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Clips from The Simpsons - Krusty Gets Busted (S01E01)

"apprehended the TV clown, who appears on a rival station..."
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"opposite our own Emmy Award-winning Hobo Hank."
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"And just in, actual footage of the crime..."
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"taken with the Kwik-E-Mart security camera."
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"a slide show starring my wife's sisters."
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"Or as I call 'em, the Gruesome Twosome."
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"- Oh, Homer. - So, the truth comes out."
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"I know it looks very bad, honey. Who knows,"
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"maybe it'll turn out he was innocent all along."
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"Earth to Marge. Earth to Marge."
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"I was there. The clown is G-I-L-L-T-Y."
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"Buy my cereal."
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"Buy my cereal."
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"I didn't do it!"
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"Oh, I wish I could believe you."
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"Good evening, again, Springfield. Krusty the Clown,"
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"the beloved idol of countless tots,"
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"now nothing more than a common, alleged criminal."
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"His trial, which begins tomorrow, has taken center ring in a national media circus..."
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"as children of all ages from eight to 80..."
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"hang on each new development like so many Romanian trapeze artists."
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"From his humble beginnings as a street mime in Tupelo, Mississippi,"
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"Krusty clowned his way to the top of a personal mini-empire..."
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"with dozens of endorsements, including his own line of pork products."
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"This may have led to one of television's best-loved bloopers--"
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"Krusty's near-fatal, on-the-air heart attack in 1986."
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"Wasn't that a great Itchy and Scratchy cartoon, kids?"
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"Well, we've got another one coming right up."
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"But first, I've got a hankerin'..."
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"for some pork products."
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"But a quick triple bypass and a pacemaker later, Krusty bounced back."
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"However, he was a changed clown."
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"Where his show had been condemned by parents and educators alike..."
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"this new Krusty devoted a small portion of every show..."
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"to stamping out illiteracy in today's anything-for-a-thrill youth."
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"Give a hoot. Read a book."
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"Krusty's arrest has sent shockwaves through Springfield, packing its churches,"
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"synagogues and mosques with disillusioned citizeny from all walks of life."
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"I urge every halfway decent member of our community..."
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"to gather up all merchandise that bears the likeness of Krusty,"
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"that clown prince of corruption,"
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"and join me in a public burning!"
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"So, is Krusty the Clown about to trade in his baggy pants..."
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"for the relatively snug uniform of Springfield Penitentiary?"
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"We'll find out tomorrow when his trial begins."
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"Will you plead insanity?"
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"Look at him. His clothes are so drab."
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"His face is so flesh-colored and sad."
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"My client has no comment at this time."
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"I didn't do it."
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"- Krusty the Clown, how do you plead? - I plead guilty, Your Honor."
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"I mean, not guilty. Opening night jitters, Your Honor."
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"I would like to call to the stand, Homer J.Simpson."
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"Don't do it, Dad. Please don't do it."
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"He's innocent, I tell you. Krusty would never do something like that."
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"Sorry, pal."
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"Mr. Simpson, was that you taking that cowardly dive..."
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"into that display of heavily-salted snack treats?"
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"- Yes, sir. - Do you recognize the gunman in this courtroom today?"
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"- Yes, I do. - Fine. Would you point him out to us?"
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"Okay."
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"- Oh, man. - Let the record show that the witness... eventually..."
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"pointed to... Krusty the Clown."
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"But, Dad, you're giving in to mob mentality."
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"No, I'm not! I'm hopping on the bandwagon."
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"Now, come on, son. Get with the winning team."
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"I'm so happy you're all here tonight."
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"but because these are children's toys, the fire will spread quickly."
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"So, please stand back, and try not to inhale the toxic fumes."
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"I'm totally illiterate. Now are you happy?"
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"Can it be that the champion of child literacy can't even read himself?"
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"Is it a crime to be illiterate?"
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"And this is Exhibit B."
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"Betting slips-- obtained by this court indicating you have lost..."
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"substantial sums of money on sports gambling."
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"I knew it! This happens to me every time."
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"My young friends, for years I have been silent..."
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"save for the crude glissandos of this primitive wind instrument."
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"- You backstabber, you traitor, you-- - Snap out of it, Bart!"
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"Face the facts. All those hours we spent staring at Krusty, we were staring at a crook."
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"- Oh, Bart. - Come on, Lisa."
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"- You do? Why? - Oh, come on, Lis. You know why."
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"- No, why? - I'll never forgive you for making me say this."
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"You're smarter than me."
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"- So, you with me? - Yeah, man."
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"Don't try anything funny. I'm armed to the teeth."
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"Bart, look, over here on the microwave."
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"Come on, Bart. The tape showed that the robber heated up a burrito."
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"- So? - Don't you remember the get-well card we sent to Krusty?"
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"It was after his heart attack..."
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"- when he had a pacemaker put in. - Aha!"
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"Wait a minute. Krusty can't read."
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"Okay! Okay! So the poor guy can't read. Can't we get off his back, already?"
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"How could Krusty have been reading a magazine if he can't read?"
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"If you're not going to buy that thing put it down, or I'll blow your heads off!"
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"Bart, I'm starting to think you're right. Krusty was framed!"
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"- Did he have any enemies? - I don't know."
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"But I know someone who would-- Krusty's best friend in the whole world, Sideshow Bob!"
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""A volley of muskety flamed, thundered, roared.""
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"A profound silence followed,"
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"broken only by the approaching footsteps..."
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""- of the Third Brigade.""
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"Next week, chapter 35 of The Man in the Iron Mask: "The Death of a Titan.""
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"Well, kids, that's our show for today."
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"I die a little"
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"that I'm too uptown for the tots."
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"And yet, I can't help thinking about poor Krusty."
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"but I think we'd do well to explore the more upscale market."
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"For instance, Sideshow Bob limited-edition prints, collector's plates,"
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"Some kids are here to see you, Sideshow Bob. They say it's important."
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"Ah, well, we can sign these contracts tomorrow."
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"Certainly. I take great pride in being able to sign my own name."
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"That's a good one. I gotta tell the wife."
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"- Hi, Sideshow Bob. - Sideshow Bob, can we ask you a few--"
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"Forgive me. As much as Sideshow Bob would love to chat, he has a show starting."
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"- Uh, okay. But-- - Come, come. Let's run along."
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"Hello, children."
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"Come on, Bart. Go with the flow."
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"About a zillionth as much as I love Krusty."
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"Today's show promises to be a marvelous celebration of the human spirit."
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