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Clips from NewsRadio - Rose Bowl (S03E03)

Hey, Dave.

"Hey, Dave."

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at some Hollywood movie memorabilia?

"at some Hollywood movie memorabilia?"

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Well, thanks, sir.

"Well, thanks, sir."

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You don't normally give in so easily.

"You don't normally give in so easily."

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Yeah, well, you know, I'm feeling generous

"Yeah, well, you know, I'm feeling generous"

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because I bought a whole box of movie memorabilia

"because I bought a whole box of movie memorabilia"

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Uh-huh. All right.

"Uh-huh. All right."

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Wow, really.

"Wow, really."

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Yeah, I think they used some special effects on them. Yeah?

"Yeah, I think they used some special effects on them. Yeah?"

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Yeah. Uh-huh.

"Yeah. Uh-huh."

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[SINGS TO THE TUNE "HALLELUJAH"] ♪ Sound of Music Sound of Music ♪

"[SINGS TO THE TUNE "HALLELUJAH"] ♪ Sound of Music Sound of Music ♪"

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You remember that?

"You remember that?"

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No, no, no. It's like, uh...

"No, no, no. It's like, uh..."

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Time for the annual employee performance evaluations.

"Time for the annual employee performance evaluations."

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But, you know,

"But, you know,"

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for making constructive and objective criticisms.

"for making constructive and objective criticisms."

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Point taken.

"Point taken."

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Bill, you're doing an excellent job.

"Bill, you're doing an excellent job."

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Oh, okay. I'll elaborate later

"Oh, okay. I'll elaborate later"

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DAVE: Great. Everyone just

"DAVE: Great. Everyone just"

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[GIGGLES]

"[GIGGLES]"

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Yay!

"Yay!"

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and choose again. Darn.

"and choose again. Darn."

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No, no, no.

"No, no, no."

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From the film "Looking For Mrs. Clark Bar."

"From the film "Looking For Mrs. Clark Bar.""

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Well, what about this?

"Well, what about this?"

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No, I will be representing myself.

"No, I will be representing myself."

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Dave? Mm-hm?

"Dave? Mm-hm?"

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Well, tell them

"Well, tell them"

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And you're obsessing over nothing.

"And you're obsessing over nothing."

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You're saying the word "obsessing" an awful lot.

"You're saying the word "obsessing" an awful lot."

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doesn't mean that you're obsessing.

"doesn't mean that you're obsessing."

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I mean, obsessing is like when you...

"I mean, obsessing is like when you..."

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And if you go to prison, burn yourself

"And if you go to prison, burn yourself"

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with a cigarette, so they think you're crazy.

"with a cigarette, so they think you're crazy."

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Some men like their bitches crazy.

"Some men like their bitches crazy."

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All right. When you're done, Joe, I need--

"All right. When you're done, Joe, I need--"

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Do you have any experience in a court of law?

"Do you have any experience in a court of law?"

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No, conviction.

"No, conviction."

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in the history of the universe.

"in the history of the universe."

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Jimmy's case is in the bag, because we know something

"Jimmy's case is in the bag, because we know something"

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Our strategy is that all judges are Masons?

"Our strategy is that all judges are Masons?"

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Well, there's a secret Masonic word, which, when uttered,

"Well, there's a secret Masonic word, which, when uttered,"

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I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

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Counsel, good day. Good day.

"Counsel, good day. Good day."

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Mr. James-- Come on, Joe, give it up.

"Mr. James-- Come on, Joe, give it up."

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Tubalcain.

"Tubalcain."

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Tubalcain? Shh.

"Tubalcain? Shh."

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That's great, Joe,

"That's great, Joe,"

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but let's practice my strategy, all right?

"but let's practice my strategy, all right?"

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[LAUGHING]

"[LAUGHING]"

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Yes, does that amuse you?

"Yes, does that amuse you?"

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proceed with your evaluation.

"proceed with your evaluation."

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DAVE: Good. Good.

"DAVE: Good. Good."

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I wish I could say the same

"I wish I could say the same"

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about her personal relationships.

"about her personal relationships."

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of Lisa's professional performance,

"of Lisa's professional performance,"

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and save the rest for the Ricki Lake show.

