Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Veep - Nicknames (S01E01)

"Hmm. Bummer. Looks like your girlfriend"
Veep
"didn't get the Chief of Staff job with the Speaker."
Veep
"Guess I don't have to buy a hat now."
Veep
"I was deliberately late for work because I wanted her to believe"
Veep
"that she was more important to me than my job."
Veep
"But it's the thought that counts."
Veep
"trying to trick her into believing that."
Veep
"Sadly, the beautiful thing we had faded very suddenly"
Veep
"eight minutes ago."
Veep
"You like this place? I love this place."
Veep
"Yeah. No frills."
Veep
"Not a single frill."
Veep
"It is a fuckload of bread. Believe me, you could feed a family,"
Veep
"like a fat family off the fuckload of bread alone."
Veep
"So Clean Jobs is looking pretty exciting."
Veep
"What about the White House? They as stoked as we are?"
Veep
"-Thanks, man. -Yeah."
Veep
"It's too bad Amy doesn't."
Veep
"Please, she's just fucking jealous."
Veep
"Since you guys went out, you've been getting action, right?"
Veep
"I got a cock like a cappuccino frother."
Veep
"(SOFTLY) Fuck, yeah."
Veep
"What did I tell you? That's like two grain silos fucked right there."
Veep
"Yup, that's a regular granary gangbang."
Veep
"that Max Geldray is saying that POTUS is avoiding Selina?"
Veep
"The only intel he has is on his fucking PC."
Veep
"-Intel, that's a brand of microprocessor. -Strong joke."
Veep
"-POTUS, he knows Clean Jobs has traction. -(PHONE RINGING)"
Veep
"Senator Macauley, he'd sponsor that bill in a heartbeat."
Veep
"He's got a big, veiny boner for it."
Veep
"Interactive tourist section of the website is down."
Veep
"Hey, there's this extreme metal band playing over at Labyrinth's tonight."
Veep
"They don't even have a name. You want to check it out?"
Veep
"Yeah, man. Let's go catch some decibels."
Veep
"-You cut me, I bleed metal. -Great."
Veep
"To eat at a different fucking restaurant."
Veep
"AMY: So Mike's jokes didn't work?"
Veep
"I mean, this is such a great draft of the Clean Jobs bill."
Veep
"Yeah, it's pretty much all here. We just need to..."
Veep
"Up the stakes substantially?"
Veep
"Noncompliance penalties, don't you think those should be greater?"
Veep
"That was totally inappropriate."
Veep
"That's not the first time that that's happened, by the way."
Veep
"-I'll see to it. -Yeah."
Veep
"Well, Dan is working intel on that."
Veep
"I'm gonna head home if it's okay. If I'm not needed."
Veep
"Yeah, sure. What's in the bag?"
Veep
"Oh, I got my first Zumba class tonight."
Veep
"-Oh, neat. -I'm excited."
Veep
"Amy and I are gonna be working pretty late, I think."
Veep
"Would you do me a favor? Could you go and pick up"
Veep
"some of those takeout crab cakes from Levin's?"
Veep
"Hey, Gary, what are some of the other nicknames?"
Veep
"Oh, come on. This is masochism."
Veep
"No, it's not. I have very thick skin."
Veep
"I'm just interested, that's all."
Veep
"VIAGRA prohibitor? (CHUCKLES)"
Veep
"Why, because when a guy's with me he doesn't need VIAGRA?"
Veep
"No. It means that even if a guy uses it..."
Veep
"It doesn't work?"
Veep
"They are saying that a prescription medication"
Veep
"that is supposed to guarantee a strong and sustained erection"
Veep
"in all men, despite their age or their health,"
Veep
"is rendered ineffective by me?"
Veep
"You know what? You no longer search on the nicknames."
Veep
"Wait, What about VPILF?"
Veep
"-That's flattering. You know what that means? -No, Gary."
Veep
"Vice President I would like to, you know, fool around with."
Veep
"-Fuck. -Okay."
Veep
"(LOUD METAL MUSIC PLAYING)"
Veep
"'Cause they're not for fucking sale."
Veep
"Fucking listen to this."
Veep
"Yeah. That's exactly how I feel about the Clean Jobs legislation."
Veep
"I'll call you."
Veep
"Pick up this round, I'll get the next one. And grab some nuts."
Veep
"Get some fucking nuts!"
Veep
"You know, I've asked Dan and Mike to play devil's advocate"
Veep
"against this bill, assemble some arguments."
Veep
"He is already a huge advocate of the devil's."
Veep
"He doesn't fix the economy soon,"
Veep
"NASA's gonna have to build him an escape pod."
Veep
"I mean, how has he let this happen?"
Veep
"-God, if I were... -Mmm-mmm-mmm."
Veep
"Don't say, "If I were President." It's the VP bear trap."
Veep
"Okay. I won't say it."
Veep
"I'll just think it."
Veep
"Thanks for working late tonight, Amy."
Veep
"Don't feel like you have to come in early tomorrow."
Veep
"Okay, thanks."
Veep
"But you will come in early, right?"
Veep
"-Of course. -Yeah."
Veep
"Shit, Sidney Purcell. Should we go another way?"
Veep
"-I'm only scared of two things. -Yeah, bats and Alzheimer's."
Veep
"Guess what we were just doing? Just polishing up the latest draft of Clean Jobs."
Veep
"Great seeing you, as always, Madam Vice President."
Veep
"How charming. I need to be getting home."
Veep
"You know, I wanted to tell you if you think this bill of yours is gonna go the distance,"
Veep
"then you must be even stupider than I think you are."
Veep
"This bill is a fucking disgrace,"
Veep
"Just wanted to let you know."
Veep
"Heard you only got two hours of sleep last night."
Veep
"Yeah, well, with how many times you've got to get up and pee, Mike,"
Veep
"Yes, ma'am."
Veep
"-Mmm-hmm. -Mmm-hmm."
Veep
"So you can be harsh. You don't need to hold back or anything."
Veep
"Sure."
Veep
"This is class genocide."
Veep
"This is... This... Um, huh?"
Veep
"This is rich white people and their rich white champion Selina Meyer"
Veep
"demanding an unproven solution"
Veep
"to an unproven problem so they can sleep better at night."
Veep
"Who works for large polluting companies?"
Veep
"Ordinary moms and dads."
Veep
"because of your high taxes and noncompliance penalties?"
Veep
"This is cold, calculated, class genocide"
Veep
"or eligible to be held on a 5150 at a mental health facility."
Veep
"Remember that name."
Veep
"No one will want to call their child by that name."
Veep
"There are no more Adolfs. Soon there will be no more Selinas."
Veep
"You are looking at the last Selina."
Veep
Show more clips