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Clips from NewsRadio - Flowers for Matthew (S05E05)

Who's "Smatthew"?

"Who's "Smatthew"?"

NewsRadio

He kind of fades in and out on me.

"He kind of fades in and out on me."

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I know you did, David. But don't be sad.

"I know you did, David. But don't be sad."

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Let's try to enjoy Smatthew's beauty

"Let's try to enjoy Smatthew's beauty"

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You know, I kind of wish

"You know, I kind of wish"

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you could have met the other Matthew.

"you could have met the other Matthew."

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Yeah, yeah.

"Yeah, yeah."

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No.

"No."

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How about now?

"How about now?"

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Hey, here, read this.

"Hey, here, read this."

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Well, sometimes they have comics on the editorial pages.

"Well, sometimes they have comics on the editorial pages."

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Yeah, but those are always about that donkey

"Yeah, but those are always about that donkey"

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Hey, where's the coffee maker?

"Hey, where's the coffee maker?"

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What--? What, is it broken?

"What--? What, is it broken?"

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Well, how the hell should I know?

"Well, how the hell should I know?"

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I beg your pardon?

"I beg your pardon?"

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I'm sorry, David. I just,

"I'm sorry, David. I just,"

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I haven't had my "Sally Forth" yet.

"I haven't had my "Sally Forth" yet."

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Relax, dude. This is all part of an experiment

"Relax, dude. This is all part of an experiment"

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with a coffee maker for a head? What?

"with a coffee maker for a head? What?"

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So what's the point of this experiment?

"So what's the point of this experiment?"

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My hypothesis is as follows:

"My hypothesis is as follows:"

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By combining certain vitamins,

"By combining certain vitamins,"

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Hey, what's with the banana peels?

"Hey, what's with the banana peels?"

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Oh, that's for the test subject. Test?

"Oh, that's for the test subject. Test?"

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Relax, dude. It's not like I'm testing cosmetics on him.

"Relax, dude. It's not like I'm testing cosmetics on him."

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Sure, not anymore.

"Sure, not anymore."

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Man, even I admitted that was wrong.

"Man, even I admitted that was wrong."

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but don't worry, I took care of it.

"but don't worry, I took care of it."

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And, Joe, what are we to have learned from this?

"And, Joe, what are we to have learned from this?"

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The results are inconclusive at this juncture.

"The results are inconclusive at this juncture."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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That's a very handsome tie you're wearing, Max.

"That's a very handsome tie you're wearing, Max."

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Oh. Well, thank you.

"Oh. Well, thank you."

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I was about to say the same to you.

"I was about to say the same to you."

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Oh, you're a silly little man, Max Lewis.

"Oh, you're a silly little man, Max Lewis."

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Well, I'm glad you asked, Lisa.

"Well, I'm glad you asked, Lisa."

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You like Beth.

"You like Beth."

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You did, yesterday,

"You did, yesterday,"

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and the day before, and the day before that.

"and the day before, and the day before that."

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If you like Beth, just ask her out.

"If you like Beth, just ask her out."

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Well, so she likes you as a friend.

"Well, so she likes you as a friend."

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But what I need is sex.

"But what I need is sex."

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Max, I don't wanna be a confidante, okay?

"Max, I don't wanna be a confidante, okay?"

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I know, but it--

"I know, but it--"

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At least try to make your lies plausible.

"At least try to make your lies plausible."

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Okay, I'm sorry. I panicked.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I panicked."

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Smart drink. Joe made it for me.

"Smart drink. Joe made it for me."

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but I drank three quarts of it anyway, probably not.

"but I drank three quarts of it anyway, probably not."

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Touché. Anyway,

"Touché. Anyway,"

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I was looking at this story assignment that you gave me,

"I was looking at this story assignment that you gave me,"

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And it kind of occurred to me

"And it kind of occurred to me"

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You know, maybe keep me out of your hair.

"You know, maybe keep me out of your hair."

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Well, you know, it sounds to me

"Well, you know, it sounds to me"

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like a very, very special story, Matthew.

"like a very, very special story, Matthew."

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One that only a very special reporter

"One that only a very special reporter"

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like yourself could handle.

"like yourself could handle."

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But simultaneously, a tad bit patronizing, no?

"But simultaneously, a tad bit patronizing, no?"

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Well, isn't it almost time

"Well, isn't it almost time"

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for our annual city budget review?

