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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S02E02)

"but the key to understanding your Uncle Barney is this."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"When times are hard, it's impossible to keep him around."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey. What are you guys talking about?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Lily. - I got to go."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But not a beautiful girl--"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"three tattoos and one pesky substance abuse problem ago."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Which one of you is Stuart?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Look, I know you have some stuff planned for Marshall's bachelor party,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"As in, not sure whether you'd hit it?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I'm serious. - So am I. No strippers."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- You just winked. - No I didn't."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You've got the groom..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and doesn't show up again until the end."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Yeah. - This one's in HD."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Funny story about that gift."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- It's kind of see-through. - Whoa, ho ho!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"There's a store on Eighth Avenue that specializes in--"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"uh, battery-powered, adult- recreational fake penises."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And so Aunt Robin went to a store on Eighth Avenue,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Robin, this is my Grandma Lois and my Aunt Florence."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Listen, I, uh, I forgot something somewhere so I'm going to just go..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Robin, this is my mom, Janice."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Wait, do I introduce you as "Cousin Margaret" or "Sister Margaret?""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but I procured for us five loco-bueno,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But at least in jail, you get to have sex!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We're still going to Atlantic City, right?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, did I not tell you? Yeah, we switched it. We're going to Foxwoods."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Foxwoods?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What the heck's in Foxwoods?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"They've set aside our very own craps table,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Yeah. - Great. The night's ruined."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The fight starts in an hour we don't want to miss it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's a girl taking her clothes off. How long can it take?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"All of these gifts are so thoughtful."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Gift. You. No."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, just, um... rearranging the gifts. The pile looked a bit precarious. So..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"she would never quite be able to explain the logic of her next move."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Shh! She's starting."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh my God, are you all right?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Dude, what is the matter with you?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That knockout will be talked about for years to come!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Now, her mother didn't use this one, but she used one just like it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"climb into a drawer, 'cause that's what marriage is like."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"ever since he got back from Iraq, pretty much all he does is drink."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- So, show time? - What is the matter with you?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Uh, we'd feel bad."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I don't have to do it? Well, guess what?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I know I don't have to do it. I do it because I am good at it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And he enjoyed it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Man, what a show, huh?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I may be done eating."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ooh, and you guys were all, "Barney, put out the cigar!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Did I put it out?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It was a small fire, not even big enough to force an evacuation of the hotel,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, I was just trying to be a good best man."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You don't mean that."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Newark Airport, please."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and it won't be long until someone else realizes that,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"In your face, loser!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Take it easy, all right. Ted's still my best man, too."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, um, seriously. You guys are co-best men."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It took me a while to figure out"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Like when your aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall were broken up."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But when times are good, it's impossible to get rid of him."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What are you guys doing?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We just finished planning Marshall's bachelor party."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Good, you haven't started yet. Let's talk logistics."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Now, have you laid out ground rules with Lily?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Actually, we're, uh, we're thinking of skipping the strippers."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You... you want to have a party without strippers."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"This was the worse thing I could have said."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You see, uncle Barney loved cooking up bachelor parties."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And it was always the same recipe."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You start with a slightly cramped hotel suite."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Fill them with your closest friends."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Turn the heat up to about 90."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Pump in a metric ton of cigar smoke."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And then, right in the middle of the room, you throw in a girl."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"no, if this girl was ever beautiful, it was two kids,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Please, I really don't want to do this."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Shut up, put in your mouth guard."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ah, horrifying."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Classic. - Oh, please, please, no, no."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I don't want anything like that happening to me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Stuart's still trying to forget that night."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's my bachelor party. We're not having strippers."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, he thinks he has a sain it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Now, just, uh, tell me where we're going to be and I'll make some calls."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I think I can get the fourth one for free."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Quick question. Prosthetic arm. Deal breaker?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Barney, there is... - Before you say no, it has attachments."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Subtitles: Willow's Team"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Uh, well, he told me he doesn't. - Uh, well, he told me he does."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- When? - Every minute of every day"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"as his inner animal thrashes against the cage of his own puritanical upbringing."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Or do you guys not like naked girls."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Um, we love naked girls."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"They're one of the best things in the world."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It goes... naked girls, democracy,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"the scene in Every Which Way But Loose where the monkey gives a guy the finger."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I mean, all right, fine, the stripper at Stuart's bachelor party was a 15."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- She was 15? - No, a 15. Like in blackjack."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"This is important to Marshall. So, promise me, no strippers."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"All right, I promise."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Now say it without winking."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No strippers."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, when the day arrived, we all climbed into a rented Escalade and set out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Now, every bachelor party is usually made up of the same stock characters."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"the best man..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- the guy who speaks only in clichés... - Dead man walking!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"...the guy who disappears at the beginning of the night"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"All right, who's up for a little blackjack before we check in."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- No, no, no. - None for me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"See you guys back at the room, then."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And, of course, well... Barney."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"This car has a DVD player? You mean,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"we could have been watching these pornos the whole time?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"This one's in H-double-D. Oh!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That same night, aunt Lily was having a wedding shower."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And Robin showed up gift in hand."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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