for good luck."
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"- Oh, sure. - All right."
How I Met Your Mother
"[All Cheering]"
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"Oh! Oh!"
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"You crazy son of a bitch! You did it!"
How I Met Your Mother
"I just lost $80,000."
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"Oh, right. Right. Yeah, 'cause the black jellybean."
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"That-That's 80,000. He's right. [Clears Throat]"
How I Met Your Mother
"You know, Ralph, earlier at the salon..."
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"I waxed on, then waxed off."
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"Everywhere."
How I Met Your Mother
"Uh, listen, lady."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall? Where's Marshall?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, Lily, don't overreact, but..."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Speaking Foreign Language]"
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"Oh, oh. Okay, I got some credit."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall, stand over there for good luck."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Oh, sure. - All right."
How I Met Your Mother
"You sold my husband?"
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"Lily, can you be more like the Chinese mobster and give me some credit?"
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"I'm going back for Marshall. I just need to get some money."
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"You have nothing to worry about. These are the "good" mobsters."
How I Met Your Mother
"Wow. What kind of bozo does that to a friend?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Mouthing Word] - Shut it, Ralph Macchio."
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"No. You shut it. Ralph Macchio's right. You are a bozo."
How I Met Your Mother
"Um, I think they prefer "people of bright color.""
How I Met Your Mother
"You know what a bachelor party's about?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Hanging out with your friends and having a good time."
How I Met Your Mother
"But you only care about the good time, not the friends."
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"So you know what? I'm-I'm done caring about you then."
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"- I'm outta here. - Ted."
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"of a Nick Nolte mug shot and put her in a cab home."
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"Thank you for abandoning me on what has been one of the worst nights of my life."
How I Met Your Mother
"So it's my usual fee, plus I always charge an extra hundred..."
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"for girl-on-clown action."
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"What the hell is she doing here?"
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"Robin, I swear. Nothing happened."
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"That means just hand stuff."
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"- [Clown Horn Honks] - [Shouting]"
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"No, no. Stop! Stop! Stop!"
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"- It's over. - [Ring Clatters]"
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"[Scoffs] You know..."
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"I never got to do that."
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"[Sighs]"
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"Ted? Robin."
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"- Barney is suicidal. - I know! It's awesome!"
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"It started three weeks earlier."
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"And you will disappoint me."
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"But make it great, okay?"
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"Oh, it'll be great, all right."
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"Okay, after two weeks of brainstorming..."
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"- Marshall, what do you got? - Well, nothing now."
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"This is impossible. How do you make something memorable..."
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"for a guy who makes every night the best night of his life?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Give him the worst night of his life."
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"We'll give him the worst hotel room with the worst entertainment."
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"- [Horn Honks] - The wrong Karate Kid..."
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"and the absolute last stripper he would want to see."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hold on. You want me to pretend my life's gone to crap and I'm back to stripping..."
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"just to screw with my ex-fiancé?"
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"I love it!"
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"That party will be so terrible, he'll have to leave it."
How I Met Your Mother
"Then I'll instruct his arch nemesis to say..."
How I Met Your Mother
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