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Clips from The Golden Girls - Rose the Prude (S01E01)

"Thank you for being a friend"
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"Traveled down the road and back again"
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"No need to, Ma. Gin."
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"so we can double, the whole evening's gonna be called off."
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"Next time, Sophia. Dorothy, what do you say?"
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"We are not playing cards, we are playing gin rummy."
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"Tonight's going to be different."
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"- Hi! - Oh, Rose, honey,"
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"are you up for a night on the town with two handsome, eligible bachelors?"
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"You know what my problem really is? I'm spoiled."
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"- but I'll go. - Aw, that's the spirit!"
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"I lived in Minnesota for 51 years - I never even heard of a prostate."
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"Dorothy, you should be going on this date. At least you'd have some fun."
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"Nothing could be more fun than beating my mother at cards tonight."
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"- What's the name of the game? - Gin!"
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"The thrill of victory!"
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"Wait a minute, you haven't told me about the double date!"
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"It was my escort who turned out to be the dud."
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"Next time, I'm gonna date both brothers before I give one away."
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"I have you two to thank for it. Goodnight!"
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"I mean, you go out with lots of interesting guys!"
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"I figured you wouldn't mind, seeing as how you work with your hands all day."
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"I didn't know you were in a club."
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"Oh."
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"I don't know what to do."
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"Oh, back off, Blanche!"
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"But honey, if you don't take a chance, nothing happens."
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"- You startled me! - Oh, I'm sorry."
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"No, no, Rose! We don't have to go through all that trouble."
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"Watch what you're grabbing. I got a specimen in there."
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"What I can't understand is how in the world she managed to wait 15 years."
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"I'd always known that there'd been something between us."
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"But after his wife died, there was no stopping him."
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"Your father didn't even take off his pants!"
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"Ma!"
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"Oh, it was a terrible time for me."
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"Oh, my God, Dorothy, why didn't you tell me about this before?"
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"That way everything slides back and you look like you just had a face lift."
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"Then one day..."
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"Molly didn't actually say that, Rose."
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"Hey, Rose... Rose, don't worry about it."
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"Buzz off."
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"You're the only one who gets any enjoyment out of it."
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"I don't want anybody asking any embarrassing questions."
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"I'm back!"
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"No, you don't."
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"Oh, I'm so happy, and I have you two to thank for it!"
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"Oh, it's a nice feeling, you know, that when one part of your life is over,"
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"Oh, how many stamps did she use? Gloria Pelizado's been dead for two years."
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"You and Pete? You never told me that!"
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"Anyway, one summer she decided to..."
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"Your heart is true You're a pal and a confidante"
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"Invited everyone you knew"
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"You would see the biggest gift would be from me"
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"And the card attached would say"
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"Thank you for being a friend"
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"Discard already! I'm 80- I'd like to live long enough to see the next hand!"
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"You're taking advantage. You know I'm whacked out on blood pressure medicine."
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"Honey, if the medicine bothers you, change the prescription."
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"I like being whacked out."
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"Oh, I'm so glad you're here!"
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"My date's brother just came into town and unless I can find a date for him"
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"So what do you say? Would you please be a friend and go out with him?"
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"Sure, I'm game!"
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"Oh, honey, I'd really love to go. But as you can see, I'm busy."
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"Busy? You're playing cards!"
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"And she stinks at it!"
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"We've been doing it for 30 years - she hasn't beaten me once!"
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"Tonight, the 30 years of humiliation ends!"
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"Ooh, I'm so scared, my dentures are chattering."
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"Thanks for asking, but I don't think so. I'm not that interested in dating anymore."
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"Now you know that's not true, honey, or you'd let your hair go natural."
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"I had a long and wonderful marriage with a perfect man."
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"Everyone seems so ordinary after Charlie."
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"Honey, it's just for dinner, and Charles would want you to eat."
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"Oh, Rose, be a friend. If you don't go, I can't go."
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"I know I'm gonna regret this and I know I'm gonna have a miserable time,"
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"I'll go call the boys."
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"Rose, why do you look so depressed?"
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"I'm tired of going out and not enjoying myself."
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"Last week, I went out with this man that talked for two hours"
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"about his prostate problems."
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"Honey, they don't have them there. It's too cold."
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"Gin!"
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"Dorothy? What's the matter? Something wrong?"
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"The agony of defeat!"
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"I don't know why you play cards with your mother. It just makes you crazy."
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"You're absolutely right, Blanche! This has gone on far too long!"
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"Mom, I am not playing gin with you anymore!"
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"You'll be back. You know why? You're too competitive!"
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"Actually, your ears are your worst feature. But competitive is right up there!"
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"Do you believe that?"
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"No. I always thought your bony feet were your worst feature."
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"- Nighty-night! - Wait! Wait a minute!"
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"It was a complete disaster."
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"You mean Rose and her guy didn't hit it off?"
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"Oh no, they got along just great."
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"- Hi! - Hi! I hear you had a great time tonight."
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"It was the best!"
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"I haven't laughed so much or acted so silly since I was a teenager."
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"- You know what we did? - What?"
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"- We ran a tollbooth! - Oh..."
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"Arnie said he just did it because it was there!"
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"Oh, he is the most outrageous, unpredictable man I have ever met!"
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"I can't remember when I had so much fun! We went dancing at The Beachcomber."
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"We're gonna go back again tomorrow night."
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"Jeffrey doesn't dance. He says it makes his ankles swell."
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"Honey, I think it's terrific that you had a good time tonight."
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"- Goodnight. - Goodnight!"
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"Blanche, come on now! Be happy for her! She finally met someone."
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"Name one."
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"Oh, yeah. That night was kind of fun."
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"The training room, the whirlpool, the adhesive tape..."
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"Name another one."
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"Honey, take a cold shower and go to bed."
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"Dorothy, would you please open this jar of macadamia nuts for me?"
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"- You can't get it open? - Oh, I didn't try."
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"I'm a teacher - I grade papers. I don't shuck oysters!"
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"Thank you."
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"I'm going next door to Frieda Goodson's. We're having a club meeting."
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