Loading...

You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Community (2009) - Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts (S02E02)

If it's my child, it's okay to have a drink or two.

"If it's my child, it's okay to have a drink or two."

Community (2009)

Hi.

"Hi."

Community (2009)

He's a writer who's doing a piece on me for Dean Magazine.

"He's a writer who's doing a piece on me for Dean Magazine."

Community (2009)

Uh, professor. What?

"Uh, professor. What?"

Community (2009)

So after this, we should check out the World Food Festival in the parking lot.

"So after this, we should check out the World Food Festival in the parking lot."

Community (2009)

Some need only eight months, depending on how much of the mother they eat.

"Some need only eight months, depending on how much of the mother they eat."

Community (2009)

- It's cool. - How?

"- It's cool. - How?"

Community (2009)

I don't know. It just is.

"I don't know. It just is."

Community (2009)

No. I don't know. Tsh. No.

"No. I don't know. Tsh. No."

Community (2009)

Uh, uh... No, no, no. Thank you for the conversation.

"Uh, uh... No, no, no. Thank you for the conversation."

Community (2009)

you decided to grow a wang. I regret nothing.

"you decided to grow a wang. I regret nothing."

Community (2009)

while a life is created 10 feet from you.

"while a life is created 10 feet from you."

Community (2009)

Okay, here's what it is.

"Okay, here's what it is."

Community (2009)

God, that was a good week.

"God, that was a good week."

Community (2009)

We come out healthy. That's why there's a billion of us.

"We come out healthy. That's why there's a billion of us."

Community (2009)

So how does it work?

"So how does it work?"

Community (2009)

Yeah, that's the stuff.

"Yeah, that's the stuff."

Community (2009)

That's okay because it is natural.

"That's okay because it is natural."

Community (2009)

No, no, no, the money doesn't matter anymore.

"No, no, no, the money doesn't matter anymore."

Community (2009)

He divorced Betty Grable.

"He divorced Betty Grable."

Community (2009)

Nobody cares about your handshake.

"Nobody cares about your handshake."

Community (2009)

more than 8 centimeters, we have time to get her to a hospital.

"more than 8 centimeters, we have time to get her to a hospital."

Community (2009)

Unless that father is me.

"Unless that father is me."

Community (2009)

- And not true. Sort of. - Annie.

"- And not true. Sort of. - Annie."

Community (2009)

Chang! Where's Chang? What's up, baby?

"Chang! Where's Chang? What's up, baby?"

Community (2009)

Well, that's a discussion for a different time.

"Well, that's a discussion for a different time."

Community (2009)

Okay, at each contraction, you need to tell Shirley to push.

"Okay, at each contraction, you need to tell Shirley to push."

Community (2009)

Guys, I got it. I'm in the zone.

"Guys, I got it. I'm in the zone."

Community (2009)

It's Baby Greendale. You guys don't have to name it that.

"It's Baby Greendale. You guys don't have to name it that."

Community (2009)

Did that just happen?

"Did that just happen?"

Community (2009)

Hi. Aw.

"Hi. Aw."

Community (2009)

We did it, Sugar Boots. No, you did it, baby.

"We did it, Sugar Boots. No, you did it, baby."

Community (2009)

All right, well, we'll have our own little baby Ben Bennett.

"All right, well, we'll have our own little baby Ben Bennett."

Community (2009)

Okay. No, no, no, that's fine.

"Okay. No, no, no, that's fine."

Community (2009)

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Community (2009)

Screaming, crying and covered in crap.

"Screaming, crying and covered in crap."

Community (2009)

Look at how teeny his hands are.

"Look at how teeny his hands are."

Community (2009)

And that's how Paleolithic hunting tribes

"And that's how Paleolithic hunting tribes"

Community (2009)

overtook early agricultural civilizations.

"overtook early agricultural civilizations."

Community (2009)

Oh. That's an interesting answer, Miss Edison.

"Oh. That's an interesting answer, Miss Edison."

Community (2009)

Is it right? Don't know, don't care.

"Is it right? Don't know, don't care."

Community (2009)

But so far, you're all getting A's.

"But so far, you're all getting A's."

Community (2009)

- Yes! - You're welcome.

"- Yes! - You're welcome."

Community (2009)

Are you sure everyone should get A's?

"Are you sure everyone should get A's?"

Community (2009)

It seems unfair to the people that actually studied.

"It seems unfair to the people that actually studied."

Community (2009)

Throw paper balls at her head until she sits down.

"Throw paper balls at her head until she sits down."

Community (2009)

- Sitting. I'm sitting. - Good.

"- Sitting. I'm sitting. - Good."

Community (2009)

Very good. A-pluses for all of you.

"Very good. A-pluses for all of you."

Community (2009)

Professor Duncan, you are such a great teacher when you're drinking.

"Professor Duncan, you are such a great teacher when you're drinking."

Community (2009)

Thank you, Darrell. It's Troy.

"Thank you, Darrell. It's Troy."

Community (2009)

Hey, it the man wants to give Darrell an A, let him do it.

"Hey, it the man wants to give Darrell an A, let him do it."

Community (2009)

Nice shot. Oh, thanks.

"Nice shot. Oh, thanks."

Community (2009)

A toast to the easiest school, the dumbest dean...

"A toast to the easiest school, the dumbest dean..."

Community (2009)

And the ultimate blow-off class: Anthropology.

"And the ultimate blow-off class: Anthropology."

Community (2009)

Who knew?

"Who knew?"

Community (2009)

- Cheers. - Yeah.

"- Cheers. - Yeah."

Community (2009)

Hey, Shirley. Hm?

"Hey, Shirley. Hm?"

Community (2009)

You're not drinking. Someone is cruising for an A-minus.

"You're not drinking. Someone is cruising for an A-minus."

