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Clips from Scrubs - My Coffee (S06E06)

"I discovered that I could sex my pregnant girlfriend into a coma."
Scrubs
"Carla discovered that her baby"
Scrubs
"wasn't the only one who loved breast-feeding."
Scrubs
"Dr. Kelso discovered change was not always welcome."
Scrubs
"Admittedly, not a horrible idea,"
Scrubs
"out of having to identify the freshly-charred remains of your father."
Scrubs
"Now I'm at the end of both lines."
Scrubs
"You could see the bone."
Scrubs
"Hey, Kim."
Scrubs
"Just checking to see if your socks are back on"
Scrubs
"since I knocked them off last night."
Scrubs
"I'm not telling Isabella she's got a vagina till she turns 18."
Scrubs
"Yeah, I just don't think the department head here is ever gonna promote me."
Scrubs
"Dr. Lemke, you're gonna love this."
Scrubs
"We're a husband and wife piano-playing team,"
Scrubs
"On the bright side, you have beautiful nubs."
Scrubs
"A tip jar? Really?"
Scrubs
"because you poured hot water through beans?"
Scrubs
"Here's a novel idea."
Scrubs
"Lay off of Elliot. She doesn't watch as much old TV as we do."
Scrubs
"- Stop finishing my awesome jokes! - Oh, my god."
Scrubs
"He's kind of paranoid about people dropping her."
Scrubs
"(LAUGHING)"
Scrubs
"I'm next."
Scrubs
"When do..."
Scrubs
"I heard suckling."
Scrubs
"and I'm like, "What was I thinking?""
Scrubs
"They're me, with one addendum, they're whores."
Scrubs
"And I'm not talking about the good kind of whores, like my ex-wife."
Scrubs
"They're whores for money."
Scrubs
"Listen to me, you may like Turner right now,"
Scrubs
"- Where the hell did you all come from? - Sneak attack."
Scrubs
"You can put your shoes on again, guys, nice work."
Scrubs
"I have a request."
Scrubs
"I do not want to hear any more about a college scholarship fund."
Scrubs
"I've got a jar of monkey teeth in my workbench. What's that, molar?"
Scrubs
"Those guys are Indian."
Scrubs
"So, Rajesh isn't one of those cool, black-only names like, "Anfernee"?"
Scrubs
"No, Rajesh is like "Steve" in India."
Scrubs
"Why are we stopping?"
Scrubs
"I can't be buying you stuff all the time."
Scrubs
"Yeah, well, I'm very close to a tantrum."
Scrubs
"How did I not know these guys were Indian?"
Scrubs
"I'll give you 20 bucks."
Scrubs
"Who's the new guy?"
Scrubs
"This is Dr. Kershnar from my practice."
Scrubs
"Elliot Reid, I was telling you about. Give her a wave. Attaboy. So..."
Scrubs
"on your abdominal aortic aneurism's gonna be too aggressive."
Scrubs
"- Don't you mean 25 milligrams? - There, see?"
Scrubs
"You're already trying to treat yourself. That was a test."
Scrubs
"(EXCLAIMS)"
Scrubs
"Zoom?"
Scrubs
"Put that away, Turk! That's back-alley money!"
Scrubs
"- Relax. - Hey!"
Scrubs
"but unlike my friend here, I have no interest in being sued for..."
Scrubs
"You heartless bastard."
Scrubs
"It's probably just eczema. One blue, please."
Scrubs
"I'd like to see the blueberry again."
Scrubs
"I have a non-fat latte with room for schnapps for Janitor?"
Scrubs
"Is anybody planning on emptying that?"
Scrubs
""Never underestimate those around you for they may betray you. ""
Scrubs
"And here we are."
Scrubs
"Even though Kershnar's signature is on the chart,"
Scrubs
"this is the gentleman who ordered the surgery."
Scrubs
"Turk, I need you and I need you now."
Scrubs
"Goochy-goochy-goo. Turk, now!"
Scrubs
"TODD: (WHISPERING) Formula's bad for the baby. Boob milk's healthier."
Scrubs
"Somebody shot him."
Scrubs
"You don't scare me."
Scrubs
"Eventually, you will all come crawling back."
Scrubs
"are caffeine and nicotine."
Scrubs
"Behold."
Scrubs
"And, thirdly, how could you go to the mall without me?"
Scrubs
"Well, I don't see you giving the money back to Cotton Candy Man."
Scrubs
"As a matter of fact, I already did."
Scrubs
"You know the worst thing about Turner's surgery?"
Scrubs
"I'm gonna be right, but he's gonna die. It'll be a hollow victory."
Scrubs
"If I got to be right"
Scrubs
"and have a private practice doctor die due to his own idiocy,"
Scrubs
"- Banana nut muffin, please. - Sir, I've been told not to serve you."
Scrubs
"(IN SQUEAKY VOICE) Hey! Just take me."
Scrubs
"You're Bob Kelso. Just grab me and run."
Scrubs
"I caught it! That counts."
Scrubs
"I'm gonna go hold the crap out of that baby!"
Scrubs
"Why are you being so weird lately?"
Scrubs
"and now you're worried about your hand?"
Scrubs
"I asked them to help me out for emphasis."
Scrubs
"Seriously, what's going on?"
Scrubs
"Why didn't he listen?"
Scrubs
"I thought that you hated him."
Scrubs
"You know, Reid, you had the cojones to stand up to me,"
Scrubs
"unlike Kershnar, whom I've so demoralized"
Scrubs
"Anyway, I've got enough yes-men, you've got a spine, join my practice."
Scrubs
"In seven months, I'm gonna have a family, too."
Scrubs
"so I know I can handle it when my turn comes."
Scrubs
"- Totally fine. - Yeah."
Scrubs
"I mean, I looked everywhere. There was no signs of balloons."
Scrubs
"... or taking a new job."
Scrubs
"Because that way I can drop you off every morning."
Scrubs
"Nice!"
Scrubs
"Are you hungry, sweetie?"
Scrubs
"I could eat."
Scrubs
"A coffee place in a hospital?"
Scrubs
"What's next, Bob, an ice cream parlor in the morgue?"
Scrubs
"Plus, it'll be a perfect place for kids."
Scrubs
"Nobody else seems to mind."
Scrubs
"I should have worn sun block."
Scrubs
"Did you get tickets yet?"
Scrubs
"(GROANS)"
Scrubs
"Still, the best discovery"
Scrubs
"was learning that someone I drummed out of medicine had landed on his feet."
Scrubs
"Frontsies! Cabbage!"
Scrubs
"Hey, Dr. D!"
Scrubs
"That's what we call, "Cabbage-tastic.""
Scrubs
"Oh, I love this job."
Scrubs
"(EXCLAIMS)"
Scrubs
"How about a second of that dynamite ape impression?"
Scrubs
"Once he's in monkey mode you can't stop him."
Scrubs
"But who would want to, right? Cheers."
Scrubs
"That is so tacky."
Scrubs
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