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Clips from Seinfeld - The Chinese Woman (S06E06)

"What? What?"
Seinfeld
"Don't you see what's going on here?"
Seinfeld
"Surprisingly, no."
Seinfeld
"I'm free. I'm unfettered."
Seinfeld
"I feel like a naked, innocent boy roaming the countryside."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, well, we're trying, but he just went insane there for a while."
Seinfeld
"He went insane?"
Seinfeld
"Believe it or not..."
Seinfeld
"...Paul was convinced I was having an affair..."
Seinfeld
"...because somebody kept calling and hanging up when he answered."
Seinfeld
"What kind of a sick person calls and hangs up over and over?"
Seinfeld
"Well..."
Seinfeld
"...who didn't wanna talk to whoever was answering..."
Seinfeld
"...because whoever was answering was always making boring chit-chat..."
Seinfeld
"...and was completely oblivious to the fact..."
Seinfeld
"...that the person who was calling didn't wanna speak to them."
Seinfeld
"I'm really sorry, Noreen."
Seinfeld
"So you thought he was boring?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, Noreen, don't go by me."
Seinfeld
"This is the second relationship you've ruined for her in a few weeks."
Seinfeld
"They sound exactly the same."
Seinfeld
"So she breaks up with him."
Seinfeld
"Somehow picks up the pieces of her life..."
Seinfeld
"...miraculously meets a new guy."
Seinfeld
"And then just as they're reconciling, you announce to the world..."
Seinfeld
"...he's boring."
Seinfeld
"I didn't know she'd take it so seriously."
Seinfeld
"Apparently, you have a tremendous influence over this woman."
Seinfeld
"Anything you say, she does."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? - It's Donna Chang."
Seinfeld
"- Come up. - I guess I just didn't realize it."
Seinfeld
"Well, let's look back at your history with this woman."
Seinfeld
"- Okay? - Okay."
Seinfeld
"First, you encouraged her to join the Army."
Seinfeld
"She did."
Seinfeld
"She did."
Seinfeld
"She didn't seem to be having so much fun."
Seinfeld
"Make sure you never tell this woman to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge."
Seinfeld
"- This is Elaine. - Hello."
Seinfeld
"Guess what? Mrs. Costanza called me."
Seinfeld
"- They're not getting divorced. - Why, what happened?"
Seinfeld
"She was trying to call George last night, she got me..."
Seinfeld
"...we spoke an hour, and changed her mind."
Seinfeld
"- Wow, that's amazing. - Anyway, she wants to meet me."
Seinfeld
"She invited me for dinner. Said you should come too."
Seinfeld
"All right, let me just say one thing."
Seinfeld
"Because if you think I'm going to two Thanksgivings..."
Seinfeld
"...you're out of your mind!"
Seinfeld
"- We're not getting divorced. - Your mother changed her mind."
Seinfeld
"- I'm very glad to hear that. - Yeah. We worked it out."
Seinfeld
"All right, let me ask a question. Who was the man in the cape?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. So what?"
Seinfeld
"- Who wears a cape? - He's very independent."
Seinfeld
"You have no eye for fashion!"
Seinfeld
"- All right, all right. - All right."
Seinfeld
"So, what made you change your mind?"
Seinfeld
"It was that Chinese woman."
Seinfeld
"What did you tell Mrs. Costanza that changed her mind?"
Seinfeld
"Mentioned a few bits of wisdom from Confucius."
Seinfeld
"Hey, I heard the good news."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, how come you didn't say hello to me the other day?"
Seinfeld
"You must be Estelle."
Seinfeld
"- Yes. Who are you? - I'm Donna Chang."
Seinfeld
"You're not Chinese."
Seinfeld
"Hello?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah!"
Seinfeld
"- What are you doing there? - Well, isn't it obvious?"
Seinfeld
"- Is Noreen there? - Yes, she is."
Seinfeld
"Well, can I talk to her?"
Seinfeld
"All right. Would you just put her on?"
Seinfeld
"- You feel? - That's right."
Seinfeld
"She and I have had a very long talk."
Seinfeld
"And I was appalled to learn of the destructive influence..."
Seinfeld
"...you've had over her life lo these many years."
Seinfeld
"And what are you gonna tell her?"
Seinfeld
"There she'll get the structure and discipline she needs right now."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, you have got to let me talk to her."
Seinfeld
"Can't help you, kid."
Seinfeld
"Long Island?"
Seinfeld
"I thought I was getting advice from a Chinese woman."
Seinfeld
"- I'm sorry. - Well, then..."
Seinfeld
"- ... that changes everything. - What?"
Seinfeld
"So what? She still gave you advice. What's the difference?"
Seinfeld
"I'm not taking advice from some girl from Long Island."
Seinfeld
"You want a divorce? You got one!"
Seinfeld
"You know, you might wanna think about changing your name."
Seinfeld
"Ever since she started dating Kramer, she won't talk to me."
Seinfeld
"Noreen listened to you..."
Seinfeld
"...like George's mother listens to the Chinese."
Seinfeld
"Everybody listens to the Chinese. Look at the fortune cookie."
Seinfeld
"Saw both of them today. What a disaster."
Seinfeld
"I'm running all over Queens."
Seinfeld
"First, I saw my mother. We had lunch together."
Seinfeld
"I never had lunch with my mother before. It's like a date."
Seinfeld
"We played Clue."
Seinfeld
"All day with this!"
Seinfeld
"The Kramer name might live on!"
Seinfeld
"Because if you think about it, they've seen the fork by now."
Seinfeld
"Good shave today."
Seinfeld
"I believe he is wearing a cape."
Seinfeld
"Let me call him back."
Seinfeld
"Hello?"
Seinfeld
"Should've talked. I love Chinese women."
Seinfeld
"Oh, is this Donna Chang again?"
Seinfeld
"Well, how many sperm should I have?"
Seinfeld
"A lot."
Seinfeld
"You ever get a woman pregnant?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, but then I'd have to- Well, you know..."
Seinfeld
"What, does that conflict with your regular schedule?"
Seinfeld
"Yes, I would like to very much."
Seinfeld
"I'm low, aren't I? I can feel it."
Seinfeld
"And there's nothing holding me in place. I'm flipping, I'm flopping."
Seinfeld
"You know what I like about Manhattan?"
Seinfeld
"I thought you said..."
Seinfeld
"Hey, what are you doing here?"
Seinfeld
"Did I?"
Seinfeld
"Hi. How are you?"
Seinfeld
"- I have no eye for fashion? - All right."
Seinfeld
"Georgie's right."
Seinfeld
"You know, you're not Chinese."
Seinfeld
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