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Clips from Married with Children - He Thought He Could (S03E03)

"Marcy, if you read it carefully,"
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"It was a wedding present from Al's parents."
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"Yeah."
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"It's the only way he'll eat melon, you know."
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"Al wouldn't eat unless his food was warm."
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"pardon the expression,"
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"you'd know how to make a decent melon ball."
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"They disappeared one day from my yard."
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"How did you get them?"
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"Well, you can't count that, Steve."
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"Oh, man."
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"Huh?"
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"Then I met your mom."
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"Thanks, Steve."
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"Oh, come on, Steve, you must have got"
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"right here to share it with me."
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"Nah, Peg'd probably just serve him cold."
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"Hey! Look at this!"
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"Is this my book, Al?"
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"Look here."
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"He certainly can't read it."
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"You have to bring this book back."
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"Al, just take the book back."
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"It's because of the librarian..."
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"The devil boy."
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"You'd like to check these out, would you?"
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"you never have the money to pay,"
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"Make a promise, keep a promise."
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"I've got a book report due tomorrow."
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"And I wish that on you, Bundy:"
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"Well, you've just taught me"
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"Promise you'll bring it back on time."
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"I promise."
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"That's when I first learned that redheads can kill you."
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"I'll tell you what."
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"Could it be that I was correct"
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"That's another 20 cents you owe us."
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"I'd remember if you did."
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"I believe that was the day of the big cake heist."
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"You were rounded up for questioning."
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"Perhaps a policeman's rubber hose"
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"Librarian hit man."
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"you can't do wrong doing right."
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"Yeah, Mom, we were watching."
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"Well, Daddy, this may be the most embarrassing thing"
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"even if it must reach down"
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"Who's up for a game of Yahtzee?"
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"Al, it doesn't matter"
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"Ruth."
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"And, Al, I want you to know"
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"that no matter how bad it gets,"
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"Where you going, honey?"
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"Hello, Mr. Bundy, I've been expecting you."
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"Hey, man, don't Bundy that book."
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"You're quite famous, you know."
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"I kept this job for one reason..."
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"I could have given you amnesty on the book."
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"Is it wrong to hate a 9-year-old boy?"
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"Not when that boy is you."
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"but let me tell you something."
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"Every morning when I wake up,"
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"have my watered-down Tang and still-frozen Pop Tart,"
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"I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman."
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"makes me a winner!"
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"I suppose,"
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"That's always been your problem."
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"Make a promise, keep a promise."
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"I'm going to start keeping promises right now."
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"[***]"
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"You know, the boys are upstairs working so hard,"
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"and this popcorn will make a nice surprise for them."
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"It's so easy to make too."
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"Uh, Peggy, you're supposed to move it around."
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"Oh..."
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"Well, gee..."
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"Peggy, did you know this says, "Use before May the 11th, 1972"?"
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"it says, "Best if used before May the 11th, 1972.""
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"Boys! Popcorn!"
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"[SIGHS]"
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"Can you believe it?"
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"up in the attic."
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"They gave you popcorn?"
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"Popcorn and Al."
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"I made out like a bandit."
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"and written instructions"
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"on how to make melon balls for their son."
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"Yeah, men are so fussy."
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"Do you know that after we were first married,"
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"Okay, we've cleaned out your garage,"
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"your back yard, and your attic,"
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"so tomorrow you're gonna help me"
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"clean out my garage, right, Al?"
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"One...second."
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"[GRUNTS]"
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"No."
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"Now, Al, I hope that attic is nice and clean"
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"for when mother comes to stay."
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"The trough's been built."
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"All we need now is a little glass of bourbon"
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"to put her teeth in, and she'll be in,"
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"hog heaven."
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"Hey, popcorn!"
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"Marcy, I don't need you to tell me what to eat."
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"You're not my mother."
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"If you were,"
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"[COUGHS]"
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"Mm! It's good."
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"No, no, no, no, no. No more popcorn"
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"till you put that junk in the garbage."
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"I can use a lot of this."
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"Steve, look what she wants me to throw out."
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"My hedge clippers."
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"Bud!"
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"Get down here!"
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"What, Dad?"
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"Yes, Dad."
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"You remember? You called Mr. Rhoades up on the phone,"
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"and I slipped over and took them?"
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"Well, don't ever do it again."
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"I'm sorry, Steve, he must've misunderstood."
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