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Clips from NewsRadio - Flowers for Matthew (S05E05)

"You finished with the comics yet?"
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"Joe took it into the break room."
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"DAVE: Hey, Joe, what's with the coffee--?"
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"Oh, no."
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"that society will thank me for later."
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"What, you're building a robot"
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"Listen, man, I don't bring my home life into work."
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"amino acids, and herbal extracts together,"
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"that actually increases human intelligence."
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"Ah, the search for the elusive homemade smart drink."
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"MATTHEW: Hey, guys, what up?"
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"Oh. Oh, ho-ho."
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""What's incredible, Max?""
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"Yes? I didn't ask."
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"Lisa, can you be trusted to keep a secret?"
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"You haven't told anyone, have you?"
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"No."
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"Last week, you told me you wanted a soul mate."
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"Yes. A soul mate to have sex with."
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"Does that car come with a V8?"
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"Oh, yeah? Well, is it working for you?"
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"Considering that Joe made it, and I have no idea what's in it,"
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"Quick question, Dave."
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"that this is the sort of thing"
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"Oh, I don't know about never ever."
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"What?"
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"Well, that's--"
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"That's very flattering, of course."
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"Matthew, is there another story you'd rather do?"
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"Ha, ha, huh? Heh, heh."
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""11:35 a.m.,"
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"Why? Don't know. Don't care."
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"Because Max is afraid"
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"that if he tells you the truth and you just--"
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"A billion dollars a year in revenue"
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"Never better. DAVE: Uh-huh."
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"You fellas have a good time talking about me in there?"
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"No, like a deaf person."
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"That kind of wrote itself."
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"all these books at the same time?"
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"Yep."
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"No."
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"Then don't tell me how to do it."
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"Hello, you little steak."
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"I just had a very interesting conversation with Lisa."
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"Lisa who?"
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"What?"
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"[LAUGHS]"
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"Wait a minute. But if she is in love with you,"
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"See, well, my theory is that she wants to see"
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"No. She's a slippery one, Beth."
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"I just hope I can slip out of her hands."
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"Okay."
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"Oh, I was skeptical in the beginning too."
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"Right."
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"Honestly, Dave? I've never felt more alive."
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"masquerading as bourgeois intellectual discourse,"
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"Out of line?"
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"why don't you play along?"
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"Absolutely not."
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"No, no, no. No, no, no. Absolutely not."
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"No, it's not. I don't have anything"
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"Tell her the truth, okay? It'll be good for you."
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"I appreciate that. And--"
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"to make my body your plaything!"
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"[♪]"
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"Once you realize Lord Vader represents McNamara"
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"I came up with that metaphor realizing the best way"
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"to explain triangular diplomacy to you"
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"You know, I hate to admit this, but it worked."
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"I can appreciate that. Yeah?"
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"If you'd prefer, you can call me Smatthew."
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"Now, see, here it falls apart"
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"Kissinger? Exactly."
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"While losses were heavy and brokers pessimistic,"
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"I'm sorry. I panicked."
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"Doesn't matter. That was beyond inappropriate."
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"Ugh!"
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"Both. Both."
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"About this massive lie you have fabricated."
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"I can't."
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"You are pathetic."
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"Just a few more tests."
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"Joe, you wanna see something cool? Okay."
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"Are you sure? I'm on it. Call 911."
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"No need."
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"Just a little parlor trick to amuse you, my friends."
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"If I lie to you, you'll just see right through it, right?"
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"I'm afraid so."
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"Oh, well, then to be honest, no."
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"I kind of avoided socializing with the old Matthew"
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"I don't have a crush on him."
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"You know what? You're right. You're right."
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"Well, I have to admit that that stuff is responsible"
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"In fact, I'm gonna go have a chat with Smatthew"
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"And I just wanna sit at my little desk"
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"quiet as a mouse,"
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"There, there."
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"Try Euripides."
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"You've read Euripides?"
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"I took a long lunch."
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"Ouch. Ouch. Ouch."
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"Oh, I knew this was going to happen."
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"that the drink would make him smarter."
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"because he'll believe anything, and thus, it worked."
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"as long as he doesn't know he's in midair."
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"I just needed a cartoon metaphor to help little David understand."
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"Ouch. Wha--?"
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"[♪]"
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"Hi."
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"Hi, Beth. Hey, Max."
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"[CLEARS THROAT]"
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"Listen, I have something to tell you"
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"Lisa doesn't have a crush on me."
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"So you just lied to me over and over and over?"
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"Sort of."
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"Why?"
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"Because I was embarrassed."
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"Well, then you forgive me?"
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"So how'd that go?"
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