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Clips from The Detour - The Birth (S02E02)

"Give me a name!"
The Detour
"and the fake I.D.s."
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"It came out in the goddamn court documents over a year ago."
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"The two of you... that you can't be broken."
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"It's Halloween."
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"The doctor's here!"
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"- Twins never do. - "Double D's." Ugh."
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"No. Dicky, dicky dad."
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"It's too hot. It's too hot for kisses. Go."
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"George Washington."
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"Who are you... Rumpelstiltskin?"
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"- Who are you supposed to be? - I don't know."
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"- Should we do some shots? - Yes!"
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"Nah, she trusts me."
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"on someone who looks like that, huh?"
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"So, there you go. Off the hook."
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"You want to slum with this?"
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"- Mine too. - Mm!"
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"- I mean, it's one drink, right? - Mm-hmm."
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"- Oh, hey, are you Nate? - Yeah."
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"Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me."
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"Sorry, man, No requests."
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"Oh, shit."
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"Thank you for calling the automated voice-mail system."
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"Wow."
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"I just called one, man. It's gonna be, like, an hour."
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"- Party's just started. - Yeah, I get it, but..."
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"You sheep-dip."
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"I mean, you deep-shift."
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"Oh, shit."
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"Aaaah! What am I doing?!"
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"Ah, shit!"
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"Can you guys take me, please?"
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"- It's a holiday. - It's not a holiday."
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"And if I could press a button on my phone to get a ride"
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"I'm sick and I'm injured!"
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"You don't?"
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"- What?! - Oh, please. I did the math."
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"Jesus Christ."
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"Oh, hey, buddy. Hey! Buddy, can I use those?"
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"Yeah, I don't care. It's mine. Come on, get off."
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"I don't care about the bike. I need the bolt cutters."
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"Who cares? Snip."
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"Dad, can you pick me up? Some wacko just stole my bike."
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"Yeah. These kids really don't want to come on out."
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"So, we've got Delilah Cherry Parker."
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"He was older... maybe 40."
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"- I love you so much. - I love you, too."
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"He likes snack chips. I like snack chips."
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"Anything. And I..."
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"All right Mr. Parker."
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"- We know you know everything. - What are you talking about?"
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"He's known all along about the fraudulent green-card marriages"
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"No. You should have seen his face when I told him."
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"Oh, you think you're so smart, don't you?"
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"Well, we'll see about that."
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"_"
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"Happy Halloween!"
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"_"
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"Come on. It's Halloween."
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"You can trust me. I'm gonna be a dad soon."
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"Dick."
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"- That's lame. - What? No."
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"Well, congratulations for handing out"
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"exactly zero pieces of candy."
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"Well, at least you're not letting it go to waste."
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"Oh, come on. It was a joke."
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"on my favorite holiday."
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"Except you're an actual adult now,"
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"with actual responsibilities,"
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"I'm going for one drink."
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"Honey, it's never just one drink."
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"when they meet their dad for the first time."
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"You're four weeks out. They're still cooking."
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"Delilah? That's great."
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"Yes, but I am n..."
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"And... No, I am not..."
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"Oooh. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow."
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"It's not you. They're just kicking."
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"They're being dicks."
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"Oh. Just like their dad."
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"Their big ol' dad."
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"Wait, is that, like, "go" go, or..."don't go" go?"
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"Yeah! Go! Go!"
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"Go have drinks at a bar and play the bowling."
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"What, you want me to just stay home?"
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"Rub your fat feet?"
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"I'll stay here and I'll rub your fat feet."
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"Thank you, babe."
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"Now I know where all the candy goes."
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"But seriously, it's like they cut your feet off"
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"You know when you roll up a tube of toothpaste"
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"Your feet... look..."
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"Babe?"
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"Why would you do that?!"
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"I think this might be illegal."
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"How is it illegal?"
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"It's 12 shots, man."
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"It's one drink."
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"Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!"
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"Mule ears!"
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"Okay, okay. Calm down."
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"Hey, the First Amendment doesn't have a volume knob,"
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"I'm not George Washington."
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"I'm Albus Dumbledore."
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"Who are you... Betty Boop?"
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"I'm Margaret Sanger."
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"I-I don't know who that is."
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"Oh. Right. Oh, oh, that."
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"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I know."
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"You know, it's funny, I'm, uh... I'm planning"
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"- Mm. - Yeah."
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"Except I'm gonna go through with it, unlike what you guys do."
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"You're kind of cute, but a bit of a dipshit."
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""Dipshit." That's hilarious."
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"Hey, girls."
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"I'm a Liger."
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"Oh, son of a bitch."
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"Nate?"
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"I think I peed myself again."
The Detour
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