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Clips from The Flintstones - The Split Personality (S01E01)

"Not too big a piece, Fred. You haven't any to spare."
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"Haven't any to spare. How droll."
The Flintstones
"How very droll."
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"The doohickey's connected to the franaspan."
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"Hello, Fred. What happened? Did you get caught in traffic?"
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"- What's the matter, Fred? - Barney, you and I are through."
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"Don't ever speak to me again. We are finished."
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"- My power tools, too? - Yes, your power tools, too."
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"You never returned my power tools before."
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"There it is."
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"And you won't either, 'cause I'm gonna drink it myself."
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"No, Fred. No, wait, Fred."
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"There, icebox raider. It's empty."
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"Fred, may I ask one question?"
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"Okay, but you better make it a good one..."
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"Okay, Fred. Why did you drink my car polish?"
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"- Do something, Barney! - I'll get a chamois."
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"- Don't just stand there, do something! - Like what, Fred?"
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"Like get a pump. Call a doctor. Get a mechanic."
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"How should I know? But do something."
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"Fred, you all right?"
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"Betty. Come out here, quick."
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"- I can't, I'm in the shower. - Turn it off. It's an emergency."
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"All right. Hold it, Trixie."
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"What happened to Fred?"
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"I know it sounds stupid..."
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"but Fred hit himself on the head with a bottle. He knocked himself cold."
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"Oh, dear. I'd hate to tell that story to Wilma."
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"What do you mean, Betty?"
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"I mean, think how embarrassed Fred would feel if Wilma found out."
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"Well, that's like sneaking an elephant into a telephone booth."
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"Anyway, let's give it a try."
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"Let's stop a minute while I catch my breath."
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"- Let's lean him up against the door. - Okay."
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"Oh, boy! He's a load to lug around."
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"We brought Fred home."
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"- What happened? - It could happen to anyone."
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"Yeah, Fred hit himself on the head with a bottle."
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"Hit himself on the head with a bottle?"
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"Get him into bed, Barney. I'll call a doctor."
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"Gee, Fred's been out a long time. I wish the doctor would get here."
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"When I called, he said he'd be right over."
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"That's him now. Come in, Doctor."
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"I'm just in time."
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"My, you don't look good at all, not at all."
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"See, now what did I tell you? Loosen your shirt, we may have to tap."
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"- Is it serious, Doc? - Don't worry about it, son."
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"I never lost a patient yet."
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"Some don't get better, but I always know where they are."
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"- Doctor. - Yes?"
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"That's not the patient."
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"Oh, my. That's too bad. You could use some help."
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"But let's get on with it."
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"- stick out your tongue. - Are you kidding? I'm not sick."
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"We doctors are so busy. Seems everybody is sick."
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"There you are, my dear."
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"- Where does it hurt? - I'm not sick either."
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"I must insist upon quiet."
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"- This man is trying to get some rest. - That's the patient!"
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"That's the..."
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"I can't diagnose when you don't tell the doctor everything."
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"He got hit on the head with a bottle."
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"A bottle?"
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"You shouldn't hit him with a bottle. A rolling pin, yes, maybe, but not a bottle."
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"- Can you hear me, Doctor? - Yes, very clearly."
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"- Yes, indeed. - Okay..."
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"Now hear this. Get lost!"
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"I always wanted to have a human patient just once."
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"But that's it. So it's back to my horses for me."
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"I must've gotten the wrong list of doctors."
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"I don't know. Fred eats like a horse."
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"He's coming out of it. Fred, wake up."
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"You feeling better? Speak to me."
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"Fred, you want a hamburger?"
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"It's a good thing you didn't say pizza pie. He would've gone through the ceiling."
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"Are you feeling okay, Freddie-boy?"
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"Certainly, Bernard, my esteemed neighbor."
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"Bernard? Are you all right, Freddie?"
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"It's undignified. My name is Frederick."
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"- What's wrong with him, Wilma? - I don't know."
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"But he'll snap out of it in a minute."
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"There's my sweet, adorable wife..."
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"Iooking charming as usual."
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"Are you kidding?"
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"And there's Elizabeth, Bernard's wife..."
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"a vision of loveliness..."
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"a delight to the eye."
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"Yeah, he's all right. He knows me, too."
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"Let's go home, Betty. A good night's sleep will straighten him out."
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"Okay. Good night, Wilma."
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"Toodle-oo, Frederick, you old dear."
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"Why, Barney? Because he called me a vision of loveliness?"
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"What's your opinion, Barney?"
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"Never mind regular guys, what's your opinion?"
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"Tell me what you think of me, Barney."
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"- Betty, please. - Say it, Barney."
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"All right. You are a vision of loveliness."
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"Allow me, Wilma."
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"You're going to spoil me."
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"You've been so attentive the last few weeks."
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"Nothing will ever spoil my little turtledove."
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"You just rest, my dear."
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"whilst I finish doing the dishes?"
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"Thanks, Frederick. You're a dear."
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"I could use some new dresses and a fur coat."
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"Good evening, friends."
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"This is your Mystery Hour..."
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"brought to you by..."
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"Barney!"
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"What's the matter with you?"
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"Is this any way to leave the towel?"
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"You just wet your hands and wiped the dirt off on it."
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"Why can't you be neat and clean like Frederick..."
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"and hang up your things? All I do is pick up after you."
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"Why, I even found one of your ties with soup spots on it..."
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"stuffed in the flower vase."
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"Frederick wouldn't do a thing like that."
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"Why can't you be more like him?"
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"Now, don't say so unless you mean it."
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"Do you really like it, Frederick?"
The Flintstones
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