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Clips from All in the Family - Archie's Aching Back (S01E01)

Maybe things wouldn't grow there.

"Maybe things wouldn't grow there."

All in the Family

Hey, Edith, where's supper, huh ?

"Hey, Edith, where's supper, huh ?"

All in the Family

All set, Archie.

"All set, Archie."

All in the Family

He always eats better when he's upset.

"He always eats better when he's upset."

All in the Family

Well, I eat better when he's not upset.

"Well, I eat better when he's not upset."

All in the Family

So, just this once, could we have a meal without an argument ? Michael ?

"So, just this once, could we have a meal without an argument ? Michael ?"

All in the Family

Oh, we're gonna have a floor show, huh ?

"Oh, we're gonna have a floor show, huh ?"

All in the Family

Come on, daddy.

"Come on, daddy."

All in the Family

No arguments, okay ? Who's arguing ?

"No arguments, okay ? Who's arguing ?"

All in the Family

I don't think that's an answer.

"I don't think that's an answer."

All in the Family

Oh, this dingbat's gonna start argument number one over here.

"Oh, this dingbat's gonna start argument number one over here."

All in the Family

Daddy, mom, could you settle down ? Now, let's just eat.

"Daddy, mom, could you settle down ? Now, let's just eat."

All in the Family

♪ [ Mike humming ]

"♪ [ Mike humming ]"

All in the Family

♪ [ Stops ]

"♪ [ Stops ]"

All in the Family

♪ [ Resumes, finishes ]

"♪ [ Resumes, finishes ]"

All in the Family

[ Sighs ] Mom, anything interesting happen to you today ?

"[ Sighs ] Mom, anything interesting happen to you today ?"

All in the Family

Actually, something interesting did happen today.

"Actually, something interesting did happen today."

All in the Family

Oh, no, that was yesterday.

"Oh, no, that was yesterday."

All in the Family

It's the meat. It's not done enough.

"It's the meat. It's not done enough."

All in the Family

You knew that all the time ? I made it medium just this once.

"You knew that all the time ? I made it medium just this once."

All in the Family

I don't like it medium. I like it well.

"I don't like it medium. I like it well."

All in the Family

Well well.

"Well well."

All in the Family

Peg bracken ? Ain't that the dame who don't even like to cook ?

"Peg bracken ? Ain't that the dame who don't even like to cook ?"

All in the Family

And she says well spoils the flavor.

"And she says well spoils the flavor."

All in the Family

It seals it in, that's what it does.

"It seals it in, that's what it does."

All in the Family

Any gourmet will tell you, the only way to eat meat is rare.

"Any gourmet will tell you, the only way to eat meat is rare."

All in the Family

No, it ain't, 'cause I'm gonna take my dessert over here in my chair.

"No, it ain't, 'cause I'm gonna take my dessert over here in my chair."

All in the Family

What do we got, rice puddin' ?

"What do we got, rice puddin' ?"

All in the Family

Give me some with a pinch of milk on top.

"Give me some with a pinch of milk on top."

All in the Family

"Give me some with a pinch of milk on top." [ Giggles ]

""Give me some with a pinch of milk on top." [ Giggles ]"

All in the Family

sometimes two and three times a week,

"sometimes two and three times a week,"

All in the Family

"Give it to me with a little pinch of milk on top."

""Give it to me with a little pinch of milk on top.""

All in the Family

Except last week, remember ? Mike and Gloria went out to dinner.

"Except last week, remember ? Mike and Gloria went out to dinner."

All in the Family

You made rice puddin', and what happened ?

"You made rice puddin', and what happened ?"

All in the Family

You didn't make your usual speech about the milk on top.

"You didn't make your usual speech about the milk on top."

All in the Family

I remember.

"I remember."

All in the Family

- And how did you serve it ? - Without the milk on top.

"- And how did you serve it ? - Without the milk on top."

All in the Family

Dingbat.

"Dingbat."

All in the Family

But he didn't ask for it.

"But he didn't ask for it."

All in the Family

Hey, Archie, you never finished the story about the accident.

"Hey, Archie, you never finished the story about the accident."

All in the Family

Well, the story is, very simply, that...

"Well, the story is, very simply, that..."

All in the Family

A certain Mrs. rhoda greenspan...

