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Clips from Ted 2 (2015)(sub)

"Hello."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I'd, uh, like to ask a few questions about this breakfast cereal."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Uh, yeah, yeah. Box of Trix."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"That's right."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I've been led to understand that Trix are exclusively for children."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Is that correct?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I... I mean, they say, uh, "Trix are for kids" in the commercials."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Uh-huh. Uh-huh."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"And is that enforced by law?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"No. No, you... You should be fine."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Uh, I was able to sniff that out, yeah."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Okay, I'm going to bring these back to my apartment."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Uh, yeah, yeah. You'll... You'll be okay."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"And, uh, I won't be followed?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Hey."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I won't forget what you've done for me here today."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I would prefer that you do."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Jesus Christ."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(SIGHS)"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"No."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Honest to God, Joy, I don't know how to fix this."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I mean, how the hell do you take"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Well, I'll tell you one way. You have yourselves a baby."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"A baby?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(INDISTINCT) Yeah. What?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Look at them. They're so happy."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Because they got that little baby keeping them together."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"they'd just be two sad-ass white niggas"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Why, you said it twice. Is that an actual phrase?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(PRICING GUN CLICKING)"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Uh, hey."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Tami, listen, I just wanna talk to you. Okay?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Will you just listen to me for one second?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Why? So you can give me shit about my clothes?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"No! Look, I'm sorry about that, okay? I'm sorry."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You know, whatever, Teddy."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Tami, (SIGHS) listen. I love you."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Okay? And... And I don't want us"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"to fight like we've been doing the past few months."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I don't know, Teddy. Somethings got to change, you know?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Because I can't do this no more. It's too much."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I wanna have a baby."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You do?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yeah."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"A baby? Like really?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"See, I think, if we got a kid to love,"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Oh, my God, Teddy."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I think you'd make an awesome mom."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"So what do you say? We all good?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yes! Oh, I love you!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I love you so much!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Let's make a baby! Let's make a baby!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(FLICKING LIGHTER)"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Okay, you ready? Oh, shit Yeah, yeah, yeah."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(JOHN HUMMING) TED: (SINGING) Let's all go to court"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I say we go to court!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"JOHN: Yes, let's go to court!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"TED: We're a bunch of assholes who take up"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"a whole hallway with our conversation."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(SINGING) Hey, you lawyer guys"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You don't know me and Johnny are watching you"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"That was fucking magic."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"That felt smooth. That felt really smooth. Oh!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"So in the pocket."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Hey, so, uh, listen, I got, uh..."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I got some big news to tell ya."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Tami-Lynn and I are gonna have a baby!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Holy Shit! You?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(CHUCKLES) Yeah, yeah, we talked about it today."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Wait, wait, wait. How... How... How do you guys..."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"And, um, I'm wondering, what do you think"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Sam Jones would say if I asked him?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You want Flash Gordon to father your child?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yeah, I mean, do you think..."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"No, I think he'd be flattered!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"And plus, your baby will be a fucking superhero!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Well, that was the logic I arrived at as well."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"All right. I'll shoot him an e-mail right now,"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"and see if I can stop by tonight."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You come with me? Sure."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"All right, great."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"I can never get a signal in your apartment. Hey, can I use your laptop?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yeah, go ahead. Okay, thanks."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"(SHOUTS) What the fuck?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Holy shit! Dude, what's the matter? What happened?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Well, what the hell are you doing looking at my private shit?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"What are you talking about, "private shit"? Johnny, it was wide open!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"There are literally thousands of files here!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Well, I've been meaning to clear some of that out."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Jesus Christ. Look at the organization here!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Clockwise rim job. Counterclockwise rim job!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yeah, well, sometimes you like seeing the tongue go the other way!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You sick bastard! Look at this! Chicks with dicks?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"There are no chicks with dicks, Johnny! Only guys with tits!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Oh, this is such a relief!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You got to get back out there and meet somebody"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"All right, fine, I will. Just stop looking at that shit, please!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Johnny, I mean it. All right'?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Fine, I got it. Done."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"All right. Now, let's get rid of this."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"No,no,no- That shit can always be recovered."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"We got to smash your laptop with a hammer."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"All right, there, you happy?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"No, the circuits could still be reconstructed if somebody worked at it."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"We got to bury it in the harbor."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"You'd really be helping me and Tami out."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Oh, look, I did a lot of blow in the '80s"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"and my sperm count's a little low."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Oh. How low?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Yeah, little fella's having his own I Am Legend in my nut sack."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Oh. Can we have that one?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"No! Gonna need it for protein if I ever get lost at sea."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Come on, guys. I mean, are we done here? I got to go."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"That Sister, Sister marathon ain't gonna watch itself."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"TED: Can't believe it. That son of a bitch!"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"piece-of-shit movie, like, a hundred times."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"Johnny, please, just help me do this. Okay?"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"He's the only guy in the world whose sperm"
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
"is even close to Flash Gordon's."
Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
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