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Clips from The Simpsons - Helter Shelter (S14E14)

"Don't you have any rooms?"
The Simpsons
"Sorry, folks. Every hotel room in town is booked."
The Simpsons
"We haven't had a good idea since Raisin Bran."
The Simpsons
"- What? - Heresy."
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"- Let him speak! - No! He's crazy!"
The Simpsons
"I do not want another lecture from a German backpacker..."
The Simpsons
"...about how we don't appreciate the National Park System."
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"I know. We'll stay with my very best friend in the world. Lenny."
The Simpsons
"Hey, Simpsons."
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"Oh, I wanted the black one."
The Simpsons
"So how do you afford such a sweet pad?"
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"- What the hell was that? - Oh, I share a common wall..."
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"- Thanks for letting us stay with you. - Oh, it is such an honor..."
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"...to host our favorite family. And you came at an exciting time."
The Simpsons
"I'm chairing a meeting of the Galactic U.N."
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"My apologies. The paint is still wet on Ambassador Farfoon."
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"Maggie's already drunk on the fumes. And she's a mean drunk."
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"Come on, guys. You gotta stay. Tonight's the big cockfight."
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"Pfft. Who wants to eat a loser?"
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"Dad, we have to find a place soon."
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"You gotta do everything like they did back then."
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"1895? Forget it."
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"We'd be too late to save Lincoln and too early to save Kennedy."
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"Hey, if TV can give Mike O'Malley a home..."
The Simpsons
"Welcome to the Reality Channel."
The Simpsons
"You see, I gotta get back on the TV..."
The Simpsons
"...because with The Osbournes and the soft-core porns..."
The Simpsons
"...and the dogs pooping and nobody scooping and the:"
The Simpsons
"We need a family that hasn't been on TV forever."
The Simpsons
"I like what I'm seeing in there."
The Simpsons
"Argh! I'll teach you to whistle on the Sabbath!"
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"They go to pieces over nothing."
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"Where's that kid with my latte?"
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"He's not coming, is he?"
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"Is he?"
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"Welcome to your home for the next six months."
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"I look like Buster Brown."
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"Oh, you look adorable, Lisa."
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"Your school chums are going to be so jealous of your little outfit."
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"Uh, Mr. Simpson, that's a chamber pot."
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"Befoul an Army helmet?"
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"Behind this door, you'll find the one piece..."
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"You come in here to express your deepest feelings..."
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"I need that tape!"
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"It takes six hours to make breakfast now."
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"You should see how much trouble Dad's having shaving with a straight razor."
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"Finally. I'm no longer a slave to the Gillette corporation."
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"Okay, more coal. Less coal. Less, less. More."
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"Less, less, less."
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"And none."
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"Perfect."
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"By orders of The Reality Channel I must make sure..."
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"...that you only buy items available in 1895."
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"Twenty-three skidoo."
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"You know, it's 6:15."
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"Maybe I could wuther your heights?"
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"...and I'll take off my Victorian undergarments."
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"That's... No. Up."
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"This has been the worst week of my life."
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"I miss my toys, my video games."
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"You've been in there over an hour!"
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"Other people have to confess too, you know."
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"Oh, I can't hold it in."
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"Ugh. Bread tastes like clothes."
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"I'm so cold."
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"This is great television."
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"Yeah. I can't wait to see which one of them dies first."
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"Look, we can't give up. We're on TV. And when you're on TV..."
The Simpsons
"...you dig in your claws and you never let go."
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"Just like Bill Moyers."
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"Telegram for Haywood U. Cuddlemee."
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"Haywood U. Cuddlemee?"
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"Big guy in the back, Haywood U. Cuddlemee? Hey... Oh."
The Simpsons
"...where your Union meets your Central Pacific. Stop."
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"Aw."
The Simpsons
"- ...some more cod liver oil? - Yes, Mom."
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"With all this hard work, I'm too tired to worry about the world."
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"Oh, I wish you would reconsider the proposal of Hiram Beatwife."
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"This is boring."
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"Yeah. Switch it to the Elderly Animal Channel."
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"I have an idea. It's crazy, but it just might work."
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"We bring in the biggest, most famous star from a '70s sitcom..."
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"...whose phone hasn't been disconnected."
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"Because nobody's watching you clowns."
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"If you was to ask me, you're all too calm and happy."
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"This still isn't working. Fixing this show is gonna take some original thinking."
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"I think I've got an idea."
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"Hmm."
The Simpsons
"I would never sign that."
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"Unless there was a red sticker that said sign here."
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"Where do you get those things, anyway?"
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"Our good bellows, our stereopticon."
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"Your strop."
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"...with the reality of the show."
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"Which reminds me, burn the leftovers. Leave nothing."
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"I can't remember the last time I cried like this."
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"When you put your T-shirt on backwards?"
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"Oh, yes."
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"- I'm a paralegal from Cleveland. - And I'm a nutritionist from Santa Fe."
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"I just couldn't eat anymore kangaroo testicles."
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"So the show just abandoned us here."
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"The weird part is, now I can't get enough of them."
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"Wow. Marge, I think I figured out their primitive language."
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"Now we know what it feels like to be tormented."
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"And yet I learn nothing."
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"That Lenny sure had a crazy apartment."
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"No more reality shows for us."
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"Let's watch some quality, scripted television."
The Simpsons
"...Elevator Inspectors Unit."
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"Here's the thing, inspector. The button for five doesn't light up."
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"TV was the one good thing in my life and now I can't enjoy it anymore."
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"What about books?"
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"If we formed a club, we could serve drinks."
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"Good idea, Lisa."
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"Life is..."
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"Hey, don't we regular fans get anything?"
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"Tsk, tsk, tsk."
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"This is a joke."
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"Perfect."
The Simpsons
"...think like a bug, become a bug."
The Simpsons
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