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Clips from The Good Place - Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis (S01E01)

"Get the tools."
The Good Place
"- Sorry, can I be of any service? - Ah! Tahani."
The Good Place
"Didn't see you there. Uh, no, no."
The Good Place
"We're just having a slight problem with the enormous sinkhole."
The Good Place
"Yes, I meant to tell you... I walked past it last night and I..."
The Good Place
"I actually saw it get a little bit bigger."
The Good Place
"It got bigger?"
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"Ah, well, that's so normal. Uh..."
The Good Place
"This is the reaction I have when things are incredibly mundane and expected."
The Good Place
"I'm gonna leave now at my regular pace, as I do in most scenarios."
The Good Place
"Finally! Let's get back to it."
The Good Place
"Whip out that chalkboard, big boy, show me what you're working with."
The Good Place
"- Blankets. - Great, I'll grab my sweater."
The Good Place
"I can practice letting people cut in front of me."
The Good Place
"You know, uh, I just realized"
The Good Place
"Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. What's wrong? Out with it."
The Good Place
"Fine, I'm just tired, need a break. No big deal."
The Good Place
"The way you're talking to me right now?"
The Good Place
""Everything's cool, no big deal," I know that move."
The Good Place
"it meant anything from "I just bought weed from your nephew,""
The Good Place
"to "I secretly befriended your ex-girlfriend last year,"
The Good Place
""things got out of hand, and now I'm her bridesmaid.""
The Good Place
"Wow."
The Good Place
"Okay, well, in this case, it really is no big deal."
The Good Place
"Dude, you're hiding something!"
The Good Place
"- What's wrong? - Nothing!"
The Good Place
"Jianyu, 2nd."
The Good Place
"So where am I?"
The Good Place
"Eleanor, 6th? Come on."
The Good Place
"Oh, no. I'm second to last."
The Good Place
"Mummy, I made you this."
The Good Place
"It's the pretty bird we saw in the garden."
The Good Place
"Thank you, Tahani. It's very competent."
The Good Place
"I made a bird, as well."
The Good Place
"I worked in a reflective alloy, holding up a mirror to mankind"
The Good Place
"Excellent, Kamilah."
The Good Place
"I sense the influence of Brancusi and Kapoor."
The Good Place
"It seems you're moving out of your structural period,"
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"and more into conceptual abstraction."
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"Good eye, Mother."
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"- My birdie has a hat. - Yes, well done, Tahani."
The Good Place
"- What's wrong? - Nothing's wrong."
The Good Place
"- What's wrong? - Nothing's wrong."
The Good Place
"- Okay, fine! - What's wrong?"
The Good Place
"You want to know what's wrong? You are a full-time job."
The Good Place
"I wake up, there's Eleanor."
The Good Place
"And then it's, "Good night, Eleanor.""
The Good Place
"Wait, she's got Eleanor's face! And tentacles for some reason."
The Good Place
"I thought you liked teaching me. So now I'm just some huge burden for you?"
The Good Place
"Yes! Of course you are! I am in paradise!"
The Good Place
"I should be doing paradise things,"
The Good Place
"like rowing out on a lake with a good bottle of wine,"
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"reading French poetry."
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"That's your idea of paradise?"
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"because then I am shirking my ethical duty."
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"It's an impossible position!"
The Good Place
"You know what, if you're so stressed from writing on a chalkboard,"
The Good Place
"why don't you just leave?"
The Good Place
"We can pretend to be soul mates in public,"
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"but other than that, we don't have to see each other!"
The Good Place
"- Fine with me! I'll move out right now. - Fine!"
The Good Place
"Good afternoon."
The Good Place
"As you all may remember, a sinkhole recently opened up in the town center."
The Good Place
"The situation, sadly, has worsened."
The Good Place
"Starting right now, no one may go outside"
The Good Place
"under any circumstances."
The Good Place
"Leaving your homes could result in catastrophic damage,"
The Good Place
"to you and to the very fabric of the universe."
The Good Place
"Okay, bye."
The Good Place
"Or we could both just stay here."
The Good Place
"We hope you enjoy your eternal stay in The Good Place."
The Good Place
"Take advantage of our day spa,"
The Good Place
"You mind turning that off? It's been playing on a loop for two days."
The Good Place
"The whole Neighborhood is offline. We only get the welcome channel."
The Good Place
"I would love to not watch TV, but you canceled school."
The Good Place
"What have you done to me, you monster?"
The Good Place
"Look at all these dishes piling up."
The Good Place
"I used to just throw them in the sink,"
The Good Place
"and they'd be magically cleaned by morning."
The Good Place
"I did that. I cleaned the dishes."
The Good Place
"Oh."
The Good Place
"Then what's up with these bad boys?"
The Good Place
"You are unbelievable."
The Good Place
"Are you still upset? You're not over it yet?"
The Good Place
"Well, it sounds like you've had a really nice "vacation""
The Good Place
"from your "full-time job.""
The Good Place
"Get your story straight, bro!"
The Good Place
"Hey, guys, it's Michael."
The Good Place
"Hi, Michael, what a lovely surprise."
The Good Place
"Oh, I'd love to make small talk. I've been practicing, too."
The Good Place
"I'm amazing at it, but I'm in a bit of a rush here."
The Good Place
"This is Bart and Nina."
The Good Place
"They live right next door to the, uh, sinkhole,"
The Good Place
"so they obviously need a place to stay."
The Good Place
"I was wondering, as my assistant, maybe you could put them up for a while?"
The Good Place
"Oh, of course. Don't think twice."
The Good Place
"Okay, shouldn't take long. Between an hour and, um, 11 months."
The Good Place
"Somewhere in there. Okay, bye."
The Good Place
"Don't go outside."
The Good Place
"Hello, everyone, and welcome to day three of our brunch siege."
The Good Place
"I stayed up all night to plan a full day of fun activities."
The Good Place
"Tahani, you are truly the best."
The Good Place
"Yes, you would think so, wouldn't you, Henriette?"
The Good Place
"Still second to last."
The Good Place
"Tahani!"
The Good Place
"This auction threatens to be an embarrassing failure."
The Good Place
"5.2 million isn't bad."
The Good Place
"It's very "middle-thermometer.""
The Good Place
"Your public failure is our public failure."
The Good Place
"You know what has to be done."
The Good Place
"I'm very pleased to announce that there has been an addition to today's docket."
The Good Place
"I'm sure you all know my sister, Kamilah."
The Good Place
"Yes. Kamilah."
The Good Place
"Kamilah, of course, is the youngest person ever"
The Good Place
"to graduate from Oxford University."
The Good Place
"Olympic gold medalist for archery,"
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"and the person voted "Most Likely to be Banksy.""
The Good Place
"So without further ado, take it away from me!"
The Good Place
"Sorry, I mean take it away, Kamilah."
The Good Place
"I am auctioning off a lunch date with me."
The Good Place
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