"A certain Mrs. rhoda greenspan..."

All in the Family

Plowed into the back of my cab.

"Plowed into the back of my cab."

All in the Family

They're all the same, them people.

"They're all the same, them people."

All in the Family

Here. Here's your rice pudding.

"Here. Here's your rice pudding."

All in the Family

I put a pinch of milk on top.

"I put a pinch of milk on top."

All in the Family

Gee, that's a good idea.

"Gee, that's a good idea."

All in the Family

My insides is on fire.

"My insides is on fire."

All in the Family

What do you mean, "they're all the same, them people ?" What people ?

"What do you mean, "they're all the same, them people ?" What people ?"

All in the Family

They coulda heard her all the way to Tel Aviv.

"They coulda heard her all the way to Tel Aviv."

All in the Family

Here's your bicarb. Oh, yeah.

"Here's your bicarb. Oh, yeah."

All in the Family

tomorrow, maybe the next day. Seven, eight,

"tomorrow, maybe the next day. Seven, eight,"

All in the Family

probably cost an arm and a leg. Nine, ten,

"probably cost an arm and a leg. Nine, ten,"

All in the Family

you pay $6.00 an hour for labor. 13, 14, 15, 16,

"you pay $6.00 an hour for labor. 13, 14, 15, 16,"

All in the Family

most of the time they're at the soft drink machine or the can.

"most of the time they're at the soft drink machine or the can."

All in the Family

17, 18, 19, 20, 21-- what are you doin' ?

"17, 18, 19, 20, 21-- what are you doin' ?"

All in the Family

[ Burps ]

"[ Burps ]"

All in the Family

All right, wise guy, so I'm dependable.

"All right, wise guy, so I'm dependable."

All in the Family

We were discussing one of your favorite hang-ups-- your anti-Jewish bias.

"We were discussing one of your favorite hang-ups-- your anti-Jewish bias."

All in the Family

What anti-Jewish bias ?

"What anti-Jewish bias ?"

All in the Family

Oh, no, daddy. Not that again.

"Oh, no, daddy. Not that again."

All in the Family

Remember, even Jesus was a Jew.

"Remember, even Jesus was a Jew."

All in the Family

Yeah, but only on his mother's side.

"Yeah, but only on his mother's side."

All in the Family

[ Doorbell rings ]

"[ Doorbell rings ]"

All in the Family

No, thanks. I've already eaten.

"No, thanks. I've already eaten."

All in the Family

Say, I was just over to Mr. munson's.

"Say, I was just over to Mr. munson's."

All in the Family

I understand you used his cab today and put a small dent in it.

"I understand you used his cab today and put a small dent in it."

All in the Family

I put ? Small dent ?

"I put ? Small dent ?"

All in the Family

I thought you said she plowed right into you-- wham !

"I thought you said she plowed right into you-- wham !"

All in the Family

I just came from there. It's right out front. It's just a little dent.

"I just came from there. It's right out front. It's just a little dent."

All in the Family

A little dent ? And you were making a federal case out of it.

"A little dent ? And you were making a federal case out of it."

All in the Family

Listen, she hit me hard.

"Listen, she hit me hard."

All in the Family

Good thing I wasn't drivin' one of them foreign jobs.

"Good thing I wasn't drivin' one of them foreign jobs."

All in the Family

I'd be pushin' up the daisies now.

"I'd be pushin' up the daisies now."

All in the Family

What were you doin' at munson's ?

"What were you doin' at munson's ?"

All in the Family

Come to think of it, what are you doin' here ?

"Come to think of it, what are you doin' here ?"

All in the Family

Posin' as a body-and-Fender expert ?

"Posin' as a body-and-Fender expert ?"

All in the Family

I was just makin' my rounds, pickin' up the cleaning.

"I was just makin' my rounds, pickin' up the cleaning."

All in the Family

Lionel's folks have opened up a cleaning store on northern boulevard.

"Lionel's folks have opened up a cleaning store on northern boulevard."

All in the Family

I thought we'd give 'em all our business.

"I thought we'd give 'em all our business."

All in the Family

You mean, your old man ain't the janitor at the hempstead apts. No more ?

"You mean, your old man ain't the janitor at the hempstead apts. No more ?"

