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Clips from Kevin Can Wait - Chore Weasel (S01E01)

"I know that you're just trying to make me happy,"
Kevin Can Wait
"She doesn't get how guys like us roll."
Kevin Can Wait
"Good."
Kevin Can Wait
"Well, listen, thanks again for the hockey game."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh, gee, let me check."
Kevin Can Wait
"it's all $17 an hour."
Kevin Can Wait
"Fine. You know what? Keep your puck if you want it."
Kevin Can Wait
"You know what... As long as it's about money for you,"
Kevin Can Wait
"It's his birthday."
Kevin Can Wait
"You know, you've forgotten my birthday more than once."
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay, can we not make this about you, please?"
Kevin Can Wait
"- I'm telling you... - You just don't understand!"
Kevin Can Wait
"What?"
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"between noon and 3:00 to sign for it."
Kevin Can Wait
"No, Mom, I can't."
Kevin Can Wait
"I have class and then work."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh! You know what? Maybe Jenny could cover my shift."
Kevin Can Wait
"- I love you guys. Bye, guys. - Love you."
Kevin Can Wait
"- Good morning, everybody. Hey. - Good morning!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh! Chale, you're gonna be home today, right?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Well, as you know, I am here every day."
Kevin Can Wait
"But not today."
Kevin Can Wait
"There's an investors conference"
Kevin Can Wait
"that could lead to... Hope, hope..."
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"I would be allowed to start paying you rent"
Kevin Can Wait
"for living in the garage."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh."
Kevin Can Wait
"- Oh! Honey! - Hey, babe!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Hey, listen, I have a delivery coming,"
Kevin Can Wait
"but no can do, 'cause I, uh... I got an appointment."
Kevin Can Wait
"- An appointment? - Yeah."
Kevin Can Wait
"Uh, at 11:00, I got a light lunch,"
Kevin Can Wait
"and then, uh..."
Kevin Can Wait
"little pigskin on the gridiron at noon, so..."
Kevin Can Wait
"Football? No!"
Kevin Can Wait
"No, you're retired now,"
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh, come on. You're asking me to sit around all day and do nothing here?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Come on. I'm playing football."
Kevin Can Wait
"No! No. I need you here, okay?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Plus, you and your buddies tackling each other in a field"
Kevin Can Wait
"is a terrible idea."
Kevin Can Wait
"and complaining about it for a week."
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay, that is a crazy exaggeration."
Kevin Can Wait
"It was after the game, he drank a soda,"
Kevin Can Wait
"and he just stood up too fast, that's all."
Kevin Can Wait
"Man, we challenged these guys months ago."
Kevin Can Wait
"We can't back out now."
Kevin Can Wait
"I heard those rookie cops have been talking a lot of smack"
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah. "Oh, we're young. We can do a pull-up.""
Kevin Can Wait
"Come on, man, we got to shut them up!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Believe me, I've been training for this for six months."
Kevin Can Wait
"Mentally, guy... mentally."
Kevin Can Wait
"These gladiators right here..."
Kevin Can Wait
"Donna's making your brother stay at home"
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay, she's not making me, all right? She works hard."
Kevin Can Wait
"Why don't you get a Chore Weasel to do it?"
Kevin Can Wait
"It... It's an app, like Uber,"
Kevin Can Wait
"except people come over and do stuff for you."
Kevin Can Wait
"He stood in line for tickets to "Aladdin.""
Kevin Can Wait
"Not for me... for another guy down at the firehouse."
Kevin Can Wait
"Paying a stranger to sit at the house all day"
Kevin Can Wait
"while I'm playing football?"
Kevin Can Wait
"What do I tell Donna?"
Kevin Can Wait
"lock up when I leave,"
Kevin Can Wait
"Uh, listen, about that..."
Kevin Can Wait
"but is there any way the charge can come up"
Kevin Can Wait
"as "Long Island CrossFit," you know?"
Kevin Can Wait
"but you will be billed discreetly."
Kevin Can Wait
"I mean, not that I'm doing anything wrong."
Kevin Can Wait
"I've had my share of married men."
Kevin Can Wait
"- Hey, Mr. Gable. - Hey."
Kevin Can Wait
"How was the game?"
Kevin Can Wait
"- But it was sick. - Yeah."
Kevin Can Wait
"Uh, yeah. I just hurt the ankle playing."
Kevin Can Wait
"Hurt a lot more if the wife finds out about it."
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah. I get it."
Kevin Can Wait
"I had an ex-girlfriend was the same way."
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah, she would just lose her mind"
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah, this is just like that."
Kevin Can Wait
"You, uh... you put the thing together."
Kevin Can Wait
"It just doesn't sound like me, you know?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay, well, I can take 'er apart, chop-chop."
Kevin Can Wait
"No, you know what?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Look, I-I'm a good guy. I do a lot of stuff around here."
Kevin Can Wait
"Let... Let's roll the dice on it. It's fine."
Kevin Can Wait
"All right, that's the spirit, Mr. Gable."
Kevin Can Wait
"Wow."
Kevin Can Wait
"I do nice work."
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"I just can't believe I didn't bring it upstairs."
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"I think you did."
Kevin Can Wait
"You are amazing!"
Kevin Can Wait
"I did nothing."
Kevin Can Wait
"Aw, honey."
Kevin Can Wait
"And that's the problem with society now..."
Kevin Can Wait
"Nobody wants to work."
Kevin Can Wait
"how about putting up the new spice rack, hmm?"
Kevin Can Wait
"I look at them every day. They're up there."
Kevin Can Wait
"No, come on, please. I mean, they really need to be cleaned out."
Kevin Can Wait
"Really? I-I'm just... I'm just saying, I heard cloudy"
Kevin Can Wait
"Ah! I get it."
Kevin Can Wait
"You act like you don't want to do it,"
Kevin Can Wait
"You are so good. You are."
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay, I'm gonna do it. I'll do it, yeah. Okay."
Kevin Can Wait
"Boy, you had a lot of leaves up there."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh..."
Kevin Can Wait
"Let's see. Jack is 10."
Kevin Can Wait
"I'm gonna get us some drinks. You want a juice, soda?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh, Chale. You're, uh, here."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh, uh, Mr. Gable, do you think you could have your handyman"
Kevin Can Wait
"put a shim under my air conditioner?"
Kevin Can Wait
"It's rattling."
Kevin Can Wait
"Handyman? Uh... What... What... What handyman?"
Kevin Can Wait
"The one on the roof, cleaning the leaves."
Kevin Can Wait
"I believe you call him Blake."
Kevin Can Wait
"There is no handyman. There's no Blake."
Kevin Can Wait
"And if Donna asks, it was me cleaning the gutters."
Kevin Can Wait
"You with me?"
Kevin Can Wait
"- Yes. Yes. - Okay."
Kevin Can Wait
"clearing the gutters."
Kevin Can Wait
"You remember? We just... just..."
Kevin Can Wait
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