"for our annual city budget review?"

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Actually, that's correct.

"Actually, that's correct."

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That doesn't prove anything, Joe.

"That doesn't prove anything, Joe."

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What exactly is in that smart drink, Joe?

"What exactly is in that smart drink, Joe?"

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What's it worth to you?

"What's it worth to you?"

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You got scientific documentation?

"You got scientific documentation?"

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I just updated my data. Let's see.

"I just updated my data. Let's see."

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test subject now wicked smart."

"test subject now wicked smart.""

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Hey, Lisa, what's going on?

"Hey, Lisa, what's going on?"

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Three things are going on. One, Max likes you.

"Three things are going on. One, Max likes you."

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Two, he doesn't know how to tell you.

"Two, he doesn't know how to tell you."

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Three, he won't stop talking to me about it.

"Three, he won't stop talking to me about it."

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It's supposed to be a secret.

"It's supposed to be a secret."

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Wait a second. Why doesn't he just tell me he likes me?

"Wait a second. Why doesn't he just tell me he likes me?"

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Oh, God.

"Oh, God."

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Just when I think I'm out, they drag me back in.

"Just when I think I'm out, they drag me back in."

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Sorry. I guess I really should've disinfected

"Sorry. I guess I really should've disinfected"

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Check it out. The guy is reading four books at the same time.

"Check it out. The guy is reading four books at the same time."

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I'm see that. It's unbelievable.

"I'm see that. It's unbelievable."

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If this pans out, we're talking about a billion.

"If this pans out, we're talking about a billion."

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for James-Garelli Pharmaceuticals Inc.

"for James-Garelli Pharmaceuticals Inc."

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Jam-Arelli Pharmaceut Inc.

"Jam-Arelli Pharmaceut Inc."

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That sounds like a name people can trust.

"That sounds like a name people can trust."

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You read our lips like a computer?

"You read our lips like a computer?"

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of the figures for the next three years.

"of the figures for the next three years."

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What about this one?

"What about this one?"

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It's-- It's upside down.

"It's-- It's upside down."

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Mr. James, no offense,

"Mr. James, no offense,"

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but have you ever read four books at a time?

"but have you ever read four books at a time?"

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Hello, you big chicken.

"Hello, you big chicken."

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Lisa, who says you have a crush on me, Lisa.

"Lisa, who says you have a crush on me, Lisa."

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Hm.

"Hm."

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I don't have a crush on you. That would be juvenile.

"I don't have a crush on you. That would be juvenile."

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Because...

"Because..."

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Lisa's in love with me.

"Lisa's in love with me."

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What?

"What?"

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Her every move,

"Her every move,"

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her every emotion betrays her, her secret passion.

"her every emotion betrays her, her secret passion."

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Ah.

"Ah."

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what kind of a threat you pose.

"what kind of a threat you pose."

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I mean, we are dealing with

"I mean, we are dealing with"

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some pretty sick, twisted stuff here.

"some pretty sick, twisted stuff here."

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It's just so odd to me because I always got the impression

"It's just so odd to me because I always got the impression"

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that Lisa found you kind of annoying.

"that Lisa found you kind of annoying."

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No, David, I don't feel smarter. I am smarter.

"No, David, I don't feel smarter. I am smarter."

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Really?

"Really?"

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When Joe first gave me the drink,

"When Joe first gave me the drink,"

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I thought, "This is highly unlikely."

"I thought, "This is highly unlikely.""

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No, actually, my first thought was,

"No, actually, my first thought was,"

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"I wonder if there's a surprise in the bottom."

""I wonder if there's a surprise in the bottom.""

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But physically...?

"But physically...?"

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Mathematics, philosophy, literature.

"Mathematics, philosophy, literature."

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I finally understand National Public Radio, David.

"I finally understand National Public Radio, David."

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No, I understand that it's boring crap

"No, I understand that it's boring crap"

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and therefore not worth my time.

"and therefore not worth my time."

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I used to have a life of my own.

"I used to have a life of my own."

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I used to sit at my little desk and do my little job

"I used to sit at my little desk and do my little job"

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You told Beth I was in love with you.

"You told Beth I was in love with you."

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Well, I know. I-- I panicked. But--

"Well, I know. I-- I panicked. But--"

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It'll be good for her. It'll be wonderful

"It'll be good for her. It'll be wonderful"

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for me to have my life back.

"for me to have my life back."

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