Community (2009)

Oh, no, no, I'm with child.

"Oh, no, no, I'm with child."

Community (2009)

Chang babies love the sauce, you know?

"Chang babies love the sauce, you know?"

Community (2009)

Alcohol and duck.

"Alcohol and duck."

Community (2009)

Zoink.

"Zoink."

Community (2009)

This is not your child, Chang. It's Andre's.

"This is not your child, Chang. It's Andre's."

Community (2009)

How do you know? Because I don't see any locusts.

"How do you know? Because I don't see any locusts."

Community (2009)

Besides, a woman knows these things.

"Besides, a woman knows these things."

Community (2009)

Women have a connectedness to their bodies

"Women have a connectedness to their bodies"

Community (2009)

that you would never understand.

"that you would never understand."

Community (2009)

You have a booger.

"You have a booger."

Community (2009)

I know, it's part of me.

"I know, it's part of me."

Community (2009)

Hey, can we please do the exam?

"Hey, can we please do the exam?"

Community (2009)

Question number two:

"Question number two:"

Community (2009)

How awesome is it that this class is fake?

"How awesome is it that this class is fake?"

Community (2009)

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Community (2009)

And that is what Jews do at weddings.

"And that is what Jews do at weddings."

Community (2009)

Anthropology. Lehayim!

"Anthropology. Lehayim!"

Community (2009)

Professor Duncan, class, this is Mr. Jacobson.

"Professor Duncan, class, this is Mr. Jacobson."

Community (2009)

Ah!

"Ah!"

Community (2009)

Keep taking your exam. Don't let my presence distract you.

"Keep taking your exam. Don't let my presence distract you."

Community (2009)

I'm sort of a father figure to the kids around here

"I'm sort of a father figure to the kids around here"

Community (2009)

for my outside-the-box approach to education.

"for my outside-the-box approach to education."

Community (2009)

You know, like that film, Children of the Corn.

"You know, like that film, Children of the Corn."

Community (2009)

Proceed. Yes.

"Proceed. Yes."

Community (2009)

The anthropology final.

"The anthropology final."

Community (2009)

Do you know what?

"Do you know what?"

Community (2009)

I have left the exam paper in my office, but it is a real doozy.

"I have left the exam paper in my office, but it is a real doozy."

Community (2009)

There is an interactive element, a performance component,

"There is an interactive element, a performance component,"

Community (2009)

and I don't wanna tip it,

"and I don't wanna tip it,"

Community (2009)

but there may be a lump of clay coming to everyone in the room.

"but there may be a lump of clay coming to everyone in the room."

Community (2009)

So toodle-Ioo. Cheerio.

"So toodle-Ioo. Cheerio."

Community (2009)

Wowee.

"Wowee."

Community (2009)

This is a real college.

"This is a real college."

Community (2009)

No way.

"No way."

Community (2009)

There are lunch trucks with 18 different nationalities of food.

"There are lunch trucks with 18 different nationalities of food."

Community (2009)

You know what? Not different, equal. Equal to whites.

"You know what? Not different, equal. Equal to whites."

Community (2009)

You know what? Better than whites.

"You know what? Better than whites."

Community (2009)

I think that sounds like an awesome thing to do immediately.

"I think that sounds like an awesome thing to do immediately."

Community (2009)

I bet the reader of Dean Magazine would love it.

"I bet the reader of Dean Magazine would love it."

Community (2009)

- Yeah. - Mm.

"- Yeah. - Mm."

Community (2009)

I'm good. I'd like to stay here and check out this unorthodox exam.

"I'm good. I'd like to stay here and check out this unorthodox exam."

Community (2009)

Oh... Shirley, you okay?

"Oh... Shirley, you okay?"

Community (2009)

Uh-huh. Just a little indigestion.

"Uh-huh. Just a little indigestion."

Community (2009)

I've been having it all morning. Are you sure it isn't a contraction?

"I've been having it all morning. Are you sure it isn't a contraction?"

Community (2009)

- No, no. - It's way too early for any of that.

"- No, no. - It's way too early for any of that."

Community (2009)

My other two came right on schedule. Maybe even a little late.

"My other two came right on schedule. Maybe even a little late."

Community (2009)

Jordan was in here so long, he came out with a driver's license.

"Jordan was in here so long, he came out with a driver's license."

Community (2009)

I'm kidding. That's not true. Ooh. Chang babies are always premature.

"I'm kidding. That's not true. Ooh. Chang babies are always premature."

Community (2009)

We gestate fast because we're better at obtaining nutrients.

"We gestate fast because we're better at obtaining nutrients."

Community (2009)

Oh... Uh...

"Oh... Uh..."

Community (2009)

Shirley, that is full of chemicals. I wouldn't expose your baby to that.

"Shirley, that is full of chemicals. I wouldn't expose your baby to that."

Community (2009)

Actually, my doctor said antacid is safe to take.

"Actually, my doctor said antacid is safe to take."

Community (2009)

Let me guess who paid for that study: Big antacid?

"Let me guess who paid for that study: Big antacid?"

Community (2009)

Shirley, chew on a eucalyptus root

"Shirley, chew on a eucalyptus root"

Community (2009)

and, I know it sounds gross, pig saliva.

"and, I know it sounds gross, pig saliva."

Community (2009)

It's the same active ingredient as antacid.

"It's the same active ingredient as antacid."

Community (2009)

They dress it up with a fancy name.

"They dress it up with a fancy name."

Community (2009)

How dare they?

"How dare they?"

Community (2009)

Wanna see a movie today?

"Wanna see a movie today?"

Community (2009)

Word. Cool.

"Word. Cool."

Community (2009)

Hey, guys, why do you do that?

"Hey, guys, why do you do that?"

Community (2009)

Do what?

"Do what?"

Community (2009)

Show more clips