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Clips from Scrubs - My Coffee (S06E06)

"And so is this. Way to hit that, playah!"
Scrubs
"- So sorry. - Relax, it's just sex."
Scrubs
"We should be able to talk about it."
Scrubs
"That's gonna be an awkward birthday party."
Scrubs
"Do not tell my daughter she has a vagina! I'm serious."
Scrubs
"Why?"
Scrubs
"only I have no hands."
Scrubs
"- With my head. - How great is that?"
Scrubs
"She lost her thumbs last month"
Scrubs
"So, what am I supposed to do, just duke you my change"
Scrubs
"Well, I tell you what, my friend, unless you're also planning on giving me"
Scrubs
"a complimentary reach-around with my beverage,"
Scrubs
"Why don't you go fetch me a very large cup of coffee"
Scrubs
"with so damn many fake sugars in it that the coffee itself gets cancer?"
Scrubs
"Guys, guys, I've got a good one. Is it me or does someone..."
Scrubs
"...someone need to switch to decaf? ...someone need to switch to decaf?"
Scrubs
"You actually stood up for me."
Scrubs
"But now I'm forced to ask,"
Scrubs
"ALL: "Who are you and what have you done with Turk?""
Scrubs
"She's so beautiful. Can I hold her?"
Scrubs
"That's up to Turk."
Scrubs
"Yeah, you've got decent hands. Go ahead."
Scrubs
"Elliot. Ted, give it!"
Scrubs
"Besides now."
Scrubs
"(SCREAMS)"
Scrubs
"Wait, one moresie!"
Scrubs
"So, Carla, how much time do you think you'll take off?"
Scrubs
"Look at this little angel. I may never go back to work."
Scrubs
"Actually, it's Dr. Turner."
Scrubs
"You look like someone I used to date."
Scrubs
"I had a brief "older guy" Jones,"
Scrubs
"but now I'm with someone more age-appropriate"
Scrubs
"We are disgusting."
Scrubs
"Yeah, but for some reason, I was curious."
Scrubs
"- Anyhoo, we'll just run the usual tests. - Sounds good."
Scrubs
"You know, like if you left Brad Pitt out in the sun forever."
Scrubs
"Blondie, he is private practice."
Scrubs
"who don't give two shakes about anybody else's opinion but their own."
Scrubs
"- Is that a tip jar? - Look."
Scrubs
"I'm figuring if those lumps down at the coffee shop can have one, I can, too."
Scrubs
"but he is a doctor and doctors make terrible patients."
Scrubs
"Sooner or later, they all try to treat themselves."
Scrubs
"- Perry, a quick word... - Bobbo, no time!"
Scrubs
"Gotta go tell Mr. Clancy that his tumor is benign."
Scrubs
"Should be worth a finsky. What do you think?"
Scrubs
"Dr. Kelso, as spokesman for the support staff of this hospital,"
Scrubs
"Stop filling your children's heads with nonsense."
Scrubs
"Pull them out of high school"
Scrubs
"and teach them a trade like plumbing or undertaking."
Scrubs
"- We want a dental plan. - Dental is for old people."
Scrubs
"One, two..."
Scrubs
"Lovely. No."
Scrubs
"Rudy, did you tear an actual tooth out of your head?"
Scrubs
"We're all faking it, man. What are you..."
Scrubs
"Okay, don't worry. You know what?"
Scrubs
"We're gonna be all right."
Scrubs
"That's what we get for playing a bunch of G's from the hood."
Scrubs
"Yeah."
Scrubs
"to celebrate my good sportsmanship."
Scrubs
"Yeah, well, you know what?"
Scrubs
"Could you guys look at my shoulder? I tweaked it pretty good."
Scrubs
"First you dunk on me and yell, "Who's your bitch?""
Scrubs
"Now you want free medical advice?"
Scrubs
"Done and done."
Scrubs
"Look, as a doctor,"
Scrubs
"I know that you're gonna be tempted to want to treat yourself,"
Scrubs
"and I just want you to know that's not gonna fly with me."
Scrubs
"I'd like to start you on 25 grams of Lopressor."
Scrubs
"- But 25 grams would kill me. - I know."
Scrubs
"- But it's still a test. - Fine."
Scrubs
"All right, relax. You're fine. Just ice it when you get home."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry, Cotton Candy Man,"
Scrubs
"- Do I smell blue? - Just added the dye."
Scrubs
"You crafty, crafty man! That is fluffing up nicely."
Scrubs
"Hey, give me some money. I'm jonesing for some C-squared."
Scrubs
"You don't want my "back-alley money," do you?"
Scrubs
"All right, let's see your disgusting rash."
Scrubs
"Blueberries taste fresh."
Scrubs
"Hint of lemon zest. I'm intrigued."
Scrubs
"And, unfortunately, processed flour. No, thank you."
Scrubs
"Yep. Thank you."
Scrubs
"- Nice braces. - Yeah."
Scrubs
"You're not worried about the spider monkeys?"
Scrubs
"So, Dr. Turner said that I am a very talented young physician."
Scrubs
"Aren't we sharing fantastic lies"
Scrubs
"we choose to believe for personal reasons?"
Scrubs
"He's actually a very deferential patient."
Scrubs
"Instead of surgery, I'm treating his AAA with drugs."
Scrubs
"Dope!"
Scrubs
"I don't care if we had extra coffee money left over,"
Scrubs
"I don't feel right taking that guy's cash."
Scrubs
"Dude, stop stressing. See you later."
Scrubs
"Greetings, customer! What can I get you?"
Scrubs
""They may deceive you.""
Scrubs
"No, he didn't. Tell him."
Scrubs
"What would you like me to say?"
Scrubs
"I'm just gonna go ahead and tip myself for calling this one."
Scrubs
"Maybe that wasn't just a rash on Cotton Candy Man."
Scrubs
"I don't like to be a burden to the people I care about."
Scrubs
"Isabella, this is the man you'll be competing with for your father's love."
Scrubs
"- Baby, he's using his emergency tone. - Go ahead, I have to feed her anyway."
Scrubs
"My breasts are so sore. I wish I could just give you formula."
Scrubs
"His rash was probably purpura"
Scrubs
"from disseminated intravascular coagulopathy,"
Scrubs
"and I missed it, Turk. I'm screwed."
Scrubs
"Okay, you go in there and take care of things. I'll..."
Scrubs
"and think about all the things I'll miss about being a doctor."
Scrubs
"The light cotton outfits, the free gauze."
Scrubs
"He's gone."
Scrubs
"Are they gonna come in and shave me soon?"
Scrubs
"- I'm still your primary physician. - No, Kershnar's my lead now."
Scrubs
"I think surgery is the right choice."
Scrubs
"What? Did you give him cue cards?"
Scrubs
"That way he gets it exactly right."
Scrubs
"Now, how about somebody gets me"
Scrubs
"a banana nut muffin and hold the spit, please."
Scrubs
"As manager, I reserve the right to refuse service to anyone."
Scrubs
"Manager?"
Scrubs
"Smoke-accino for Kyle."
Scrubs
"Kyle? Smoke-accino for Kyle. Enjoy that."
Scrubs
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