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Clips from The Flintstones - The Split Personality (S01E01)

"I think it's superb, my dear. Very chic."
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"But, Frederick, it's so expensive."
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"We'll be paying on it for years."
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"I shall walk to work, skip lunches..."
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"make my old clothes do for another five years..."
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"I wonder..."
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"Fellows, it's early. Aren't you gonna shoot another game?"
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"Gosh, Barney, I can't. I got to go home and straighten up my closet."
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"Yeah, and this is my night to polish the silverware."
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"But, fellows, we always play on Tuesday nights. What's the idea?"
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"It's our wives' idea."
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"There's some joker around the neighborhood making it tough for us."
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"Some guy named Frederick."
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"And what would your pleasure be tonight, my dear?"
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"Getting dressed up, going out to dance..."
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"and hoop it up a bit with other people, and come home on the milk truck."
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"You're joking, my dear."
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"Lt'd give me a lift, buster."
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"I know you can't be serious."
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"How about a spelling bee?"
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"How about soaking your head?"
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"I've heard Ode to a Lark so many times I could build a nest and lay eggs."
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"Then we'll have a little opera music."
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"Oh, no."
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"- And what's different about it? - This one has just the music..."
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"which allows me to sing the aria. How about that?"
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"True. But the tonal counterpoint is so pianissimo."
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"Oh, brother."
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"Shall we try it again?"
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"Once more and I'll blow my top."
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"They ought to put a fence around the tar pit."
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"That's not a mastodon. It's Fred singing."
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"Looks like we're in for a siege of opera this week."
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"Opera or spelling bees, either way, we get stung."
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"I say, you are in a pensive mood tonight, my dear."
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"Just looking at some old photos of you, Frederick."
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"Yes, it is."
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"You put on Mrs. Stonehead's hat."
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"You were a riot. Remember?"
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"I'd rather forget."
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"Disgusting. That was my uncouth period."
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"How did you ever stand me, Wilma?"
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"It wasn't too hard. It was kind of fun."
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"You can't go bowling and not ask Fred. I mean Frederick."
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"All right, you've tried. Now go over and ask him."
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"Bowling? I say, that sounds simply monotonous."
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"Yes. Well, a captain should never let his followers down."
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"Lead on, old boy. I shall respond to your plea."
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"Big deal."
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"Fellows, look who's here. It's good old Fred. Where you been, pal?"
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"- Hiya, Fred. - Yeah, long time no see."
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"Come on, Captain, it's your turn to bowl."
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"Please, you are wrinkling my fur."
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""You are wrinkling my fur.""
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"Good old Fred. There's no one like him."
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"- They can say that again. - Gentlemen, please."
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"I only came because I'm the captain."
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"And I want it strictly understood that I shall stand for no insubordination."
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"No insubordination. What a guy!"
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"Okay, Captain."
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"This is a real pro in action."
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"Never mind that Fred stuff. My name is Frederick."
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"They've been looking for Frederick. I'd better get him out of here."
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"But I'm their captain! This is mutiny."
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"And if they catch us, it'll be worse than that."
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"Come on, maybe we can beat them home."
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"Now stay there and don't move till I tell you to come out."
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"Why have you got Frederick under the bed?"
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"Now remember, don't come out from under there."
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"I'm telling you, Wilma, every guy in town is out to get him."
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"They even formed a Get-rid-of-Frederick-or-else club."
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"- Poor Fred. We got to do something. - But what?"
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"Maybe we can sell the house and move out of town."
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"A rap on the head changed him..."
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"At this point, I'll try anything."
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"- Go ahead, Barney, conk him. - Who me? No, not me."
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"- I couldn't hit him. - You hit him, Betty."
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"I can't even spank our dog."
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"- What'll we do? - Say, I got an idea."
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"We can arrange it so he conks himself."
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"- How, Barney? - Come on, I'll show you."
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"Now, you see that rock up there?"
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"Yes, but why is it on top of the door?"
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"Watch."
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"Get it? When Fred opens the door..."
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"The rock lands right on his noggin."
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"I suppose it has to be done..."
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"but is it necessary to use such a hard rock?"
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"Okay, go ahead. But I can't watch."
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"- Frederick. - Yes, Bernard?"
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"Will you come out here and play some opera records for us?"
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"Play some opera records? Why, certainly, Bernard."
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"I think I shall start with a sextet from Lucia."
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"Who's the wise guy?"
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"And what's this stuff, Wilma?"
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"You think I'm made of money?"
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"Barney, aren't we supposed to go bowling tonight?"
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"What are we waiting for?"
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"Right, Fred. Let's go."
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"There he goes with all his faults."
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"- He's still my Fred. - And that's my Barney."
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"And we're stuck with both of them."
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"But we like it. We like it."
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"Wilma!"
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"But it can wait, Wilma."
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"A tall, frosty Cactus Coola."
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"I got to hand it to you, Wilma."
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"You got a great sense of humor."
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"Gee, this is serious."
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"Maybe we can sneak him into his house and put him on his sofa..."
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"That's sissy talk. Regular guys don't talk like that."
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"Frederick, I hate Frederick!"
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"Details, my dear, mere details."
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"Then how about reading Shelley's sonnets to you again?"
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"Some poor mastodon is caught in the tar pit."
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"What are you doing?"
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"Come on, Wilma, open this door!"
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"- That did it. - Boy, did you see that?"
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"I can give it a good, hard try."
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"Poor Wilma."
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