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Clips from Malcolm in the Middle - The Bots and the Bees (S01E01)

"(game activates)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"* You're not the boss of me now *"
Malcolm in the Middle
"What if we get caught?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I cued it up to the best part."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, my God! Is that real?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"People build killer robots"
Malcolm in the Middle
"and see which one comes out alive."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Killer robots?!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"We want to enter the competition."
Malcolm in the Middle
"That's my house!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"those things look really expensive."
Malcolm in the Middle
"No problem."
Malcolm in the Middle
"daddy?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, I need you to call work"
Malcolm in the Middle
"What's that all about?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"A little something to remember me by."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(baby voice): I think I can manage"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You feeling okay?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I feel like I have a belly full of broken glass."
Malcolm in the Middle
"This is the single greatest thing"
Malcolm in the Middle
"that has ever happened to me."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I've never been able to fight back"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Her firstborn child"
Malcolm in the Middle
"you almost died."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Okay, Mom's only going to be gone"
Malcolm in the Middle
"for about four or five days, so we have to prioritize."
Malcolm in the Middle
"What are you asking Dad for?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I should go first."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Because anything"
Malcolm in the Middle
"after "killer robot" is going to sound reasonable."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Dad?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Sounds great."
Malcolm in the Middle
"So, um..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"you think it'd be all right"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Yeah, fine."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Whoa, that was easy, even for him!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"For crying out loud."
Malcolm in the Middle
"She just went down to Alabama"
Malcolm in the Middle
"to look after him for awhile."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I can't believe my mom missed them"
Malcolm in the Middle
"No one's that bad."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hey, I've been sugar-coating it for you"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Mom..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Well, I stopped by to pick up your boy's homework."
Malcolm in the Middle
"something that never would've happened"
Malcolm in the Middle
"if you'd taken proper care of him in the first place."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You listen to me, you idiot!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"My child is sick."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(heavy sigh)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Mmm."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(sighs)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"As soon as I get home, I'm gonna marry her."
Malcolm in the Middle
"and the robot's translational displacement"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Well, what about my design for"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Beautiful yet deadly."
Malcolm in the Middle
"It's too unreliable."
Malcolm in the Middle
"What's this stuff?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"fooling around with some ideas."
Malcolm in the Middle
"That would destroy everything within a ten-foot perimeter."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Of course, there's a lot to be said"
Malcolm in the Middle
"that our parents strongly disapprove of this."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Wow."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Your father's lack of responsibility"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You know, this room isn't so bad."
Malcolm in the Middle
"a couple of cots and a drain in the floor."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(groans)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Mom, did you know that I almost died?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"They had to vacuum out the contents of my intestines."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You could not possibly comprehend"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Yeah. I don't know anything about pain..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"you being half of that, I might add."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm sorry that I came out feet first, Mom."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(grunts)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"It took me five years to get your father to burn his off."
Malcolm in the Middle
"What, are you growing potatoes in there?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Actually thought I'd be flattered by it."
Malcolm in the Middle
"and the drinking and the fighting..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I spent years hounding him and scolding him"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I can't believe Dad had a wild side."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Dad?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Dad?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"We are now officially desensitized to violence."
Malcolm in the Middle
"How many sodas have you had?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Look, I can write on my tongue."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(knocking on door)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"has commandeered this project"
Malcolm in the Middle
"(humming upbeat tune)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Listen, don't tell your mom, okay?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hey, picture this."
Malcolm in the Middle
"How would that hurt a robot?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"It's for the guy controlling the robot."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(laughs)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"or whatever crappy award they give you for winning."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(howls)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"(howls)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Come on, come on, do it for Mama."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Rubbing it in!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"This isn't my mom."
Malcolm in the Middle
"It's an act."
Malcolm in the Middle
"It's some kind of freaky mind game she's playing with me."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Exactly!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Mom being gone was fun at first"
Malcolm in the Middle
"(telephone rings)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"(flat): Oh. Hi, Mr. Jackson."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Well, yes"
Malcolm in the Middle
"somehow I felt that eight hours of joyless, mind-numbing crap"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I guess we're just going"
Malcolm in the Middle
"We're in the middle of Alabama."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Look, it isn't really what I want to do."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Please be Mom."
Malcolm in the Middle
"to tackle something like this on an empty stomach?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"What do we have here?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"What the hell is that thing?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"A secret, deadly project."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Why don't you stop telling me what to do?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Look, fats..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hey, you don't go to the fat thing"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I won't go to the crazy thing."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Dad, cut it out!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"We can stop this right now with a little dignity"
Malcolm in the Middle
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