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Clips from The Mighty Boosh - The Chokes (S03E03)

"So, are you all set for tonight?"
The Mighty Boosh
"I've got an idea. It's a crazy idea, but I'm gonna be at the gig anyway, and I can sing."
The Mighty Boosh
"- I could be your singer. It'll be amazing. - I tell you what. If you can get into these..."
The Mighty Boosh
"I'll see you tonight for the gig. And give my condolences to Neville's family."
The Mighty Boosh
"- You mean Nathan. - Whatever."
The Mighty Boosh
"Come with us now on a journey through time and space."
The Mighty Boosh
"Life is pain."
The Mighty Boosh
"Suicide is freedom."
The Mighty Boosh
"and I was ringing him to find out where it was."
The Mighty Boosh
"I don't think so. You know what I'm doing?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- Who? - Jurgen Haabemaaster. Know who he is?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- An actor? Who have you got? - We've got Sammy the Crab."
The Mighty Boosh
"- He's the best actor of his generation. - Get real. He's awful."
The Mighty Boosh
"I caught it. Look. That's gonna be worth something one day."
The Mighty Boosh
"Hey, Vincey."
The Mighty Boosh
"Boring. Hey, are you still trying to sell these jazz records?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Hey, Vince, how are the legs?"
The Mighty Boosh
"You're my little golden boy. You're my shower monkey."
The Mighty Boosh
"You're my two-ton circle of fun! Hey, and I got this poster too."
The Mighty Boosh
"Jurgen Haabemaaster."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Cup of tea or a sandwich? - There's no way."
The Mighty Boosh
"Now I'm a grown man. I'm loose. I'm at ease with myself."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Yes! - I'll give you an audition."
The Mighty Boosh
"What are you doing? Howard, have you frozen?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Cool. I'll put you on in the second half."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Really? - OK, follow me."
The Mighty Boosh
"The Doctor and the Pencil is one of my first films."
The Mighty Boosh
"It is an exploration of pain and rage."
The Mighty Boosh
"Make the calll"
The Mighty Boosh
"So playful."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Thanks. - What's the matter?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- Remember when I was in Candide? - I didn't know you were in that."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Bad day? - Yeah, you could say that."
The Mighty Boosh
"Everything turned to shit."
The Mighty Boosh
"Argh!"
The Mighty Boosh
"- So he's on the bill with you tonight? - He's my competition."
The Mighty Boosh
"Ah, here we are once more in my acting dojo."
The Mighty Boosh
"With no interval. Well, a short interval. But then another half an hour."
The Mighty Boosh
"Well, you're going to have to want it a little bit more than that."
The Mighty Boosh
"- I didn't bring any tights with me. - Luckily, I did. Behind the tree. Of you pop."
The Mighty Boosh
"Put them on. Don't worry, boy, I won't look."
The Mighty Boosh
"A situation. You've lost your ladder. Look for your ladder."
The Mighty Boosh
"- What do you see in front of you? - A pencil."
The Mighty Boosh
"Go on, Howard. Show them what you're made of."
The Mighty Boosh
"- I'm loose. I'm free. - Yes."
The Mighty Boosh
"Where do you want me? First or second half?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- Nice comeback. Hey, let's go. - Let's do it. I've got my drainpipes. Let's go."
The Mighty Boosh
"Ah, that's told him."
The Mighty Boosh
"You've heard of Piccadilly Circus."
The Mighty Boosh
"Well, tonight I present you Vince Noir's Electro Circus."
The Mighty Boosh
"Watch your step. Hey, goofballs, you're on in ten, OK?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- Here's Sammy's dressing room. - Thanks."
The Mighty Boosh
"You have absolutely nothing. You repulse me."
The Mighty Boosh
"Ah."
The Mighty Boosh
"You burned down my house."
The Mighty Boosh
"I just wanted to say that I am glad you are clean."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Don't milk it. - Sorry."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Are you guys all right? - Yeah."
The Mighty Boosh
"- How's he been? Is he all right? - Oh, he's fine."
The Mighty Boosh
"Come on. I'll have the lot of you."
The Mighty Boosh
"They're the Red McEnroes now."
The Mighty Boosh
"I might know someone."
The Mighty Boosh
"Think of the pencil, Howard. Think of the pencil."
