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Clips from The Simpsons - Lisa the Skeptic (S09E09)

"I didn't like it. The mast had termites."
The Simpsons
"The thing, it was- Shut up!"
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"Whoo! There's that new mega-mall they're building."
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"They say the air conditioner will be more powerful than a million hydrogen bombs."
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"That's where they discovered all those fossils."
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"Fossils, schmossils."
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"But they might be paving over rare specimens."
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"Pull over so we can complain, Dad."
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"Come on! Who wants to complain with me?"
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"Fine. I'll come back later."
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"Who wants to come back with me?"
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"[Mutters] Fine."
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"- "Protection of Antiquities and Fossils." - That's right."
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"Museum folks dug 'em all up years ago."
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"But what if they missed something? You have to allow an archeological survey."
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"Who's gonna make us? You?"
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"- [Laughing] - [Laughing]"
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"May be we should let the kid dig. Could be good publicity."
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"[Indistinct Whispering]"
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"Okay. You wanna dig? Be my guest."
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"Principal Skinner, remember how I didn't sue..."
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"Mmm, I knew this day would come."
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"Conversely, all detention students will be punished..."
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"- Oh, no. Not tomorrow. - Oh, crud."
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"## [Ends]"
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"This is so exciting. I can't wait to see what we find."
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"Why, look! Here's something right here."
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"Oh, no. It's just a clump of dirt. [Chuckles]"
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"Even so, my heart is pounding like a kettle drum."
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"- [Gasps] - It's a spearhead!"
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"That's your trowel blade, Ralph. It fell off the handle."
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"- And I found it! - Okay, everyone, back to work!"
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"[Screams]"
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"Come on, kids. Let's go home to our mothers."
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"Don't give up. I'm sure we'll find something."
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"[Exclaims]"
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"- Hope it's not- - Let me through. I got here late."
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"[Crowd Chattering]"
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"Hmm, from the looks of it, I'd say this fellow died from causes unknown."
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"[Laughs]"
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"Look, there's more! What the heck is this thing?"
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"Speaking from a strictly medical point of view, that ain't right."
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"[Gasps] Oh, my goodness!"
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"You mean, like... an angel?"
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"Well, obviously, that's impossible."
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"- Lisa's right. It's an angel! - [Onlookers Gasp]"
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"uh- a Neanderthal who got bitten by some angry fish."
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"[Whiny Grunt]"
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"It sounds like you're strainir to do some explainir."
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"who's ever heard of a "Neanderthal"? [Chuckles]"
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"Oh, fiddle-faddle. Everyone knows our mutants have flippers."
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"Ooh, oops. I've said too much. [Clears Throat]"
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"- Smithers, use the amnesia ray. - You mean, the revolver, sir?"
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"- [Woman] Excuse me. - I'd like to hear from Lionel Hutz."
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"- the sacred bones- - [Horn Honking]"
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"Come on- Come on, angel."
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"- [Grunts] - What are you doing with that?"
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"I'll just leave it in here a few years..."
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"[Chugging, Sighs]"
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"We elected the wrong Can'ter."
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"nets Springfield's dumbest criminals."
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"He-Hey there, Marge. Just brought the kids over..."
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"to share a prayer with the blessed angel, if it's okay with you."
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"[Sighs] Thanks anyway, Homer."
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"- Oh, hello, Agnes. - Sorry to trouble you..."
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"but I'm goir in for surgery tomorrow..."
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"- It's foot surgery. - [Homer] Hey, I'm trying to eat here!"
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"- Beat it, peg leg! - Jackass!"
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"Marge."
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"- We wanna see the angel. - [Crowd Clamoring]"
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"##[Ends]"
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"Dad, it's not fair to claim this thing is an angel."
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"If you look carefully, you'll notice I never once used the word "angel.""
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"- What about that sign right there? - That's a typo."
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"Just let me take it to the museum for one day."
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"They can do scientific tests and prove it's not an angel."
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"Oh, no. We could lose out on bags and bags of money."
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"It's sacrilegious, I tell ya."
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"Wow, it's so lifelike."
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"[Gulps]"
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"[Man] Astonishing, simply astonishing."
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"But enough about my work. What did you want to show me, Lisa?"
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"It's a bone scraping from that skeleton I found."
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"The whole thing's preposterous, of course."
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"Quite preposterous. But no one will believe me until I can prove what it really is."
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"Um, you know, I can't afford to pay you."
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"I didn't become a scientist for financial gain."
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"Whatever little money you have will be just fine."
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"- ##[Recorded Music] - I say it's the Angel of Peace, you idiot."
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"Excuse me. I took a piece of the skeleton for scientific analysis."
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"- Soon we'll have all the facts. - You did what?"
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"Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything..."
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"that's even remotely true."
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"- Facts, schmacts. - [Panting]"
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"Ah, here's Dr. Gould now. What were the results, Professor?"
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"- Inconclusive. - "Inconclusive"?"
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"Can I use your bathroom? [Groans]"
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"Well, it appears science has faltered once again..."
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"Okay, folks. Get your "Angel Glow Sticks.""
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"Maybe so. But I'd appreciate it if you didn't call them morons."
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"- What grown person could believe in angels? - Well..."
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"your mother, for one."
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"It's not that I don't have a spiritual side."
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"I just find it hard to believe there's a dead angel hanging in our garage."
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"Hmmm. My poor Lisa."
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"If you can't make a leap of faith now and then..."
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"well, I feel sorry for you."
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"Don't feel sorry for me, Mom."
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"Our guest tonight, making her 13th appearance on Smartline..."
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"- Miss Lisa Simpson. - Kent."
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"Miss Simpson, how can you maintain your skepticism..."
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"in spite of the fact this thing really, really looks like an angel?"
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"I just think it's a fantasy."
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"If you believe in angels, then why not unicorns or sea monsters or leprechauns?"
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"Oh, that's a bunch of baloney, Lisa!"
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"Everyone knows leprechauns are extinct."
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"Look, you can either accept science and face reality..."
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"or you can believe in angels and live in a childish dreamworld."
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"Science- What's science ever done for us?"
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"Well, I say there are some things we don't wanna know- important things."
The Simpsons
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