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Clips from The Office - Initiation (S03E03)

"No. I said one of them is not a nickel."
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"But the other one is. I've heard that before."
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"It's a polar bear, because you're at the North Pole."
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"Tell me what you did yesterday."
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"so that we can analyze it at corporate, okay?"
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"Yes, I'm very excited."
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"(CHAIR SQUEAKING)"
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"Is it?"
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"I love Jell-O Pudding Pops."
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"Do you know where we are, temp?"
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"I know where we're not."
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"Damn it."
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"Sure."
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"I am acting my heart out here."
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"Really?"
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"So, I'm just gonna have my soft pretzel,"
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"And just as you have planted your seed in the ground,"
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"I don't think you know what you're saying."
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"Okay."
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"(ENGINE STARTING)"
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"drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive."
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"'Cause they were acting all tough and everything, Uh-huh."
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"I want to kill them."
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"This is pretzel day."
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"Hey, Dwight, you're a great salesman. Can you teach me? Sure, Ryan."
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"Oh, that sounds great, Dwight. I really appreciate that."
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"Thank you so much. A mentor..."
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"and I'll bring you a pretzel?"
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"Look, man, I was in a frat in college, so I know what you're doing. I get it."
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"Are you ready to learn?"
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"What was that?"
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"is Michael Scott's greatest fear?"
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"I'm not doing this anymore. It's part of the challenge."
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"He seemed nice."
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"(SQUEAKING)"
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"You know, I wanted us to be a team."
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"RYAN: Okay, I'm going to establish time frames."
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"Second, I... Second?"
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"Yes, second, Toby."
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"And I will be taking questions."
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"What's on your suit?"
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"I think we're getting a lot done, don't you, on paper at least?"
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"Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Oh, hi, Jim."
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"No message?"
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"Temp! Temp! Temp!"
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"Night."
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"Night, Michael."
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"Do you think you could send me a copy of that?"
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"Everything's pretty much the same here."
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"A little different."
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"How many words per minute does the average person type?"
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"I type 90."
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"Shut up."
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"Mavis Beacon doesn't even type 90."
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"Forget it. I was just about to brag. Forget it."
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"Come on. Tell me."
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"You have to tell me now."
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"Respectable?"
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"Because I just wanted a relaxing evening at home."
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"Because I got it at Blockbuster and they don't put the pictures on the box."
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"(DOOR OPENING)"
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"Three kitchens?"
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"Hey, Ryan, are you okay?"
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"Bye, Pam."
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"Brain teaser. I have two coins, totaling 15 cents."
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"One of them is not a nickel. What are they?"
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"A dime and a nickel."
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"Okay."
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"A man and his son get into a car accident. They are rushed to the hospital."
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"The doctor says, "There is no way I can operate on this boy... ""
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"A man is found hanging from the ceiling..."
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"He stepped on a block of ice, hung himself and the ice melted."
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"A hunter..."
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"Nothing."
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"Nothing?"
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"Yeah, nothing. How was your day?"
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"I don't care how your day was, Michael."
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"Wow. Well, okay."
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"I don't care how your day was either, Jan."
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"I was just asking you because you asked me."
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"Why do you set me up like that? Tell me what you did yesterday."
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"I worked."
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"And then I went home to my condo,"
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"and Carole came over and we had sex."
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"Is that what you want to hear?"
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"Never, ever, ever sleep with your boss."
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"I'm so lucky that Jan and I only got to second base."
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"Hi, Pam. Hi."
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"I'm great."
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"So, Pam, I'd like you to keep a log of everything Michael does, hour-by-hour,"
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"I don't know if I'm... Thanks, Pam."
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"It's weird. Jan used to treat Michael like he was a 10-year old."
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"But lately it's like he's five."
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"So, you excited?"
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"Yeah."
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"Very excited?"
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"Extremely excited?"
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"Just very? That's cool."
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"RYAN: I have spent a year here."
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"And I have to commit or get out."
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"So, Dwight's the top salesman in the company"
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"and he's taking me on my first sales call today."
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"And, I'm excited."
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"I am very excited. Ryan hasn't made a sale yet."
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"But more importantly, he hasn't made an ally yet."
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"Is he gonna be a slacker, loser, wise-ass like Jim was,"
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"or is he gonna join the Dwight Army of Champions?"
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"(MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR STEREO)"
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"So, what if they're not talking much?"
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"Then does it make sense to kind of lead the conversation?"
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"You know, just till it gets to a point where they are asking questions?"
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"(MUSIC STOPS)"
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"So where is the sales office?"
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"When you are ready to see the sales office, the sales office will present itself to you."
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"Your journey begins now."
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"Hey."
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"JIM: What?"
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"My chair's squeaking."
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"You took my chair."
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"No, I didn't."
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