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Clips from Scrubs - My Half-Acre (S05E05)

"What's going on?"
Scrubs
"Ted and I are putting together an air band for that contest."
Scrubs
"Someone's gotta win those water park tickets. Might as well be us."
Scrubs
"[Cymbal crash]"
Scrubs
"Well, Mrs. Nickels, it was an honor being your doctor."
Scrubs
"I'd love to set you up with my grandniece."
Scrubs
"She's single."
Scrubs
"Phew!"
Scrubs
"OK, Mrs. Nickels. Your new hip is on the house because this girl is amazing."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] So she was a bit of a klutz."
Scrubs
"Did you see that? Please say no."
Scrubs
"We had so much in common."
Scrubs
"Neither."
Scrubs
"My roommate. Back in one second."
Scrubs
"[Laughs]"
Scrubs
"One Mississippi. Two Mississippi..."
Scrubs
"Check it. Eagle!"
Scrubs
"Pay me in the morning."
Scrubs
"You used to do that all the time when we were dating."
Scrubs
"Which, by the way, I maintain is a compliment."
Scrubs
"[EIliot sighs]"
Scrubs
"Oh! Look! Will you say goodbye to Jack? I have to drop him off at preschool."
Scrubs
"Oh..."
Scrubs
"That's right. He is."
Scrubs
"I don't understand. Why wouldn't you kiss him?"
Scrubs
"- Stay out of what? - Dr. Cox won't kiss his son."
Scrubs
"Now, Mrs. Wilk, you have developed an allergy to melphalan."
Scrubs
"Oh, I think he described all the extra effort he put in"
Scrubs
"He won't care."
Scrubs
"[# Loverboy: Workin' For The Weekend]"
Scrubs
"Somethin' funny?"
Scrubs
"I don't know what it is, but he's got it."
Scrubs
"God, I feel so stupid."
Scrubs
"Hugsies."
Scrubs
"- Oh, my God! - Oh, gosh! Oh, here."
Scrubs
"So you got the second date. Just don't repeat the mistakes you made with me."
Scrubs
"Don't speed down the road and pretend your brakes are out."
Scrubs
"Telling me what to say. Next you'll tell me how to kiss. Where does it end?"
Scrubs
"Mrs. London, this is Dr. Cox. He's going to be your doctor."
Scrubs
"Can you believe we've been talking two hours?"
Scrubs
"I set the clock two hours ahead so you'd think time was flying by."
Scrubs
"Smile."
Scrubs
"Oh, God, this mask is hot."
Scrubs
"Thanks for doing that."
Scrubs
"So, what do you want to do now?"
Scrubs
"My God, look at the size of her feet. Tell her. Stop it!"
Scrubs
"OK, the silence has gone on too long."
Scrubs
"Back in your cage, Ted."
Scrubs
"Turkelton, I need you to volunteer to speak at a critical care conference."
Scrubs
"It's not like you're the king around here."
Scrubs
"[J.D. Sighs]"
Scrubs
"Oh, really? 'Cause I just got your text that said "bone city.""
Scrubs
"Oh, really? That came through?"
Scrubs
"So, come on, tell me."
Scrubs
"Well, that sounds familiar."
Scrubs
"I think there's a tchotchke in my bum."
Scrubs
"Right! In your face! [laughs]"
Scrubs
"[Whispers] Thank you."
Scrubs
"I like Julie, so don't do that thing you always do."
Scrubs
"If you're referring to the game Find the Saltine, relax."
Scrubs
"I knew he'd be trouble."
Scrubs
"When Mrs. Wilk was allergic to melphalan, you found a way around it."
Scrubs
"Leaving."
Scrubs
"And you will have to treat that Jehovah's Witness."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] Why do I care what Elliot thinks? She's not right about everything."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] Ooh, land for sale."
Scrubs
"ending with a gay son who's written a scathing musical about me"
Scrubs
"- Lonnie, what are you doing? - Since Dr. Cox won't treat Mrs. London,"
Scrubs
"That includes you, Mrs. London. I will save your life."
Scrubs
"and an unopened pack of Les Mis trading cards."
Scrubs
"I hate you, Whit Prowdy."
Scrubs
"[All] Cool cats."
Scrubs
"It was extremely disrespectful,"
Scrubs
"and I can promise you it will never happen again."
Scrubs
"Jordan expects me to be this amazing, sensitive father."
Scrubs
"Better."
Scrubs
"How'd you know I'd move too fast with Julie?"
Scrubs
"How'd you know Kelso just wanted respect?"
Scrubs
"[J.D.] It's important we listen to people who know us best,"
Scrubs
"because if you do, you might get to rock."
Scrubs
"- [Mumbling] - [Laughing]"
Scrubs
"I love ya. I love you so much, I'm going to make a sandwich out of you."
Scrubs
"- Where you going? - "Dad's gonna devour me. See you.""
Scrubs
"She is not graceful."
Scrubs
"OK. We'll be in touch."
Scrubs
"Two good reasons: His face and personality."
Scrubs
"Sticks and stones may break my bones..."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] But words will hurt forever."
Scrubs
"I'd need to know a lot more about her."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] My blind date should be here any second."
Scrubs
"I gotta thank Mrs. Nickels for setting this up."
Scrubs
"Oh, Mrs. Nickels, you blue-haired bitch."
Scrubs
"And yet there's something so accessible about her."
Scrubs
"I wonder what it is."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] From that moment on, it was the greatest date ever."
Scrubs
"I ride a scooter, I love Harry Potter so much I sometimes wish I was a wizard"
Scrubs
"and I've hated sports since I was a kid."
Scrubs
"Sometimes."
Scrubs
"So do you want me to see if they'll give us some more coffee"
Scrubs
"or do you want to just call it a night?"
Scrubs
"[J.D.] And then she gave the world's best answer."
Scrubs
"[Door opens]"
Scrubs
"So I guess your date sucked, huh?"
Scrubs
"Why don't you ask her if our date sucked? She's in my room."
Scrubs
"Twenty bucks says you blow it in five minutes."
Scrubs
"Unlikely, 'cause what's waiting for me in my room"
Scrubs
"is what's known in football terms as a slam dunk."
Scrubs
"It's late. I gotta get going. I have a dog and a fish."
Scrubs
"I have to feed them and walk them and stuff. I'm Julie. Hi."
Scrubs
"I was Elliot."
Scrubs
"Twenty bucks, please."
Scrubs
"OK, double or nothing. I'll bet you I can jump from this couch to the counter."
Scrubs
"Why would Julie just take off like that? I'll bet you my body intimidated her."
Scrubs
"That's it. I am selling that Bowflex on Craigslist."
Scrubs
"I'm sure you said something that sucked all the romance out of the moment."
Scrubs
"Are you getting thicker? You feel a little thicker."
Scrubs
"Fine, I may have told her that she smells like my mom."
Scrubs
"- What are you talking about? - Well, J.D. Has this..."
Scrubs
"Already bored."
Scrubs
"Bye, little man."
Scrubs
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