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Clips from American Dad! - Jack's Back (S04E04)

"Dad! Dad!"
American Dad!
"[Tires Screech]"
American Dad!
"[No Audible Dialogue]"
American Dad!
"And you know what Danny did? He looked at me."
American Dad!
"I need to have this form signed by the owner of a real business."
American Dad!
"Well, I guess this could work. I just don't wanna flunk out of junior college."
American Dad!
"But, no, he had more important stuff to do."
American Dad!
"I'm in a meeting."
American Dad!
"I've kept this stupid bike all these years."
American Dad!
"Good idea. I'll just call him right now."
American Dad!
"Francine, I don't need him. I can learn to ride a bike myself."
American Dad!
"Well, tell Toshi to tag you and get you out."
American Dad!
"- Steve, what did you do? - Relax, Dad. I'm not in trouble."
American Dad!
"Hello, Son."
American Dad!
"I'm only behind bars because I was framed for robbing a jewelry store."
American Dad!
"Ten years ago, I left him holding the bag. And now, he wants revenge."
American Dad!
"- Ha! I'm not doing a thing for him. - Then do it for us."
American Dad!
"This time, it was a bike ride. But who knows what else we could miss out on?"
American Dad!
"Give me a chance, Son."
American Dad!
"So you'll have to forgive me if I'm a little skeptical of his motives."
American Dad!
"Mom taught me about cars, 'cause you were gone!"
American Dad!
"It's salmon. But thank you."
American Dad!
"- Whatever it is, it's dry. - Stan, what did I say about shotguns at the table?"
American Dad!
"This really isn't necessary. I told you, I've changed."
American Dad!
"You know what? We should all do something together."
American Dad!
"Sometimes, I like to know what else is happening."
American Dad!
"Well, well, well. What have we here?"
American Dad!
"You've been exposing an intern named Hayley Smith to unsafe working conditions."
American Dad!
"Henceforth, Miss Smith's duties shall be limited to watching TV and Web surfing."
American Dad!
"I already have a boy for that. He watches Nickelodeon all day. He's seven, and not real."
American Dad!
"- Game on, bitch. - Hey!"
American Dad!
"Steady. Steady. Hold it. Hold it! You can do it."
American Dad!
"Now, pull hard! Just yank it!"
American Dad!
"It was really fun. You should've been there, Francine."
American Dad!
"Well, that sounds wonderful. But maybe you shouldn't make any plans..."
American Dad!
"especially since Dad will take the stand and give him a glowing character reference."
American Dad!
"- [Francine] Klaus! - Dad, not only did you just lose a father."
American Dad!
"[Panting]"
American Dad!
"The security camera."
American Dad!
"- [Screams] - Sorry. It gets moist in there."
American Dad!
"I have to air it out at night, or I get eye mushrooms."
American Dad!
"- What? - This tracking device."
American Dad!
"Great! You get the key, and then we'll take off in your mom's car."
American Dad!
"I've never even heard of the second song."
American Dad!
"Kid, if your dad was more like me, you wouldn't even know him."
American Dad!
"I'm just saying, go easy on your old man."
American Dad!
"He wasn't as lucky as you in the father department."
American Dad!
"- Is that a condom and a rubber band? - Sure is."
American Dad!
"- [Gasps] - You killed a woman, Dimitri."
American Dad!
"[Speaking Foreign Language]"
American Dad!
"I have devoted 10 years of my life..."
American Dad!
"Your obsession with the Armenians has destroyed our marriage..."
American Dad!
"I am leaving you for a real woman who can bear me a son."
American Dad!
"And I am an Amish idiot savant who hath proven with nary a doubt..."
American Dad!
"of my drug-induced imagination."
American Dad!
"while he went behind a Dumpster with a Malaysian lady in a shiny dress."
American Dad!
"God, Grandpa. You've been defending him all night."
American Dad!
"Kiddo, they're all true."
American Dad!
"Fact is, I'm a no-good crook."
American Dad!
"The courthouse? You're turning yourself in!"
American Dad!
"- He turned himself in? - Yes."
