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Clips from The Office - The Merger (S03E03)

"Really?"
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"I am fast."
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"To give you a reference point,"
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"Man, what is taking Toby so long?"
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"And you'll compare the times? Yeah."
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"Are you ready? Set, go! No, my groin's really tight, I can't..."
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"I don't know. I did just make him run around the building,"
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"This isn't even a stopwatch. It's a digital thermometer."
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"He does make my life harder sometimes, and on purpose."
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"as a way of bringing in more money for the company."
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"Hey, three more laps to go!"
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"(GRUNTING)"
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"I should probably get back to work."
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"Here. Who's here? Nametag?"
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"Yes, please. Karen Filippelli."
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"Karen..."
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"Karen a-Filippelli! Probably Italian."
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"because I have a gigantic performance ahead of me,"
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"and I have to get into my head and focus."
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"Who's next? That's Andy Bernard."
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"Andy Bernard."
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"...I would fire Anthony Gardner... What?"
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"...before noon... I'm not..."
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"...to consolidate power. I'm not firing somebody on the first day."
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"I think I would have been good at choosing the person."
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"Good morning! Got the food, good!"
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"Looky, looky, looky. What I want you to do..."
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"Set it up in the conference room, please. Make it look nice,"
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"as if you were trying to impress"
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"Okay."
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"Yes, I'm in a good mood today. I'm excited to meet all of the new people"
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"That's always a thing that makes people happy,"
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"HANNAH: Hello?"
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"Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Our first arrival."
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"This is Hannah Smoterich-Barr! Hannah Smoterich-Barr!"
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"Welcome to our humble abode. Follow me to your desk."
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"Your ball-and-chain is right over here."
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"So, as far as I'm concerned, this says, "World's Best Dad.""
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"There he is!"
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"Gardner! I knew that."
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"There you go, gift bag for you. Okay! Thanks."
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"Michael, I didn't get a gift bag."
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"Well, they're just for guests."
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"My bag's mostly pencils."
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"Well, and coupons to various hot spots around Scranton. All right!"
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"Let me show you to your area, sir."
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"MICHAEL: Come on, big guy."
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"Can I have your pencils? No."
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"Hi! Hi."
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"I'm Pam. Karen. I love your sweater."
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"Oh, thanks. My mom made it for me."
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"Really? That's so cool. I've always wanted to learn"
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"Wait, are you a robot or a Martian?"
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"I am actually your boss, Michael Scott."
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"Hi. Welcome."
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"and never breaking off a handshake."
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"I'm always thinking one step ahead,"
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"like a carpenter that makes stairs."
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"Nifty! They are nifty!"
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"They're nifty gifties."
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"...which is why they need a passing game. Right?"
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"Good to see you, man! Wow, okay!"
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"Not... So your desk is..."
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"Hi, I'm Jim. I'm new here. Oh, my God, it's really you!"
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"I was just doing a little joke there about how we'd never met."
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"Awesome! Good to be back."
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"It's really good to see you. You, too."
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"No idea. I mean, we're friends."
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"DWIGHT: Well, well, well."
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"Look what the cat dragged in from Stamford."
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"I am older. I am wiser. Do not mess with me."
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"Okay, sounds good."
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"Why are you looking at my forehead? I'm not."
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"Meet my eye line, Jim! I am."
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"So..."
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"Oh, I'm sorry, are you sitting here now?"
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"Yeah."
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"Got it?"
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"Michael Scott, thank you. I appreciate it, Mike."
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"MICHAEL: All right."
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"Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager."
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"Andy Bernard, Regional Director in Charge of Sales."
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"Which, on a film set, is the highest title there is."
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"Do you know anything about film?"
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"I know everything about film. I've seen over 240 of them."
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"Congratulations."
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"Hey, Jim. How are you, man?"
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"Oh, really good! I just wanted to say hi."
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"No, I'm sorry, that's..."
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"All right. Good to be back. So..."
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"Okay. All right."
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"It was... What?"
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"Nothing."
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""I present the orientation video.""
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"We need to talk. Not now."
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"Which is higher, Assistant Regional Manager,"
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"or Regional Director in Charge of Sales?"
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"It is not a matter of more or less. Your pay is just different, okay?"
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"All right! Showtime, part one."
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"Okay, who reports to who?"
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"I don't care, Dwight! You all report to me. That's all that matters!"
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"The rest of it just work out amongst yourselves, okay?"
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"And then if I want... Work it out amongst yourselves, please!"
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"I have a company to run. Will you let me run the company?"
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"I... One... Will you? Please?"
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"KELLY: Jim! Kelly!"
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"Oh, my God, I have so much to tell you! Really?"
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"Yes. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, they had a baby and they named it Suri,"
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"and then Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie,"
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"they had a baby, too, and they named it Shiloh."
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"And both babies are amazing!"
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"Great. What's new with you?"
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"I just told you."
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"Why don't we all proceed into the conference room,"
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"or should I say the banquet hall?"
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"For... Drum roll, please."
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"MICHAEL: Don't be shy."
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"Hey, champagne. No, no, guests only."
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"Smoked salmon! No, for the guests it is,"
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"Well, then, consider it poisoned beef."
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