The Mighty Boosh
"Ohhhhhhhhhh!"
The Mighty Boosh
"He was the one."
The Mighty Boosh
"Once I get these on, I'm going all the way with The Black Tubes."
The Mighty Boosh
"We've done it."
The Mighty Boosh
"All right. Without further ado, let's welcome to the stage"
The Mighty Boosh
"Hello. I'm Jurgen Haabemaaster."
The Mighty Boosh
"♪ I'm Sammy the Crab, I'm Sammy the Crab"
The Mighty Boosh
"Not yet. I think we'll have to do an instrumental set. It's a bit of a shame."
The Mighty Boosh
"I know all the lyrics to your songs, and I was mucking about on Photoshop the other day"
The Mighty Boosh
"Out of grief more than anything. I don't know. What do you think?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Save you auditioning anyone else."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Yeah. Why? - Your legs are a bit muscular."
The Mighty Boosh
"- We've got a thin-legs policy in this band. - I've got thin legs."
The Mighty Boosh
"- No, chicken drummers, mate. - Look, come on, guys. I could do this."
The Mighty Boosh
"They'll be fine. They look a bit baggy, if anything. Yeah, easy."
The Mighty Boosh
"To the world of "The Mighty Boosh"."
The Mighty Boosh
"♪ "The Mighty Boosh""
The Mighty Boosh
"Oh, yes."
The Mighty Boosh
"- This is never gonna work. - What do you mean?"
The Mighty Boosh
"I will get into those drainpipes. I will."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Why don't you just accept it? - What do you mean?"
The Mighty Boosh
"You've got muscular legs, like a football player. That needn't be a bad thing."
The Mighty Boosh
"It didn't get in the way for Van Morrison."
The Mighty Boosh
"He shufled to the top on his beefy Celtic drummers."
The Mighty Boosh
"- He's a Nik Nak in a ginger wig. - Why are you letting it get to you?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Stop mocking me. Come and watch tonight. It's gonna be good."
The Mighty Boosh
"- My nights are genius. - I don't think so. I've got other things to do."
The Mighty Boosh
"- As if you've got anything to do. - What?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Gonna go to Lester Corncrake's house, stick your phone up his arse and ring him?"
The Mighty Boosh
"He doesn't see very well. He sat on the phone,"
The Mighty Boosh
"He thought a bumblebee had gone up him. It was quite traumatic for him."
The Mighty Boosh
"Why don't you come along? My nights, they're genius."
The Mighty Boosh
"I'm gonna see Jurgen Haabemaaster speak about his latest project."
The Mighty Boosh
"Incredible mind. You know what he once did?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Unbelievable footage."
The Mighty Boosh
"It's called culture, something you wouldn't know about."
The Mighty Boosh
"My nights are packed full of culture."
The Mighty Boosh
"You've got to have variety. We've got dancing girls, an actor."
The Mighty Boosh
"Sammy the Crab? Are you joking?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- What? He'd be in Hollywood now. - What, if he wasn't a crab?"
The Mighty Boosh
"No, if he wasn't keeping it real in theatre."
The Mighty Boosh
"Have you seen his one-man version of Streetcar Named Desire?"
The Mighty Boosh
"It's the seminal Kowalski. You can't go back to Brando after you've seen Sammy."
The Mighty Boosh
"12 encores. Took his little vest of, threw it into the crowd."
The Mighty Boosh
"I'm doing pretty good, Fossil, yeah. Things are going OK and..."
The Mighty Boosh
"Or, as I like to say, these liquid discs of shit."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Yes, they're selling very well, thank you. - Ooh."
The Mighty Boosh
"Two sizes to go and I am in those drainpipes."
The Mighty Boosh
"Beauteous. You get into the band, you get me in as a manager."
The Mighty Boosh
"Cool."
The Mighty Boosh
"And listen, we got a big-shot director coming down to see Sammy the Crab."
The Mighty Boosh
"Is there any room on the door?"
The Mighty Boosh
"The guestlist is a little tight. What's his name?"
The Mighty Boosh
"OK, he can come, but no plus-one. I'm chocka."
The Mighty Boosh
"OK, bye."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Put me on at the club tonight. - Oh, really?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- Jurgen puts me in his latest project. - You can't act."
The Mighty Boosh
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