"and save the rest for the Ricki Lake show."

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Good idea. Okay.

"Good idea. Okay."

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Wha-- My wardrobe? I'm taking this from someone

"Wha-- My wardrobe? I'm taking this from someone"

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Lisa dresses like Nancy Drew.

"Lisa dresses like Nancy Drew."

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Okay.

"Okay."

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In all seriousness,

"In all seriousness,"

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kind of...obsessive

"kind of...obsessive"

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Oh.

"Oh."

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Would Jimmy James please approach the bench?

"Would Jimmy James please approach the bench?"

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I beg your pardon?

"I beg your pardon?"

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Just-- Just stay cool, because he's a real shark.

"Just-- Just stay cool, because he's a real shark."

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Hello, Kyle.

"Hello, Kyle."

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Yeah, right.

"Yeah, right."

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Before we begin, I must applaud you

"Before we begin, I must applaud you"

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Oh, dear.

"Oh, dear."

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Oh...

"Oh..."

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Hello, Catherine.

"Hello, Catherine."

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Oh, come on.

"Oh, come on."

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Is Catherine okay,

"Is Catherine okay,"

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just, uh, get on with it.

"just, uh, get on with it."

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Your work here in the last year has been exemplary.

"Your work here in the last year has been exemplary."

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I know what it means.

"I know what it means."

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Your consummate professionalism on the air and off

"Your consummate professionalism on the air and off"

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is an inspiration to us all.

"is an inspiration to us all."

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[CATHERINE GASPS]

"[CATHERINE GASPS]"

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I don't do that.

"I don't do that."

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Oh! ...so that we can all enjoy them.

"Oh! ...so that we can all enjoy them."

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Okay, that's it! I'm outta here.

"Okay, that's it! I'm outta here."

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have my evaluations over a nice lunch.

"have my evaluations over a nice lunch."

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Can you just do the stupid evaluation? Y-Yeah.

"Can you just do the stupid evaluation? Y-Yeah."

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who is just the best employee

"who is just the best employee"

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and the best friend a guy could have...

"and the best friend a guy could have..."

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"Beth could improve her job performance

""Beth could improve her job performance"

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uh, and "being nicer to Bill."

"uh, and "being nicer to Bill.""

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Oh, my God.

"Oh, my God."

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Matthew, you're-- You're supposed to be evaluating Beth.

"Matthew, you're-- You're supposed to be evaluating Beth."

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Actually, between me and you,

"Actually, between me and you,"

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Matthew... Mm?

"Matthew... Mm?"

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Yes, I do.

"Yes, I do."

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What is it? Exhibit J.

"What is it? Exhibit J."

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The defendant--

"The defendant--"

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Uh, Your Honor, this proves nothing.

"Uh, Your Honor, this proves nothing."

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You raise a good point.

"You raise a good point."

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George "Goober" Lindsey.

"George "Goober" Lindsey."

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Step right this way please, Goober.

"Step right this way please, Goober."

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i-if you wouldn't mind.

"i-if you wouldn't mind."

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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Bye.

"Bye."

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[CLICKS]

"[CLICKS]"

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[APPLAUSE]

"[APPLAUSE]"

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There's nothing wrong with it,

"There's nothing wrong with it,"

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as long as you don't hang around

"as long as you don't hang around"

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outside people's offices, waiting to ambush them.

"outside people's offices, waiting to ambush them."

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to ambush you.

"to ambush you."

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[MAN IMITATING WOMAN] Okay, lover.

"[MAN IMITATING WOMAN] Okay, lover."

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Hi, Bill.

"Hi, Bill."

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You're joking.

"You're joking."

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Look, Bill, I know that through most of the year,

"Look, Bill, I know that through most of the year,"

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but I'd like to put that aside...

"but I'd like to put that aside..."

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...and say that you are really very good at your job,

"...and say that you are really very good at your job,"

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Bill, it's not a dressing-down.

"Bill, it's not a dressing-down."

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What do you think? [DOOR SLAMS]

"What do you think? [DOOR SLAMS]"

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No? Well, it's your call.

"No? Well, it's your call."

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