Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from 30 Rock - A Goon's Deed in a Weary World (S07E07)

"You've got Lemon. Make lemonade."
30 Rock
"Hey, when do you think you're gonna be home?"
30 Rock
"'Cause we got to do some power nesting."
30 Rock
"Upstairs, I want to paint a mural of Houston for the kids,"
30 Rock
"but I'm terrible at drawing swamp humidity."
30 Rock
"I don't know, Criss. Late."
30 Rock
"I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you."
30 Rock
"Sex on the couch?"
30 Rock
"Sex on the couch?!"
30 Rock
"That's a good one, Criss! I'll call you later."
30 Rock
"Listen up, jagweeds, it's go time! We are at DEFCON 5 here."
30 Rock
"Have you dudes ever been to Deaf con,"
30 Rock
"Man, if you're a dude who can hear, you are just knee-deep in --"
30 Rock
"And we all need to pull together."
30 Rock
"Wing to wing and oar to oar --"
30 Rock
"And that little boy's name was Marshall Mathers."
30 Rock
"L.L., did you save the show yet?"
30 Rock
"'Cause J-Mo and I have a new problem."
30 Rock
"during a lightning storm."
30 Rock
"And I think we switched brains."
30 Rock
"No, I haven't saved the show yet."
30 Rock
"I cannot save the show without all of us stepping up!"
30 Rock
"We get one shot at this. Tonight."
30 Rock
"We have to do a sample show, so you guys need to start writing."
30 Rock
"I'm glad the band U2 is doing press all day."
30 Rock
"If TGS goes away, you are actors without a show."
30 Rock
"And, Hornberger, you and I are gonna slash the budget"
30 Rock
"Are you ready?"
30 Rock
"You wanted to see me, sir?"
30 Rock
"I wanted to see..."
30 Rock
"Kenneth the page."
30 Rock
"Some say he's dead, but others hear his name on the wind."
30 Rock
"- What do you say? - I can't say no to these colors."
30 Rock
"I bleed blue and gray."
30 Rock
"Well, especially where I stepped on that nail."
30 Rock
"Excellent."
30 Rock
"I've got a VIP tour group coming in,"
30 Rock
"Now, who will be on this tour?"
30 Rock
"I like to cater my presentation to the audience."
30 Rock
"For example, if they're Japanese,"
30 Rock
"Kenneth, you'll be showing around the five final candidates"
30 Rock
"for my old job at NBC."
30 Rock
"Now, they think this is just a formality before the final interview,"
30 Rock
"but the tour is the final interview."
30 Rock
"it's an old GE trick."
30 Rock
"You can only truly judge a man who doesn't know he's being judged."
30 Rock
"His factory has zero government regulation,"
30 Rock
"And then you choose the one who's purest of heart!"
30 Rock
"No, sir. It's a magical, ruth-filled business!"
30 Rock
"It's dying, and its leader needs to be a grave robber"
30 Rock
"who'll strip every last bauble off the corpse."
30 Rock
"I'm getting concerned about who we're gonna pick here."
30 Rock
"There is no we, Kenneth."
30 Rock
"You're giving a tour. I'm picking the next president of NBC."
30 Rock
"Not."
30 Rock
"Gut the crew, no more taped pieces, fire Danny,"
30 Rock
"scrap all the sets, and shoot everything on green screen."
30 Rock
"No! Green screen always looks so fake!"
30 Rock
"Ugh! What, then, I'll have some executive from Nokia giving me notes?"
30 Rock
"Oh, you wish."
30 Rock
"We couldn't get them before the lawsuit."
30 Rock
"Right now, our only advertisers are NBC.com"
30 Rock
"and a German guy who wants to eat somebody."
30 Rock
"And even Gunter's having doubts."
30 Rock
"Okay. So I need to find someone to put their name on the show,"
30 Rock
"and I can't be picky -- whatever it takes."
30 Rock
"I get it. You need a sugar daddy."
30 Rock
"So dazzle me."
30 Rock
"- Well, broseph -- - 'Sup?"
30 Rock
"- Totes. - Nah mean?"
30 Rock
"- No homo. - Mos def."
30 Rock
"So, jeah?"
30 Rock
"TGS, it sounds like a news channel or an STD you know I've got!"
30 Rock
"We could change it. We're open to anything."
30 Rock
"Look, don't get me wrong."
30 Rock
"I like that you've got a slut on the show,"
30 Rock
"even if she is a little boned out."
30 Rock
"And I love the sexual harassment thing."
30 Rock
"Noice!"
30 Rock
"But if you're gonna get in bed with the Douche,"
30 Rock
"We're gonna need creative approval, brand mentions,"
30 Rock
"and the whole tone of the show needs to be more, um..."
30 Rock
"have you ever seen the porn version of Transformers?"
30 Rock
"- Look, do we have a deal? - Almost."
30 Rock
"so could your credit be Todd Debeikis?"
30 Rock
"Died during hell week after passing out in the trough."
30 Rock
"I went to Syracuse."
30 Rock
"If the show goes away, we'll be fine."
30 Rock
"Left unattended long enough, my house burns down,"
30 Rock
"after their TV shows had ended."
30 Rock
"Like George Clooney."
30 Rock
"what are the chances that there'll be two perfect roles,"
30 Rock
"But we don't need two roles if we play Siamese twins!"
30 Rock
"- One is the president. - The other is Santa Claus."
30 Rock
"And they're both in love with the same woman."
30 Rock
"Tracy, Jenna."
30 Rock
"Tell me, what's going on with TGS?"
30 Rock
"Actually, Kristy, we'd like to talk about our amazing upcoming project."
30 Rock
"It's a movie called Heads of State."
30 Rock
"Colon, The Rise of Dr. Ronfulus."
30 Rock
"The third floor is also home to NBC News."
30 Rock
"The Today Show was originally designed"
30 Rock
"to entertain prison inmates"
30 Rock
"whose IQs were too low for them to be executed."
30 Rock
"is that The Today Show is NBC's most profitable news program."
30 Rock
"Twelve hours of daily news funtertainment with very low overhead."
30 Rock
"We pay most of our hosts in white wine."
30 Rock
"But I'm wondering, is there a way to make it even more profitable?"
30 Rock
"Food segments where you can order the food!"
30 Rock
"Show it again later on E!, but have gay guys make fun of it!"
30 Rock
"I guess for some people The Today Show is about money,"
30 Rock
"but for me it's about America starting its day together."
30 Rock
"And it's about seeing your friends Matt and Savannah and your butler Al."
30 Rock
"Oh, I watch The Today Show."
30 Rock
"This morning, out on the Plaza, Al made a classic weather pun --"
30 Rock
"- Yes! - Pure of heart!"
30 Rock
"Kenneth, a word."
30 Rock
"I am sorry, sir, but this is bigger than both of us."
30 Rock
"Kenneth, it's We peacock comedy. You say the peacock."
30 Rock
"What?! That's insane!"
30 Rock
Show more clips