American Dad!
"Dad, his trial's going on right now. You gotta hurry!"
American Dad!
"Stan, come see this!"
American Dad!
"And this will be exhibit "A.""
American Dad!
"# Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle #"
American Dad!
"- # I want to ride my bike # - [Gasps] I still have one."
American Dad!
"- Get your net out. - I don't have a net!"
American Dad!
"I'm doing it. I'm really doing it."
American Dad!
"- All right, Dad! - But I don't know how to stop!"
American Dad!
"L- I'm here to save you."
American Dad!
"You tried to save him, Dad. You're a good son."
American Dad!
"# Good morning, U.S.A. # [Grunts]"
American Dad!
"- You know your father doesn't get home until 6:00. - Oh. Right."
American Dad!
"- Dad! - Steve, you know after a hard day at work..."
American Dad!
"I need 30 minutes to go through the mail."
American Dad!
"- I signed us up for a father-son bike race. - Oh."
American Dad!
"- Well, that sounds like fun. - I bought us matching Lycra bike pants."
American Dad!
"Smalls. We're gonna look like we got poured into these."
American Dad!
"- I'm sorry, Steve. I can't do it. - What? Why not?"
American Dad!
"[Sighs] Little Danny Caulfield."
American Dad!
"- Who's Danny- - My dead best friend!"
American Dad!
"- Oh, my God! - We rode our bikes everywhere."
American Dad!
"One day, I was showboating down by the railroad tracks, popping wheelies."
American Dad!
""Wheelie popping" we used to call it."
American Dad!
"I was, like, "Hey, Danny, look at me!""
American Dad!
"He looked at me for so long, he didn't see that dry-cleaning van."
American Dad!
"Next thing I knew, the handlebars of his Huffy..."
American Dad!
"were where his lungs were supposed to be."
American Dad!
"Every time he'd breathe, you'd hear a little ring-ring, ring-ring."
American Dad!
"It was cute, until it got annoying."
American Dad!
"- I didn't say "diet." - No, but your thighs did."
American Dad!
"I heard you walkin' a mile away. "Here comes Hayley. Here comes Hayley.""
American Dad!
"Roger, I'm screwed."
American Dad!
"I put off getting an internship for my business class, and now I only have a week left."
American Dad!
"Well, why don't you intern here at my bar?"
American Dad!
"This is a real business. To wit."
American Dad!
"- [Dings] - Ew! It's filled with fingernail clippings."
American Dad!
"I mix 'em in with the wasabi peas. No one notices."
American Dad!
"Why? I think you'd make a wonderful pharmaceutical sales rep."
American Dad!
"- [Bicycle Horn Honks] - [Stan] God bless it!"
American Dad!
"So you don't know how to ride a bike. Why didn't you just say so?"
American Dad!
"Because it's embarrassing. It was my father's job to teach me."
American Dad!
"Daddy, will you teach me how to ride this bike?"
American Dad!
"Now it's a neglected rusty mess just like my relationship with my dad."
American Dad!
"This bike is a perfect metaphor. The streamers are my tears!"
American Dad!
"Well, you can still learn to ride a bike."
American Dad!
"Sounds like your father issues are giving you some kind of mental block."
American Dad!
"I know it's tricolored ice cream, but it sounds like pasta."
American Dad!
"And I can't get around that. I mean, my situation's hopeless..."
American Dad!
"but you can talk to your dad."
American Dad!
"Oh, wait, I can't, because I don't know where he is..."
American Dad!
"because he's a grifter who doesn't care about me and never did."
American Dad!
"I had a freshly sharpened pencil in my pocket!"
American Dad!
"Name's Tommy Calhoun, attorney at law."
American Dad!
"And Mr. Epstein was my granddaddy."
American Dad!
"They changed it to hide theJewish."
American Dad!
"Roger, I've got better things to do than serve you drinks while you play dress-up."
American Dad!
"Oh, indeed you do. Roger told me to tell you..."
American Dad!
"to clean the rat feces out of the air vents..."
American Dad!
"and then remove the rats that had made said feces."
American Dad!
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