Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Seinfeld - The Suicide (S03E03)

"...why don't we try stopping his check."
Seinfeld
"There are no bristles."
Seinfeld
"You can say what you want about me..."
Seinfeld
"...while you insult my toothbrush."
Seinfeld
"...what will you do if Martin wakes up? Run away like a mouse?"
Seinfeld
"No, more like the Three Stooges at the end of every movie."
Seinfeld
"Who are these Stooges you speak of?"
Seinfeld
"Tell me about them. Everything."
Seinfeld
"Well, they're three funny-looking guys and they'd hit each other a lot."
Seinfeld
"- You will show me the Stooges? - I will show you the Stooges."
Seinfeld
"- When? - Well..."
Seinfeld
"...I don't really know where the Stooges are right now..."
Seinfeld
"Come. You walk me to a cab."
Seinfeld
"Well, I..."
Seinfeld
"I don't want you to get upset or anything..."
Seinfeld
"...but with Martin and all, maybe it's not a good idea to be seen together..."
Seinfeld
"...in the building, because he had a lot of friends."
Seinfeld
"You are still afraid. You are not a man."
Seinfeld
"Are you going to walk me to a cab or not?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, all right, all right."
Seinfeld
"- Why don't you just eat fruit. - Fruit makes me incontinent."
Seinfeld
"I don't want you eating over here."
Seinfeld
"Hello, Gina. Hello, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Do you think Newman would tell Martin if he wakes up?"
Seinfeld
"People smoke, Elaine."
Seinfeld
"My mother smoked."
Seinfeld
"It didn't hurt me."
Seinfeld
"Did you guys see that wall move?"
Seinfeld
"Could there be a native problem in the Caymans?"
Seinfeld
"Maybe there's native unrest."
Seinfeld
"Hi. I haven't eaten in three days."
Seinfeld
"I was wondering how much longer it would be till I get my X-ray."
Seinfeld
"...in the first 24 hours, get everything out of my place and put it in storage."
Seinfeld
"- How come? - Looters."
Seinfeld
"How do we know the dog food's any good?"
Seinfeld
"Who tastes it?"
Seinfeld
"She is really hungry."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Kramer."
Seinfeld
"Would you buy my Cayman Island ticket?"
Seinfeld
"- You're not going? - No."
Seinfeld
"...something terrible will happen."
Seinfeld
"I want my vacuum cleaner!"
Seinfeld
"Martin, I know you can hear me."
Seinfeld
"Look, my mother's coming to visit me. She sees that rug, she's gonna kill me."
Seinfeld
"I have a carpet sweeper you can use."
Seinfeld
"I don't want a carpet sweeper. They don't do anything."
Seinfeld
"It gets my rug clean."
Seinfeld
"The carpet sweeper is the biggest scam..."
Seinfeld
"...perpetrated on the American public since One Hour Martinizing."
Seinfeld
"You should take a look at my rug, then."
Seinfeld
"I wouldn't set foot in your house."
Seinfeld
"- Hello. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"Hello, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"- How's he doing? - Well, he looks happy to me."
Seinfeld
"- Why wouldn't he? - No reason."
Seinfeld
"He'll have a lot of catching up to do, I guess."
Seinfeld
"I'll bring him up to date."
Seinfeld
"- How up to date? - All the way up."
Seinfeld
"Well, it would take a lot, because a friend is something you earn."
Seinfeld
"Jerry has a friend who has free tickets to the Cayman Islands this weekend."
Seinfeld
"He's not going."
Seinfeld
"I don't care much for the beach. I freckle."
Seinfeld
"- Is that a...? - Drake's Coffee Cake."
Seinfeld
"Boy. That's the full-size."
Seinfeld
"Can I have a bite?"
Seinfeld
"I don't like to give out bites."
Seinfeld
"I got another one..."
Seinfeld
"...but I'm saving it for later."
Seinfeld
"Just one bite?"
Seinfeld
"All right! All right."
Seinfeld
"I won't say anything."
Seinfeld
"- You swear? - I swear."
Seinfeld
"But here it was..."
Seinfeld
"...mountains of duck."
Seinfeld
"And not fatty duck either, but juicy, tender breasts of duck."
Seinfeld
"- Beautifully sliced... - Faithy!"
Seinfeld
"You could take as much as you want..."
Seinfeld
"Hi. Hi! What are you doing here? How did I know you were here?"
Seinfeld
"Something drew me here. This is phenomenal."
Seinfeld
"The nurse said she'd be back."
Seinfeld
"I have to apologize for my friend the other day-"
Seinfeld
"Friend? I don't even know that woman."
Seinfeld
"I met her on the way over. I couldn't get rid of her."
Seinfeld
"- Where's the nurse? - I'm sure she'll be right back."
Seinfeld
"Sweetheart, why don't you run and get a nurse for Mommy."
Seinfeld
"I was just curious. The other day you said something about my trip."
Seinfeld
"- Don't take that trip. - Yeah! Why? Why?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, because...? Because...?"
Seinfeld
"Assassins! How dare they keep a person waiting like this!"
Seinfeld
"- Give me that! - Jerry, you better stop her or I'll tell!"
Seinfeld
"Elaine, no! No!"
Seinfeld
"Are there terrorists on the plane? A hotel fire, is that it?"
Seinfeld
"Typhus? Malaria? Yellow fever? Lupus? Is it lupus?"
Seinfeld
"They did it right in this bed, Martin. Right in front of you."
Seinfeld
"- I want my vacuum cleaner! - I can explain!"
Seinfeld
"What are you doing? We're going to dinner in 10 minutes."
Seinfeld
"I never assisted in a birth before."
Seinfeld
"It's really quite disgusting."
Seinfeld
"- What did she name the kid? - You wouldn't believe it."
Seinfeld
"Rasputin."
Seinfeld
"- Hey! - Hey!"
Seinfeld
"- When did you get back? - A couple hours ago."
Seinfeld
"- So how was it? - George..."
Seinfeld
"They were shooting the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue..."
Seinfeld
"...right in the hotel pool. Not only that..."
Seinfeld
"...the hotel opened up an area on the beach for nude bathing..."
Seinfeld
"...and all of the models went down there."
Seinfeld
"I am on the next blanket from Elle Macpherson."
Seinfeld
"We played backgammon nude."
Seinfeld
"...with swimsuit models!"
Seinfeld
"Oh, you know what? The second day I was there, I stepped on a jellyfish."
Seinfeld
"It stung my foot. That's probably what Rula was trying to warn you about."
Seinfeld
"What's this?"
Seinfeld
"It's an invitation to a housewarming for Martin and Gina."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - It's Elaine."
Seinfeld
"- Where you going? - We're taking Elaine to dinner."
Seinfeld
"She's gotta start the fast again. You wanna go?"
Seinfeld
"I'd like to, but a bunch of us from the islands are getting together."
Seinfeld
"...is the people that try and commit suicide..."
Seinfeld
"...for some reason, they don't die, and then that's it. They stop trying."
Seinfeld
Show more clips