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Clips from The Office - The Merger (S03E03)

"Likes, dislikes, favorite sports, favorite movies, favorite men's magazines."
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"Good luck over there, Tuna. Cross me and I will destroy you."
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"Sounds good, Andy."
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"All right, I'm out of here."
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"About seven."
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"I'm somewhere between a snake and a mongoose."
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"And a panther."
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"Oh, I'll just time him later."
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"Am I being mean to Dwight?"
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"and I have no intention of timing him."
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"You gotta pick it up if you're gonna beat Toby!"
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"Possibly Filipina. Okay..."
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"I always wondered how they chose the man who was to die."
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"a much older man who's way out of your league."
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"and to see my old friend again, definitely."
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"to have an old friend back."
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"If there are any left over, you can buy one later."
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"How? Name repetition, personality mirroring,"
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"And you must be Michael Scott. Aloha and hello."
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"Very good. Welcome to our little kingdom."
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"We have a bag of nifty gifties for you."
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"Well, Michael, thank you for welcoming me to your little kingdom. Mike."
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"Follow me, I will show you where all the slaves work."
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"I know, I don't care."
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"Always have been friends. That is where we stand."
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"What are you doing? I don't know what you're talking about."
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"Hey, buddy. Welcome back. Hey."
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"You know, man, it's really your call. Cool, thank you."
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"Yeah, Jim is a nice guy. That's why I got the desk."
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"So you'll be reporting to me, then."
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"On the contrary."
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"My title has "manager" in it. And I'm a director."
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"Hey, Toby."
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"How are you? Hey, welcome back."
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"Oh, is that, like, your new thing, or..."
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"No, that's cool. No, it's nothing, we'll just..."
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"All right. Sorry about that. No problem."
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"I told you the titles are irrelevant. They just relate to pay scale."
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"Okay, everybody settled in? Good."
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"Strictly taboo. I eat beef."
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"You might want these orientation materials."
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"Okay, do not worry. All of your questions are about to be answered."
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"Oh, this looks promising. You won't be disappointed."
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"so I have made an orientation video especially for you newcomers."
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"It's got a little bit of a zing to it."
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"Sittin' in my office With a plate of grilled bacon"
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"So check out how we live In the Electric City!"
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"Call Poison Control if you're bit by a spider!"
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"Plenty of space in the parkin' lot!"
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"This is Karen a-Filippelli, please leave-a me the message."
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"Do you mean, to me from you?"
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"Sure thing, buddy."
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"Because the angrier he gets, the more marginalized he becomes."
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"Hey, Angela. Check this out."
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"It's my new screensaver."
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"Oh, yeah, I'm trying to move away from that."
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"Getting into more of a bottled water phase."
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"I should probably get back to work."
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"What is that, a squid's eye, or..."
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"It smells like a funeral home."
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"You know what, never mind. What is it?"
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"Bob Vance bought this perfume for me in metropolitan Orlando."
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"A great show."
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"united in applause."
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"Okay, there's supposed to be music, and it's..."
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"Probably because of all the nose candy."
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"I told you these guys had a sense of humor."
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"Shouldn't we be equals?"
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"Okay?"
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"I'm under this. I'm under this hock here."
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"I don't know what I'm grabbing here! All right, all right! Stop!"
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"Wait, wait, wait, okay, okay, okay. Easy. Hey, easy."
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"Was it Toby? Did he say something? 'Cause he's..."
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"It's just your management style."
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"Was it supposed to be funny?"
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"Don't bother quitting, because you're fired."
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"Don't try to apologize to me, man. It's too late! Just get out!"
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"Remember, I'm the one who suggested that you fire him!"
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"Would none be an accurate estimate? None advice?"
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"Fire Andy."
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"Fire Andy."
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"like their own private Hooters strip club."
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"Back to work. We don't have to get along. We just have to work together."
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"Yeah! Yeah?"
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"You are playing right into their hands. This is just what they want you to do!"
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"They're like a bunch of fourth graders."
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"Sometimes what brings the kids together is hating the lunch lady."
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"(MOBILE PHONE RINGING)"
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"Jell-O. Hi, Jan. JAN: Michael!"
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"But do you realize that that was actually Dwight's idea?"
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"So who will be your new number three?"
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"That I have not decided yet."
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"Michael, I would just like to say that you have handled"
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"this entire situation with great aplomb."
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"KAREN: I'm at the grocery store buying a corkscrew to give myself a lobotomy."
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"Xterra's not even a real word."
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"Actually, it is, it's Latin for "earth.""
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"Oh, so you drive an X-earth? Yeah, that makes sense."
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"Nobody came."
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"If you were driving a Trans Am,"
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"you'd be the smartest idiot in the whole world."
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"(COUGHING) You're the idiot."
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"(COUGHING) Nice comeback."
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"I totally got the best of that interchange."
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"JOSH: The Stamford branch is closing, and everybody's just packing up their stuff."
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"Andy Bernard made these tasteful hats."
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"That's the other thing you have to watch out... Yo, Tuna."
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"Yeah? So what's he like?"
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"You know what? I think you just need to meet him."
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"Playing your cards close to the vest. I get it."
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"This is gonna be an adventure. Yes, this is going to be very interesting."
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"See you later? Bro."
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"Hey, is that Josh's computer? What?"
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"PAM: Hey! Hey!"
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"How'd the run go? Pretty good. I finished."
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"That's great. Yes."
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"Why is that great?"
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"What was your mile time?"
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"Yeah, well, my feet don't, and I can still crush that time."
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"Really, Dwight? How fast are you?"
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