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Clips from Three's Company - Roper's Car (S02E02)

"it would destroy the entire economy of this country?"
Three's Company
"Oh, he's right. Let's do it."
Three's Company
"Ooh. Okay, count me in."
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"Terrific. All for one and one for all!"
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"Jack, are you sure we can manage this?"
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"Everything will work out fine, trust me."
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"[ Girls Gasp ] Aw, nuts."
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"I'm such an idiot."
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"Breakfast anyone?"
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"[ Mutters ]"
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"What do you kids want with a 20-year-old clunker anyway?"
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"Well, we're not gonna run it in the grand prix."
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"You'll be lucky if you can run it in the street."
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"It's okay, Mrs. Roper. We just need some wheels."
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"So does the car."
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"Helen, I'm trying to type the bill of sale."
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"What's happened to "U"? Nothing happened to me."
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"I don't mean Y-0-U "you." I mean "U" "U.""
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"You still wanna buy a used car from this man?"
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"The "U" on the typewriter, somebody stole it."
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"Oh!"
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"Well, no use crying about it."
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"It's probably in Mexico with a new paint job by now."
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"[ Mr. Roper ] That's very funny, Helen. Very funny."
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"How do I type "automobile" without a "U"?"
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"C-A-R."
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"The missing "U" is an omen, Stanley."
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"You shouldn't have gone back on your word to Mr. Wagstaff."
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"- Wagstaff, the used car dealer? - Yeah. Stanley promised him he could buy the car."
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"Yeah. And how come he didn't shake hands on the deal?"
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"Over the phone?"
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"You accepted his offer of $200."
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"She's right. I'm sorry, kids. I gave my word to Wagstaff."
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"Oh. Quick, how much money do you have?"
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"Once I give my word, that's it."
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"Roper's word is Roper's bond. That's a rule I never break."
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"We'll give you $212.60."
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"Except when it's $212.60."
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"We got a car. Yeah! Look at this."
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"How about that? We got a car!"
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"[ Imitating Car ]"
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"May I open the door for you, madam? Oh, thank you."
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"Madam, may I open the door for you? [ Imitates Door Opening ]"
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"Oh! We finally got a car."
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"Now we get to go to those places we've never"
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"been before... the mountains, the Mojave Desert."
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"The gas station."
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"It just shows you what can happen when we all pull together."
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"Just think, no more buses."
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"The first thing I've gotta do is take that car down for a lube job."
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"But right now let's plan how we're gonna use it. Okay."
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"This is what's gonna happen tomorrow morning."
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"Since my school is way downtown,"
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"I will drive you, Janet, to your flower shop,"
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"and then drop you, Chrissy, off in front of your office building in Westwood."
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"That's terrific. Then you, Jack, can pick up me, Chrissy, and her, Janet, after work."
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"But I get out of school way before you two quit work."
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"So, you'll come home, then come back and pick us up later."
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"How do I know what I'm gonna be doing later?"
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"I know. You'll be picking us up."
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"I don't want to spend the rest of the day as a chauffeur."
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"But if you've got the car, then we'll have to take the bus home."
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"I got a better idea. I'll take the car."
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"I'll drop Janet off. Then you can come with me to Westwood..."
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"and take the bus downtown."
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"That way Janet and I will have a ride home."
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"How do I get home?"
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"You're welcome to come with us. [ Jack ] Oh, good."
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"After you grab a bus back to Westwood."
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"Wait. That's not fair. I'll be bussing both ways while you two will be driving."
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"I have to go the farthest."
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"That's not our fault. We didn't pick your school."
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"I got a better idea. Why doesn't Chrissy drive"
Three's Company
"me downtown and take the bus back to Westwood?"
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"- That way I'll have the car. - Hey, that's not bad,"
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"because then you could bring the car back to Westwood..."
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"and leave it with Chrissy to pick me up, and take a bus home."
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"That's a terrible idea. If I have to drive him all the way downtown,"
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"I have to get up a half hour earlier."
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"Maybe I can drive Jack downtown. And leave the car with me?"
Three's Company
"Then how do I get back to Santa Monica? Jack can drive you back."
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"No, Jack cannot drive her back. Why not?"
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"Because Jack just ran out of gas."
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"Gee whiz, what happened to all that "pulling together"?"
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"[ Groans ] Yeah, you're right."
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"We'll figure something out. I guess I was forgetting the principle of the thing."
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"You know, it's not your car, and it's not your car. It's our car."
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"You're absolutely right. I just thought of something."
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"What happens if one of us has an accident?"
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"In my car? I mean..."
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"[ Chuckles ] I... You know..."
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"[ Imitating Car ] Here, take the wheel. [ Chuckles ]"
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"You sold your car for $212.60?"
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"Yeah, Wagstaff. You only offered me 200."
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"That's why I had to wheel and deal, right, Helen?"
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"You're the wizard of Wall Street, Stanley."
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"It's too bad, Mr. Roper. I'd have gone higher."
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"Higher? You didn't tell me on the phone that you'd go higher."
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"I'm in the used car racket. I always leave a little room for haggling."
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"You didn't tell me that I had to haggle. What kind of a businessman are you?"
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"Well, it seems a shame to let a gem like that go for a couple of hundred."
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"- A "gem"? - He's trying to make us feel bad."
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"- The car's really an old wreck. - Maybe so, but didn't you say it was a '57 Chevrolet?"
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"Yeah. So? So 1957 was a very special year to car buffs."
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"That particular model is a classic."
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"A classic?"
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"Yeah. You could've gotten $1200 for it."
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"[ Stammering ]"
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"Aah! Aah! $1200? $1200?"
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"Careful, Stanley. They're bringing back the death penalty for murder."
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"Used car salesmen don't count!"
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"And you offered me 200?"
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"I told you I left room for haggling. Okay. Let's haggle."
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"- It's too late now. - Maybe it's not too late."
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"But, Stanley, the kids paid you the money! They own the car now."
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"But I never signed over the registration. You gave them your word."
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"I also gave my word to Wagstaff here."
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"So now you're going back on both words."
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"Wrong. I'm only going back on the second word, not the first."
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"I should've stuck with the first word in the first place."
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