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Clips from American Dad! - Iced, Iced Babies (S02E02)

"I can't wait to enroll here. People are finally gonna take me seriously."
American Dad!
"Don't they have college on your planet?"
American Dad!
"God, Ethan is so hot."
American Dad!
"And he completely ignores me. It makes him so much hotter."
American Dad!
"Mom!"
American Dad!
"Oh, I,m sure that,ll come right out."
American Dad!
"I mean the stain. I call the stain a "she... like a ship."
American Dad!
"we could see who can do the best pretend elephant."
American Dad!
"- Beat that. - Actually, I,m going over to Debbie's tonight."
American Dad!
"Oh, um, Steve, Mommy's not feeling well."
American Dad!
"Oh, I,m sorry to hear that."
American Dad!
"Not as funny as Debbie. She cracks me up."
American Dad!
"Yeah, Debbie made me a desk caddy."
American Dad!
"Plus, she's fast-tracking our boy to manhood."
American Dad!
"Yeah. So I,d like to reward the guys fighting the drug war."
American Dad!
"Where's the drug room?"
American Dad!
"Do you expect me to take your word..."
American Dad!
"I,d say it's about 80% baby laxative."
American Dad!
"Yep, this junk means only one thing."
American Dad!
"Principal Lewis, those drugs aren't mine."
American Dad!
"Then explain this."
American Dad!
"Smith, you,re suspended."
American Dad!
"And tell Esteban that ellobonegron sends his regards."
American Dad!
"- Hmm. - Good afternoon, everyone."
American Dad!
"I,m Professor Guggenheim."
American Dad!
"- What are you doing? - I went to talk to the dean. One lie led to another..."
American Dad!
"- You can't teach. - Quiet, please."
American Dad!
"You may have thought this class was about literature."
American Dad!
"You were wrong. This class is about life."
American Dad!
"You,re breaking up with me."
American Dad!
"We had a good run. Remember my fifth birthday? Oh."
American Dad!
"And I had some great times suckling."
American Dad!
"- This is all Debbie's fault. - Let's be adults about this, Mom."
American Dad!
"I,d- I,d like the key to my bike lock."
American Dad!
"- And we,ll still be friends. - Oh, sure, friends!"
American Dad!
"I don't need any more friends, Steven."
American Dad!
"There's another coffee shop."
American Dad!
"I used to watch this show with Steve."
American Dad!
"Francine, why not just replace Steve?"
American Dad!
"You know, have another baby."
American Dad!
"Stan would never go for another kid. His mind is made up."
American Dad!
"I was being spontaneous."
American Dad!
"Maybe it would be okay if we had another baby."
American Dad!
"you,ll lead the carefree life of a barren spinster."
American Dad!
"Stan, I want another baby."
American Dad!
"You better sleep with one eye open, Stan."
American Dad!
"I,ll do whatever it takes."
American Dad!
"Huh, that doesn't hurt half as bad as I thought-"
American Dad!
"Quick, wipe it off between your legs!"
American Dad!
"No, wait! Nice try."
American Dad!
"You must plunge into the pool of life."
American Dad!
"Roger, your lecture today was just a bunch of idealistic nonsense."
American Dad!
"Oh, really? You just earned yourself a week of detention."
American Dad!
"- There's no detention in college. - Oh, right."
American Dad!
"Oh, sorry. I,m- I,m interrupting."
American Dad!
"No,just a lively exchange of ideas."
American Dad!
"I- I just wanted to tell you how inspiring you are, Professor."
American Dad!
"- It's like I,m on crank, I,m so awake. - Exactly."
American Dad!
"You wanna get some coffee..."
American Dad!
"Later, Professor."
American Dad!
"I pretend to teach them."
American Dad!
"But it's really they who pretend to teach me."
American Dad!
"If you have a coupon, insert it now."
American Dad!
"Your vasectomy is about to beginning."
American Dad!
"Imagine: Empty playgrounds, free of children shouting and laughter."
American Dad!
"That's the beautiful dream of vasectech."
American Dad!
"Yea!"
American Dad!
"A world with no children. Future generations will thank us."
American Dad!
"Would you like to save some father fluids?"
American Dad!
"before a dangerous mission back in the,80s."
American Dad!
"There's a vial of proto-Smiths at the government storage center outside D.C.-"
American Dad!
"Kindly enter for your vasectomy."
American Dad!
"So where do I put my- Oh, I see."
American Dad!
"whatever book I,m teaching you about, and it's this:"
American Dad!
"Don't complain to me when you can't rip up your midterm."
American Dad!
"Oh, I just stitched together a little Mr. Holland.."
American Dad!
"Well, keep up that "follow your heart... crap."
American Dad!
"I think Ethan's really loosening up."
American Dad!
"Professor, I was wondering if you,d like to come to dinner at my home."
American Dad!
"You, um- You look good."
American Dad!
"She looks awful."
American Dad!
"Francine, I thought about what you said about having a baby."
American Dad!
"You,re right and I,m wrong, and there is nothing suspicious about that."
American Dad!
"Oh, Stan."
American Dad!
"I guess we just need to keep trying."
American Dad!
"I,m gonna take a shower, then we,ll recharge with frozen yogurt."
American Dad!
"Oh, I think we have a coupon."
American Dad!
"There you go. Now you,re holding up your end."
American Dad!
"Let's see. Y's."
American Dad!
"vasectomy?"
American Dad!
"Professor, Hayley."
American Dad!
"- Shrimp Gruyere puff? - Mmm."
American Dad!
"Oh, Ethan, you should be a professor of food."
American Dad!
"But now you,ve inspired me."
American Dad!
"That's why I became a professor, Ethan, to inspire people-"
American Dad!
"Well, I took your advice and stabbed my father 38 times."
American Dad!
"Not eating isn't gonna bring him back."
American Dad!
"- I think you just need to punch me harder. - You had a vasectomy?"
American Dad!
"Look, I know you,re mad, but I,m sliced. There's nothing we can do."
American Dad!
"Your Japanese friends told me about your banked sperm."
American Dad!
"- Kichiro. - I know about the government storage center, Stan."
American Dad!
"- I,m having a baby. - No! My eyes!"
American Dad!
"My mouth! My back!"
American Dad!
"My begonia!"
American Dad!
""My Sharona...!"
American Dad!
"- Marry me. - My Best Friend's Wedding!Ah, my eyes again!"
American Dad!
"- Francine, stop this. - If you won't give me a baby, I,m gonna get one myself."
American Dad!
"Roger, tell him we want to get the hell out of here."
American Dad!
"Uh, Ethan, it's been a lovely evening..."
American Dad!
"but I have a faculty meeting in the morning."
American Dad!
"And if we don't, then life isn't worth living... for any of us."
American Dad!
"I,ll go get Pictionary."
American Dad!
"Let's just make a run for it."
American Dad!
"I won't know whose sperm I,m getting."
American Dad!
"It's like I,m blacked out at a frat house."
American Dad!
"And I won't let you ruin that."
American Dad!
"Well, I am not gonna let my husband stand in the way of me getting pregnant."
American Dad!
"Wait a second."
American Dad!
"Milk! Well, that's much less disgusting."
American Dad!
"Let's see. "S...."
American Dad!
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