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Clips from South Park - Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods (S02E02)

"Children, were you paying attention?"
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"- It's boring! - Yeah, all the constillations look alike!"
South Park
"Well Cheesy Poofs is looking for a kid to sing the happy Cheesy Poof song."
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"I can sing the cheesy poof song!"
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"Ok children let's quiet down, so the bus driver can consentrate on the road."
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"Ow... geezes lady!"
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"Ok children, now I'm going to remind you this is a planetarium."
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"who can sing the Cheesy Poof Song better than anybody."
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"Come on Eric, we're going to the planetarium."
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"But I have to go sing the cheesy poof song for that talent vaaann!!!!"
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"But I wanna sing the cheesy poof song!!! You guys seriously!!!!"
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"Now stars are actually made of hot gas."
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"...love cheesy poofs, if we didn't eat cheesy poofs we'd be lame."
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"Excuse me but I do believe that sucked ass."
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"-Ahh dude! Who the hell are you? - My name is..."
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"- Can't...can't... - Alright dude, mellow out, geez."
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"- Well whatever happened to him, happened at the planetarium. - Ahh planetarium!"
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"I think tonight the planetarium's doing laser Logins, I might have to check it out."
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"- Where have you been Cartman? - Well I might have been over at the Cheesy Poof call back,"
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"This is my regional championship certificate. Do you like it?"
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"Hey, where's your regional champion certificate Clyde? Oh you don't have one?"
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"- mouth is flapping too. - Your haiku insults have no affect on me Kyle."
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"It's between me and four other kids. I'm on my way now with my mom to the finals."
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"- perform on TV. - Very good Kyle."
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"Shut your god damn mouth..."
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"- Here you see pollarus, the dog star. - I'm just gonna step outside and go wee-wee."
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"Come on, we gotta get out of here before something bad happens."
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"- Don't pick your nose, hon. - I wasn't picking it, I had a itch for cryin out loud."
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"I hope so honey. Then perhaps we can eat for a little while."
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"Sike!"
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"- Mr.Garrison? - Well I guess I could give them extra credit for it."
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"Come on, we gotta see what's going on in there."
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"Oh dude!"
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"- Dude I told you something was up with this place! - We gotta go tell somebody quick!"
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"She was hogged by the money... on the street hooray!"
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"- insane. - Thank you."
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"Please nurse, for a woman with a dead fetus on your head, you're not being very openminded."
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"- I'm here with the planetarium operator, Dr.Adams. - Thank you,"
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"That's a pretty far fetched story, boys."
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"- To not be Elvis will cause you great pain. - Pain."
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"- He's not highly intelligent. - Why are you doing this, dude?"
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"Terrance and Phillip will be right back after these announcements."
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"- Mr.Mackey! - Officer Barbrady, this man is using some kind of mind control."
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"Ay didn't you guys see it? I was on television!"
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"Wow, what a day this has been, I was on TV and I'm a hero."
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"I just hope that next time, I don't have to run so much."
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"Ok children, what do you think Barneby Jones"
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"meant when he said this is not a victimless crime?"
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"Anybody?"
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"Mr.Garrison, we've been watching Barneby Jones repeats for 8 days now."
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"It's hard to keep paying attention."
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"Oh well excuse me Kyle. Why don't you just forget what Barneby Jones has to say."
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"Why don't you not pay attention to Barneby Jones and let's see how far you get in society."
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"Ok Stanley, why don't you tell us how Barneby Jones knew the poison was in the milk."
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"Can't we just be like normal third graders for a little while?"
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"Oh, and what do you consider normal?"
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"I dunno, like learn about Art and Music and go on field trips and stuff."
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"Well Mr.Smartypants, it just so happens we ARE going on a field trip tomorrow."
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"- To where? - To the planetarium."
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"- Planetarium sucks. - Aw now what's wrong with the planetarium?"
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"Well too bad. You're all going to the planetarium tomorrow and you're all going to love it."
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"In the meantime we're going to watch episode number 203, Barneby Under Siege."
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"Oh sorry, I taped these at home so there's more commercials."
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"Hey kids, do you love Cheesy Poofs?"
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"Watch for our talent van as it goes around the country!"
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"If you win, you can be picked to be in our next Cheesy Poof commercial!"
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"So remember I love cheesy poofs, you love cheesy poofs"
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"if we didn't eat cheesy poofs we'd be lame..."
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"That ain't how you do it! It goes like this!"
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"SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!!!!!"
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"THERE'S THE PLANETARIUM!!!"
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"Not a bancock bravo. Let's behave ourselves."
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"Does your kid have what it takes to be the next Cheesy Poofs anthem singer?"
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"- Hey there it is! - We're going around the country trying to find the kid"
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"I can sing the cheesy poof song with both hands tied behind my back!"
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"You couldn't get both your arms behind your back fatass!"
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"No you have to in this building and see a bunch of stupid stars, now come on."
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"Hello children, my name is Dr.Adams. Welcome to the plane-arium."
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"- I thought it was planeTArium. - Well it is,"
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"but I have a bone disease, which impedes me to pronounce the T in plane-arium."
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"That's a pretty weird bone disease."
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"Yes perhaps some day I can get a bone marrow transplant."
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"- Yes, little boy? - How long is that Cheesy Poof van gonna be outside?"
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"Well I don't know, but anyway boys and girls soon you'll be witnessing"
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"the wonders of the universe."
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"Ah man screw this."
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"Now breath deep as the stars slowly start to move in little circles."
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"I know that you think plane-ariums are boring,"
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"but I'm gonna try to change the way you think about that."
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"That was great Tommy. Tommy Fresc from Tory Pines, he could be our winner."
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"- Oh, and what's your name, little boy? - Eric Cartman."
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"Alright here's Eric Cartman giving it a shot."
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"Ahem... I love Cheesy Poofs, you love Cheesy Poofs, if we didn't eat Cheesy Poofs,"
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"Don't forget we have laser rock shows tonight at the plane-arium."
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"This week is laser Kenny Logins and laser James Taylor."
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"- My head still feels funny. - Yeah me too."
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"You guys, when I'm doing that Cheesy Poof commercial,"
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"I bet I get all the Cheesy Poofs I want."
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"- Like you really need it hippoass. - It's sad how jealous you are Kyle, it really is."
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"- Van Gather... - Van Gather? What the hell you doing on our bus?"
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"Mr.Garrison there's some freaky kid from the planetarium on our bus!"
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"Oh great then I guess we'll have to go back."
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"No! Don't go back! No!"
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"- Hey be careful asshole! - Please don't take me back there!"
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"We better get him to the nurse's office, stacked!"
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"- Planetarium... - I'll give him a pain killer. That should calm him down."
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"No no no pain killer! I'll be ok!"
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"Oh um ok, Van Galder, I'm counselor Mackey,"
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"have you been smoking marijuna? Marijuana's bad, mmkay?"
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"Well I've never seen anything like this. What do you think Principal?"
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"- Oh man this is boring. - Yeah, who the heck finds this stuff interesting?"
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"- Dude this is totally killer. - I hope this goes on for 7 months or something."
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"You will not remember what happens here. To remember it will cause incredible pain."
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"Incredible pain."
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"Incredible icky pain!"
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"- Dude, I'm totally tripping... - Yeah, it's totally killer."
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"Today children we are going to learn about Japenese poems called haikus."
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"A haiku is just like a normal American poem except"
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"that it doesn't rhyme and it's totally stupid."
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"For example... uh... Where's Eric Cartman?"
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