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Clips from Ted 2 (2015)(sub)

"(GAGGING) You got to fucking help me!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Oh, my God! It's in my fucking mouth!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Hang on. I got to post this on Facebook."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"No! (CAMERA CLICKS)"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(GASPS) Oh, my God!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Look, I'm so sorry! We swear to God, it was an accident."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"We're so sorry."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Well, I guess it's all right. Those are the rejected sickle-cell samples-"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Ah, you hear that, Johnny?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You're covered in rejected black-guy sperm."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You look like a Kardashian."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"No, make sure you have all the updated"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"information on our Comic Con placement."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Morning, Mr. Jessup."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Good morning. Now..."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(SIGHS) Hi, Donny."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Now this is a multi-platform release,"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"so I want a full report on all..."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Fresh cakes."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I noticed you always use urinal four,"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"so I put fresh cakes in there for you."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"See, most people flip the cakes."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I replace the cakes."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"That's the Donny difference."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I need a full report on all the placement of our merchandise."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I'm afraid I have bad news."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Wait, what? Why not?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Tami-Lynn, according to your test results, you're no longer fertile."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"What?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Wait, Doc, are you sure about that?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I mean, maybe you should check again or something, you know?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I'm quite sure."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Tami-Lynn, because of your history of excessive drug use"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"your ovarian canal has been somewhat compromised."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"What are you talking about? It looks fine. Yeah."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Forgive me, that's a normal ovary."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"This is Tami-Lynn's."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"TED: Jesus!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yeah, but I bet this stuff happens a lot."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"No, not once, not ever."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Bottom line is, insemination is not possible."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(SOBS) I don't understand, okay? None of this makes any sense."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"It's okay. It's okay, honey. Come on, let's just go."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"No, what does this mean, Teddy?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Everything's gonna be okay."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"It really isn't."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Well, I have gone through your application"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"and I'm afraid this isn't gonna work out."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"of Tami-Lynn's drug conviction."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Hey, I did my community service."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yeah, besides, that was five years ago. She's clean."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"There's another issue,"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"and,honestly, it's the more serious one."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I was reluctant to bring it up because"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"it's a little awkward."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"The state official I spoke to said"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"that technically, you are classified as property."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I'm not a person?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
""Property"?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You know what, Teddy? Let's get out of here."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(SIGHS)"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Look."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You seem like good people."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Be careful."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"made it sound like your status had gone under the radar for some time."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Your adoption request may have raised some red flags."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"If they choose to investigate the issue,"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"it may leave you quite vulnerable."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Hey. I just got off work and heard your message."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yeah, it's unbelievable. "Property.""
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"They said I'm property."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"What does that even mean? Like, you're a thing?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"What, like garbage or a piece of shit?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I mean, maybe more like a hammer or an orange, but yeah."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"It's just a word."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"They can't change your whole life just by calling you property!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Bullshit! You better ask my ancestors."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"One minute, you in Africa, washing your clothes"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Then all of a sudden, you somewhere"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"across the world, fucking Thomas Jefferson."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Wow! You make history come alive."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I don't have a driver's license, I don't pay taxes."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I mean, hell, this is the first job I ever had."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Ted, can I see you for a moment?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I'm sorry,"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"but I'm gonna have to let you go."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"What? Why? I've been busting my ass at this job for three years!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I can't legally keep you on as an employee"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"because I've been informed that you're technically..."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Technically not a person. Yeah. Jesus Christ!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I'm sorry. But as of today, you're fired."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
""has been terminated due to a lack of citizenship.""
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
""Dear Ted, your Discover card has been revoked.""
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
""Dear Ted, you are no longer a Papa Gino's rewards member.""
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Fuck, that's a big one."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"This poor baby bootie."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"It's always gonna be empty. There's never gonna be a little foot in here."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I don't understand. We would have made such great parents."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Oh, my God."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Oh, my God, Teddy!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Look at this."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(SOBBING) "Dear Ted,"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
""the state of Massachusetts regrets to inform you"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
""that due to an oversight regarding your legal status"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
""your marriage to Tami-Lynn McCafferty is unrecognized by the state"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
""and, therefore, invalid and hereby annulled.""
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Teddy, can they do this to us?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Let me see that."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"if I had known it was gonna cause me this kind of shit storm."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"This whole thing is complete bullshit."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I mean, if you ask me, we got to fight it."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"What do you mean? I mean, we get a lawyer."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Oh, my God. Can we do that?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Hell yeah! You know what we do?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"We'll get a lawyer and we'll sue"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"the fucking government for your civil rights!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Johnny, that's a great idea!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Hey, hey! Maybe we get one of them Harrison Ford lawyers"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"who gets shot in the head, then turns all retarded and nice and goes,"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
""What we're doing is wrong.""
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
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