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Clips from The Mighty Boosh - The Chokes (S03E03)

"Sammy! Sammy! Sammy!"
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"Sammy! Sammy!"
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"Howardl Howardl"
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"Howard, you can do it, dear boy."
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"You know you can. You're a great actor."
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"No!"
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"No! Aargh!"
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"No! No!"
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"Bravo!"
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"So much rage! So much anger!"
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"Oh, right. I just want to say I'm leaving. Jurgen's ofered me the part in his project."
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"I won't be coming back. Are you gonna be OK?"
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"I'll be fine. I'm not going back to the shop."
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"See you later, losers."
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"Come on, Bollo. We're almost there."
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"Come on."
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"One more. We're almost in."
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"Oh, my God."
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"- What? What's wrong? - Uh... nothing."
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"Vince Noir and The Black Tubes."
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"Unbelievable. His legs aren't even that thin."
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"- I thought you'd gone of to see Jurgen. - What can I say?"
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"- Yeah. Let's have the TV of, shall we? - Easy. Hang on a sec."
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"When I'm making my avant-garde films,"
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"I can often suffer from the pain of trapped wind. It can be very uncomfortable,"
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"Aarghl I am the angry crab of trapped windl"
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"Oohl Aarghl Oohl"
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"Oh, my sweet Lord."
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"Blast away the pain of trapped wind with these."
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"♪ I'm Sammy the Crab, I'm Sammy the Crab"
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"♪ I'm Sammy, I'm Sammy the Crab, I'm Sammy the Crab"
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"♪ One, two, three, four, I'm Sammy"
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"♪ I'm Sammy, I'm Sammy the Crab"
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"Yeah. We're really grateful for this. We've had a tough week."
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"- Finished him of. - Really? You've had a shocker."
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"Coming up next, a seven-hour documentary about Danish avant-garde cinema."
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"You don't know. Maybe if I don't use them, I'll drop a size."
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"Can you not mention Van Morrison?"
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"I've got to get in this band and they've got a drainpipe policy."
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"Never saw that. Have you seen Herbie Goes Bananas?"
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"Howard Moon, as I breathe and stink. How are you?"
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"I unleash my raw acting chops, blow Sammy of the stage,"
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"If you freeze, it's gonna be me carrying you out of there like a post."
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"Make the calll Fucking make the calll"
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"Yeahl"
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"I did a lot of French period drama before I worked in Megabowl."
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"What I did was I looked back to the most traumatic period of my life,"
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"And I took that emotion and I used it in the scene."
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"What, am I supposed to go to Megabowl with my socks on?"
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"I was in Home and Away."
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"Ah, the chokes. Old chokey. Chokus-pocus."
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"My God!"
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"- Montgomery Flange! - Ah, at your service."
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"You were the greatest actor of your generation."
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"- Damn right we would. - We have no time to lose. Let's go."
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"- Where? - To my secret woodland acting training area."
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"Acting."
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"Emotions."
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"Pain."
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"Sorrow."
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"Time for a break. Let's have a liquorice roly, a double brandy and bitch about the industry."
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"A pencil? No, no, no! Look, it's Niagara Falls. It's a seagull."
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"I don't know what to do. I can't make it into anything else. It's just a pencil, you old git!"
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"Oh, dear."
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"This is the worst case of chokes I've ever laid my eyes on."
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"Ow! Oh! I shouldn't have done that."
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"Oh! Heart attack."
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"What? I was involved in an acting montage."
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"Who are you? Zorro on gay night?"
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"- Ride me like a blue horse. - OK. I'm sorry, Howard."
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"- See you. - Yeah!"
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"Whoa, Vince, ride me!"
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"Ten-minute call for the Blue McEnroe group. This is your ten-minute call."
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"Hey, I hear you're casting for your new acting project. You know, I used to act."
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"I'm a big actor. Look."
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"Naboo the Enigma and his beautiful assistant Bollo"
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"- Where's it from this week, Naboo? - Egypt."
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"- Bollo. - Mm?"
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"Oi, Scissorhands."
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"Sammy's going mental."
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"Bravo!"
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"It was at this moment that I realised I had found the man for my next project."
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"- What's going on? - Bollo's helping me put my trousers on."
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"- Hey. - What are you doing here?"
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"♪ I'm Sammy, I'm Sammy the Crab, I'm Sammy, Sammy the Crab"
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"- then got backed over by a wizard in a van. - 12 times."
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"and accidentally Photoshopped my own head over your dead singer's face."
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"Black Tubes? That's just men in tight trousers howling."
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"It's not just music. It's about cabaret now, it's coming back."
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"- His eyes are on stalks. - Yeah, he uses that to his advantage."
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"Give me a break. All I need is one shot. It's my number-one dream to work with Jurgen."
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"Just let me release a couple of my chops for Jurgen tonight, please."
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"I've got some ideas on how to get your pins down."
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"I've a good mind to thrash you, so you'd better explain yourself before I do."
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"Rave reviews, the lot. I wanted this part. I wanted it so bad."
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"Are you training to be a football manager? Are you Terry Venables? No, no, no, no, no."
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"It was the part of a crab."
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"Look at it. Have you ever seen a crab like it?"
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"Howard Moon, actor, at your service."
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"- You're looking well. - Mm. I've been working out."
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"- Adam. - Yeah?"
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"Windy Blast Fast."
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"One, two, three, four."
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"♪ Come with us to "The Mighty Boosh""
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"- Perhaps just one chop. - All right."
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"throw him into a huge cooking pot and eat the little pink wanker!"
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"If I train you, get rid of the chokes, we'd be sticking it to Sammy?"
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"like having an angry crab scuttle from side to side in my tummy space."
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"I jump over the neighbour's fence, take his cat and twist his neck."
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"Just twist it a little bit, then twist it some more,"
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"Confidence shattered, lost my wife."
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"You've found it again. One of the rungs is missing. Who did this?!"
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"- Get us a beer, will you? I'm gasping. - I think Sammy needs something stronger."
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"- They were the fake swords, Bollo? - What fake swords?"
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"No! No! No!"
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"Help me."
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"Apart from a brief stint playing bass for The Style Council, I've not worked since."
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"I just wanted to say to you, Sammy, that what is in the past is in the past."
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"Only the leading exponent of avant-garde cinema working in Denmark today."
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"It was when Pete stole my trainers. I went berserk."
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