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Clips from Farzar - War and Peace (S01E01)

"[ominous music playing]"
Farzar
"Welcome, great and powerful leaders of the alien clans."
Farzar
"King Snuffle Snart. President Banana."
Farzar
"Medium Bob Dookie. Leafion the Fifth."
Farzar
"And whatever the fuck you are."
Farzar
"What it is, what it is."
Farzar
"Okay. Thank you so much."
Farzar
"I've gathered you here for a very important reason."
Farzar
"Hold on, mon. Where's the leader of the skull people?"
Farzar
"Oh."
Farzar
"You know what? I must have forgotten to send his e-vite, or I'm racist."
Farzar
"Anyhoo, it's time to launch a great war to destroy the humans once and for all."
Farzar
"I want you all to join me."
Farzar
"[all laugh]"
Farzar
"Join you? We hate you, mon."
Farzar
"What did I do to you?"
Farzar
"You scarred me for life."
Farzar
"Oh my God!"
Farzar
"Grandma Bob Dookie!"
Farzar
"And I know about those non-stop, offensive banana puns you do."
Farzar
"That's a vicious rumor. I would never do a banana pun."
Farzar
"I'm just saying, the human city is "ripe" for the taking."
Farzar
"Watch your ass, mon."
Farzar
"What? Did my humor not "a-peel" to you?"
Farzar
"That's it!"
Farzar
"Come back. Come back. Sit down."
Farzar
"I'm sorry."
Farzar
"I need you to stay,"
Farzar
"'cause I can't stand to see a banana "split." Whoa!"
Farzar
"I'll kill you, motherfucker!"
Farzar
"Everybody calm down."
Farzar
"If you won't go to war for me, do it for Clitaris."
Farzar
"What happened to Clitaris?"
Farzar
"Clitaris was killed by the human queen."
Farzar
"No!"
Farzar
"We loved Clitaris, mon."
Farzar
"Aw! Damn, man! You could have just showed us a picture."
Farzar
"We will all join you, Bazarack."
Farzar
"The humans will feel our furious vengeance!"
Farzar
"Who left the goddamn window open?"
Farzar
"We late for the big meeting?"
Farzar
"I heard we were going to war with the human city."
Farzar
"Wait a minute. Don't you two live in the human city?"
Farzar
"No, you must be talking about Flobby and Belzert."
Farzar
"See, we're Flobby and Belzert."
Farzar
"We Intellectoids are clones."
Farzar
"We're all Flobby and Belzert."
Farzar
"If we're going to war, we'd better make some more of us."
Farzar
"-How the hell does that work? -We'll show you."
Farzar
"But just so you know, it's a complex process that's evolved over eons."
Farzar
"♪ I put my tongue in his butthole ♪"
Farzar
"♪ That's how we reproduce, eh ♪"
Farzar
"Stop! Stop! Stop! I'm sorry I asked."
Farzar
"I'm not. I like that nasty shit."
Farzar
"[adventurous music playing]"
Farzar
"♪ Farzar ♪"
Farzar
"[suspenseful music playing]"
Farzar
"[growls]"
Farzar
"That's right. It's me, fan-favorite breakout character Sal."
Farzar
"Get your Sal T-shirts at SalTheTaint.com."
Farzar
"[indistinct whispering]"
Farzar
"What do you mean I don't own my own likeness?"
Farzar
"Fucking Netflix lawyers!"
Farzar
"Man, most of Bazarack's army is just shit."
Farzar
"[upbeat video game music plays]"
Farzar
"Hadouken!"
Farzar
"[groans]"
Farzar
"You aliens are lucky I can't come out,"
Farzar
"because my new, ultra-glamorous armor is chafing my balls to shit."
Farzar
"Dad, I think we're in trouble."
Farzar
"Bazarack has united every alien on Farzar against us."
Farzar
"They outnumber us 90 to one."
Farzar
"What the hell has gotten Bazarack so pissed off at us?"
Farzar
"Oh, I murdered his best friend."
Farzar
"Anyway, good luck with this shit. I'm going on vacation with my besties."
Farzar
"Yes! I'm going to get a henna tattoo and pay a hooker to eat my asshole."
Farzar
"Dad, there has to be some way to stop this war peacefully."
Farzar
"I'll stop the war, Fichael,"
Farzar
"when I win thanks to my super weapon."
Farzar
"[bagpipes play]"
Farzar
"Especially when I make your super weapon even stronger."
Farzar
"[surfer accent] I could really go for some boba."
Farzar
"What the hell did you do? You ruined Squiggles!"
Farzar
"Don't you know all his anger comes from being short?"
Farzar
"I think I'm gonna go play Frisbee golf. Maybe test drive a Corolla."
Farzar
"♪ Squiggles is a basic bitch now! ♪"
Farzar
"Prepare to die, humans!"
Farzar
"Intellectoids, line up!"
Farzar
"Ready."
Farzar
"Aim."
Farzar
"Fire!"
Farzar
"Oh, sorry, I missed one."
Farzar
"Barry, weapons report."
Farzar
"Oh, it's going great. I covered the battlefield with land mimes."
Farzar
"-You mean land mines? -No."
Farzar
"[accordion music playing]"
Farzar
"[accordion music stops abruptly]"
Farzar
"What was the point of that?"
Farzar
"The mime is dead, isn't he? Also check out my sexual assault rifle."
Farzar
"[indistinct whispering]"
Farzar
"Well, damn it, tell me what I can say!"
Farzar
"Chaos! Chaos!"
Farzar
"Barry, your new job is to cure Zobo's chaos addiction"
Farzar
"before this war makes him destroy the planet."
Farzar
"Okay, S.H.A.T. Squad, our troops need a medic."
Farzar
"Well, I actually went to nursing school before I--"
Farzar
"Billy, put your nimble hands to use."
Farzar
"Oh!"
Farzar
"Whoopsy-daisies!"
Farzar
"War is disgusting. I want a new job too."
Farzar
"Anything you want, Scootie."
Farzar
"Ice cream taster?"
Farzar
"That's not really a job,"
Farzar
"but you got it, buddy!"
Farzar
"Fichael, I kind of want to do tactical planning."
Farzar
"I have an idea on how to end this war. Maybe today!"
Farzar
"Those are a lot of words, Val,"
Farzar
"but they don't mean anything."
Farzar
"Besides, you already have a job."
Farzar
"You're my girlfriend."
Farzar
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