All in the Family

That's right.

"That's right."

All in the Family

- When was that ? - When mom and dad got rear-ended by the bus.

"- When was that ? - When mom and dad got rear-ended by the bus."

All in the Family

After they paid for the lawyer, they had $3,200 left over.

"After they paid for the lawyer, they had $3,200 left over."

All in the Family

So they bought this franchise. And they're doin' real well too, Mr. bunker.

"So they bought this franchise. And they're doin' real well too, Mr. bunker."

All in the Family

You know, last week they grossed over $1,000.

"You know, last week they grossed over $1,000."

All in the Family

And next week they should do 1,500, easy.

"And next week they should do 1,500, easy."

All in the Family

Here you are, Lionel. Have everything cleaned and pressed, okay ?

"Here you are, Lionel. Have everything cleaned and pressed, okay ?"

All in the Family

See ya, Lionel. Bye, Lionel.

"See ya, Lionel. Bye, Lionel."

All in the Family

Oh, my, wasn't that a lucky break for Lionel's folks ?

"Oh, my, wasn't that a lucky break for Lionel's folks ?"

All in the Family

I think it's just wonderful. It's like a whole new life opened up for 'em.

"I think it's just wonderful. It's like a whole new life opened up for 'em."

All in the Family

[ Mike ] His father says they're doin' so well, they may open another store.

"[ Mike ] His father says they're doin' so well, they may open another store."

All in the Family

Oww ! Jeez !

"Oww ! Jeez !"

All in the Family

What's the matter ? What happened ? Archie.

"What's the matter ? What happened ? Archie."

All in the Family

What a pain in the back !

"What a pain in the back !"

All in the Family

Stay away from me. Don't touch me, nobody.

"Stay away from me. Don't touch me, nobody."

All in the Family

Just let me see if I can walk all alone. Look out.

"Just let me see if I can walk all alone. Look out."

All in the Family

Ooh, Edith ! Ohh ! Oh, Archie !

"Ooh, Edith ! Ohh ! Oh, Archie !"

All in the Family

Shut up, meathead.

"Shut up, meathead."

All in the Family

Edith, help me to the chair, will ya.

"Edith, help me to the chair, will ya."

All in the Family

[ Groans ] Oh. Oh, gee, Edith.

"[ Groans ] Oh. Oh, gee, Edith."

All in the Family

Oh !

"Oh !"

All in the Family

Uh, wh-what was that you said about, uh... whiplash ?

"Uh, wh-what was that you said about, uh... whiplash ?"

All in the Family

If you hurt your back.

"If you hurt your back."

All in the Family

It was at the bottom of a page.

"It was at the bottom of a page."

All in the Family

Oh, Archie, don't talk like that.

"Oh, Archie, don't talk like that."

All in the Family

Yeah, what about a doctor, daddy ?

"Yeah, what about a doctor, daddy ?"

All in the Family

We'll see a lawyer first. He'll tell us what doctor to go to.

"We'll see a lawyer first. He'll tell us what doctor to go to."

All in the Family

They got specialists for all these things.

"They got specialists for all these things."

All in the Family

What about Fred kowalcyzk, my brother-in-law ? He's a lawyer.

"What about Fred kowalcyzk, my brother-in-law ? He's a lawyer."

All in the Family

Kowalcyzk. No, that don't sound good.

"Kowalcyzk. No, that don't sound good."

All in the Family

He handles accidents. Peter gurney ? No, no, no.

"He handles accidents. Peter gurney ? No, no, no."

All in the Family

Listen, get me the yellow pages.

"Listen, get me the yellow pages."

All in the Family

Why not somebody you know ? Why a stranger ?

"Why not somebody you know ? Why a stranger ?"

All in the Family

Because sometimes strangers is best.

"Because sometimes strangers is best."

All in the Family

They don't get too close to you. You know what I mean.

"They don't get too close to you. You know what I mean."

All in the Family

Cut that out, Edith !

"Cut that out, Edith !"

All in the Family

Let's see here.

"Let's see here."

All in the Family

Where should I start, at the beginning ?

"Where should I start, at the beginning ?"

All in the Family

No, start at the middle and read out sideways.

"No, start at the middle and read out sideways."

All in the Family

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