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Clips from Ted 2 (2015)(sub)

"We take that shit all the way up to Judge Judy if we have to."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"But we don't know any lawyers. All our friends make sandwiches."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Ah. Oh, we just Google "Boston lawyers.""
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"This is a very complicated case you have here."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Most civil rights cases are, but this one has some very obvious wrinkles."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Listen, your case is not gonna be cheap."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Uh, all of our holdings are tied up in the railroads."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yeah, Reading Railroad, B&O Railroad, Pennsylvania Railroad."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"We're working on Short Line. Urn, I own Atlantic Avenue and Marvin Gardens."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I was thinking about just tearing them down and building a hotel."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I won second prize in a beauty contest. That's $50 right there."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Tell you what, I'm gonna go drive around the block,"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I'll tell you what I'm gonna do."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"My niece recently passed her bar exam"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"and I've hired her on as a junior associate here at the firm."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I could assign her to your case, pro Bono."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"and I would get a more experienced lawyer in return."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yeah, sure, sounds great."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Um, are those hard candies, like, just to take?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Uh, those aren't supposed to be out."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Hello?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You okay?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You must be Ted."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Uh, it's been discussed,"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"but do you mind if I ask how old you are?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I'm 26."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"What, is there a problem?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Frozen songs during the opening arguments."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"because the stakes are so significant."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"We can't just rush into anything."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"We got to make sure we're making the right decision."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"but I think what we're probably gonna do is"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"just take a seat and get to work."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Trust you completely."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yeah, we really feel like you got a lot to offer."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You don't mind the pot, do you?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I get migraines."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Oh, I'm Samantha Jackson."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Good to meet you. John. Nice to meet you."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Wait, wait, wait. What's your middle name?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Leslie."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Oh, my God! So you're Sam L. Jackson! (LAUGHS)"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You ever seen any movie ever? He's the black guy."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"That weed is really good."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"It reminds me of the strain I smoked"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"last summer called "Here Comes Autism.""
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yeah, I was just gonna say it's sort of like this other batch we had called"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"No, it's this new strain my dealer gave me called "Help Me Get Home.""
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You know, I'm surprised a lawyer like you gets high."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I mean, aren't you supposed to be fighting"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"the War on Drugs and all that shit?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Please, the War on Drugs is a joke."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"to inflate law enforcement budgets"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"and lock up minorities for no good legal reason."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"And you, my friend, are an oppressed minority."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yeah. No shit."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"They've denied you the same rights as everybody else"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"just because you're different,"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"and I say that's a violation of the Constitution."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"So what do you say? Can you get me my life back?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"JOHN: Hey, guys?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(BREATHING HEAVILY) I'm having some trouble over here."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"What's the matter?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Can you help me get home?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"TED: Johnny, it's okay, buddy. It's okay."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You're doing fine. You're doing great."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"How far away does he live?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Uh, about a mile-and-a-half."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Fuck, okay."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Hey, it's okay. One foot in front of the other."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I got, uh, Ernest Goes to Camp, Ernest Goes to Jail"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Okay. I'm gonna ask you a few test questions. Are you ready?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
""Ted, do you consider yourself to be human?""
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Overruled! Sidebar?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"In my chambers! Stop beavering the witness!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Bang."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(INAUDIBLE)"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Oh, my God! I'm gonna fall off the building."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Your name is Toby!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You're going to learn to say your name."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Let me hear you say it."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"What's your name?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(BREATHING SHAKILY) Kunta. Kunta Kinte."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Well, it's a little different."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You know, Ted, if you legally become a person, you're gonna need a last name."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Oh, yeah, you're right. Okay, okay, I got one."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Okay, what is it?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Who is Clubber Lang?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Who's Clubber Lang?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Mr. T's character in Rocky III. Hello?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Is that the boxing movies?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(SHOUTS) The boxing..."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You've never seen Rocky? She's not serious."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You've never seen Rocky?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You know..."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(IMITATING ROCKY SOUNDTRACK)"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You know, Rocky!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I'm not gonna remember a movie I've never seen"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"just because you're singing a song I don't know."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You don't know Samuel L. Jackson, you don't know Rocky."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You are literally pop culture illiterate."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I have a college degree."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Ever heard of any of them?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Oh, really? Um, can either of you tell me who wrote The Great Gatsby?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Judy Blume? Hitler?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"F. Scott Fitzgerald."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Who's that?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"The author."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"What?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You just said "Eff Scott Fitzgerald.""
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"What did Scott Fitzgerald do to you? Yeah."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"No, that's his first name."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"His name's "Fuck Scott Fitzgerald"?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"What? No."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Well, then, what's the "F" stand for?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Francis."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"No. It's got to be "Fuck." It must be "Fuck.""
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"It's got to be "Fuck." It has to be "Fuck.""
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Well, because otherwise, why wouldn't he just say it?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yeah, he's hiding something. it's "Fuck.""
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
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