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Clips from Veep - Nicknames (S01E01)

"Not on C-SPAN. The irony would be too huge."
Veep
"(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)"
Veep
"Am I sure?"
Veep
"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay, of course you did. Of course."
Veep
"Please, stop staring at me like that."
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"-A little more detail work, but, yes. -Yes."
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"Seeing 17 dawns in a matter of 24 hours. Okay."
Veep
"That's the past, ma'am."
Veep
"Solid narrative throughout it,"
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"-Yeah, it's a word play or a parody. -Mmm."
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"Okay, doesn't matter."
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"-Got another one. -All right."
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"Okay. All right. This is kind of a half an idea."
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"-You are late. -Yes, and I am incredibly sorry."
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"Having sex is absolutely not, Dan."
Veep
"Quite right, ma'am. Although, in my defense,"
Veep
"God. Where is Amy?"
Veep
"You got rollerblades?"
Veep
"Okay."
Veep
"Are you kidding me?"
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"-You don't think anyone noticed that, do you? -No. God, no."
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"It's very rare."
Veep
"No, I know him. He hates confrontation,"
Veep
"and obviously there is something that he needs to confront me about."
Veep
"-Whoa, are you self-googling? -Yeah."
Veep
"Gary, what are my nicknames?"
Veep
"-That was good legislation. -It was good legislation."
Veep
"-Mammary Meyer. -Oh, please."
Veep
"Grisly Madam, She-Ra, Meyer the Liar, the Batcave, Pissface."
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"I remember that. They were just jealous. Remember that?"
Veep
"AMY: Yes. MIKE: They called you Goofy Smile."
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"Hat? Oh, wedding? (SCOFFS) No."
Veep
"-She fall for that? -I doubt it."
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"She appreciates the gesture of me"
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"That is so romantic."
Veep
"So who's next?"
Veep
"Which strategically useful young woman will get to witness"
Veep
"your two-hour morning skin care regime?"
Veep
"When they bring out the bread, you check it out."
Veep
"Think I'm gonna get an orange juice. You want one?"
Veep
"Hey, man, yeah. I'm out of the office. I don't want to talk shop."
Veep
"Oh, right, right, yeah."
Veep
"Oh, mad action."
Veep
"Thanks, Joe."
Veep
"Max Geldray knows shit about shit."
Veep
"Oh, shit. They need me back at the West Wing, like, now."
Veep
"-What, did we declare war? -No, it's worse."
Veep
"Just real fucked up noise."
Veep
"SELINA: Listen, we have got to congratulate Martin on this."
Veep
"I think we should just go for it."
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"I think we should just fine the fuckers till the fuckers aren't fine."
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"-Inappropriate. -Inappropriate."
Veep
"-Hey. -Hey, Gary."
Veep
"-I love those. -Yeah."
Veep
"That wouldn't spoil your plans, would it?"
Veep
"No, ma'am."
Veep
"-You know, like using the initials VP jokingly. -Like what?"
Veep
"Ah! This is fucking primordial."
Veep
"-You know why? -'Cause they don't have a name?"
Veep
"All noises are good."
Veep
"I'm in a meeting tomorrow and it's definitely gonna get discussed."
Veep
"You know, what people might say against it and stuff."
Veep
"POTUS needs some successes right now."
Veep
"No, I'm not scared of oil lobbyists."
Veep
"Madam Vice President. So good to see you."
Veep
"You know, I am from oil, but that doesn't mean that I don't care deeply"
Veep
"Speaking of children, I've got to go."
Veep
"Catherine is waiting to skype with me."
Veep
"-Okay, take care. -Bye-bye."
Veep
"And I should tell you, I think you're borderline developmentally disabled."
Veep
"and I'm gonna see to it personally"
Veep
"that it gets chewed up like a dead prostitute in a wood chipper."
Veep
"I think we're about even."
Veep
"Hey, have you boys read the latest draft of Clean Jobs?"
Veep
"Okay, so you've got your critiques all prepared?"
Veep
"Who's gonna go first?"
Veep
"-Shame on you, Selina Meyer. -Okay."
Veep
"Oh, my God, Dan."
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"In diary hierarchy,"
Veep
"Okay, I will kill the children."
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"Ma'am! Ma'am! It's a fucking disaster."
Veep
"(GARY GROANS)"
Veep
"Oh, son of a bitch."
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"They used a nickname, ma'am, and we were not searching on it."
Veep
"Get out of my office."
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"-Gary! -Yes, ma'am? Yes, ma'am?"
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"-I need something. -Okay, is there anything specific?"
Veep
"-I'm very good in a fire. -Ma'am, if I may. I think I have an idea."
Veep
"Well, that would get the meat of Clean Jobs through, wouldn't it?"
Veep
"It would also mean we'd go against the President's wishes."
Veep
"I really do, Mike."
Veep
"I'm aware of that, ma'am."
Veep
"-This is the bear trap. -I know, you're right."
Veep
"Ma'am, I got you a little bit of ice cream."
Veep
"I thought that might be just what you wanted."
Veep
"I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't because I didn't know if you already knew,"
Veep
"I've been trying to cynically use you,"
Veep
"You guys think you're fucking New York, but you're not."
Veep
"you're not that great to be around."
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"I don't like you, Dan."
Veep
"That's why you're so upset."
Veep
"Maybe I'll sneak into your apartment with a bag of oranges"
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"(SIRENS BLARING)"
Veep
"Oh, thank you."
Veep
"They're anticipating another tied vote in the Senate."
Veep
"You need to head back to preside again."
Veep
"The way that my principles and conscience tell me to go."
Veep
"Okay."
Veep
"(DAN SIGHING)"
Veep
"-You back your own policy. -Yeah? You think so?"
Veep
"-Yes. -Wow."
Veep
"So you, Dan, who are absolutely against this policy,"
Veep
"This is some weird-ass Through the Looking-Glass shit right now."
Veep
"and you have put this entire office into a salad spinner of fuck."
Veep
"What, are you checking your fantasy fucking football scores?"
Veep
"(SIGHS)"
Veep
"Is this what I came into politics to do, Amy?"
Veep
"It's a rhetorical question."
Veep
"Obviously I didn't come into politics to do this."
Veep
"And yet you are disturbing me."
Veep
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