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Clips from The Simpsons - Bart Gets an Elephant (S05E05)

"it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get."
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"- Gotcha. Well, gotta go. - [ Homer, Lisa ] Me too."
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"Uh, it's hard for us to leave when you're standing there, Mom."
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"- Push her down, Son. - No one's going anywhere."
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"Oh, dear God, no!"
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"Now, each one of you take a floor and get started."
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"- I call the basement. - [ All ] Fine."
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"D'oh?"
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"D'oh!"
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"- [ Squeaking ] - I'm tired. I'm hungry. Can't we just buy a new house?"
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"Here, work to the music."
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""You load 1 6 tons and what do you get ""
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"- [ Sputtering, Engine Starts ] - [ Grunting ]"
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"- All done. - You're not done."
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"Are you mad, woman?"
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"Sure, it's not 1 985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?"
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"And these TVGuides. So many memories."
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"''Gomer upsets Sergeant Carter.''"
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"Oh, I'll never forget that episode."
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"- Pyle! - Shazam!"
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"- Pyle! - Shazam!"
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"Stop remembering TV and get back to work."
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"What's the point of all this cleaning?"
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"Are we so vain?"
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"- [ Vacuum Whirring ] - "[Jazz ] - Hmm?"
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"Make me."
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"[ Sighs ] They're having a great time, and I'm stuck in here."
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"Ooh!"
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"Hmm. ''Use only in a well-ventilated area.''"
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"[ Grunting ]"
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"Whoo! Ahh!"
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"[ Homer Blabbering ]"
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"Huh? Whee!"
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"[ Marge ] Homer, what's going on down there?"
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"" [ Radio: Country ]"
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"[ Groaning ]"
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"Now let's make another one of our lucky phone calls."
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"[ Deejay "2 ] Okay,just answer the phone with the special phrase that pays..."
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"- and you'll have your choice of $ 1 0,000 in cash... - [ Cash Register Dings ]"
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"- [ Rings ] - KBBL is gonna give me something stupid."
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"[ Grampa ] Bart, I'm having palpitations!"
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"- [ All Groaning ] - There. Isn't that a lot better?"
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"[ All ] We won't."
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"- [ Scoffs ] - And now let's try another lucky phone call."
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"Help! Help us!"
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"- Ooh, fry, piggy. - [ Electrical Charge ]"
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"[ Wiggum ] No, no, no, don't!"
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"- [ Electrical Charge ] - [ Wiggum Yelling ]"
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"A little to the left."
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"Oh, I'm sorry the phrase is ''KBBL is gonna give me something stupid.''"
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"[ Deejay "2 ] Pretty weird. [ Laughs ]"
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"- [ Deejay "1 ] Let's try one more number. - [ Phone Rings ]"
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"- Hello. - KBBL is gonna give me something stupid!"
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"- Well, hot dog, we have a ''wiener.'' - [ Alarm Sounds ]"
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"You win your choice of $1 0,000 or-- What's our gag prize this week, Bill?"
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"Well, all that money sounds mighty tempting, Marty..."
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"but I think I'm gonna have to go with the elephant."
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"- [ Marty Whispering ] The kid wants the elephant. - We don't have a damn elephant."
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"Bart, with $1 0,000, we'd be millionaires!"
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"Or double-ply windows. They look just like regular windows..."
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"which is, that it's wrong to imprison an animal."
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"- Lisa, go to your room. - [ Man Laughing ]"
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"We appreciate you coming down, but, look, kid."
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"The thing is, uh-- [ Chuckles ]"
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"we don't have an elephant. [ Laughs ]"
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"Come on, kid,just take the money, huh? Otherwise, we might get fired."
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"[ Both Gasp ]"
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"- and keep 'em down for the rest of the school year. - [ Laughs ]"
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"- I'll do it, Bart. - Um... no."
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"into a-- some kind of a lobster-like creature?"
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"Uh, gentlemen, I am not leaving without my elephant."
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"Where's my elephant?"
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"Where's my elephant?"
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"- " [ Mellow ] - Where's my elephant?"
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"Hey, they're playing ''The Elephant Song.''"
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"So, isn't that what we're all asking in our own lives?"
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"Look, our ratings are down, and the station is being swamped..."
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"- And it's all your fault. - Yes, it is, ma'am."
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"It plays CDs automatically..."
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"and it has three distinct varieties of inane chatter."
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"Well, hot dog, we have a ''wiener.''"
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"Man, that thing's great."
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"How does he keep up with the news like that?"
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"- [ Doorbell Rings ] - [ Yawns ]"
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"[ Marge, Homer Gasp ]"
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"Whoo-ho-ho-ho!"
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"[ Elephant Trumpets ]"
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"- [ Snorting ] - Homer?"
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"It looks like it could gore."
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"[ Chuckles ] He tried to kill me."
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"I really think this is a bad idea."
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"Marge, I agree with you in theory."
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"In theory, Communism works."
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"In theory."
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"Look, he thinks he's people."
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"[ Trumpets ]"
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"I think I'm gonna call him Stampy."
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"[ Trumpets ]"
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"- What's he yelling about? - He's hungry."
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"Maybe if we tied it down so it couldn't move, it wouldn't get so hungry."
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"You can't do that, Dad. It's cruel!"
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"Keeping him chained up in the backyard is cruel."
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"Pulling on his tail is cruel."
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"Yelling in his ears is cruel."
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"Everything is cruel."
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"So excuse me if I'm cruel! [ Yells ]"
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"Now I've had my head in an elephant, a hippo and a giant sloth."
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"[ Swallowing ]"
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"Strip the bark now, Stampy."
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"- Hey, any more arboretums around here? - No!"
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"[ Gasps ] That bird.! He's killing the elephant.! Stop him.!"
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"Grooming him, eh?"
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"Oh, Homer, there's a bird on your head."
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"Mm, elephant fresh."
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"[ Several Dogs Barking ]"
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"[ Sniffing ]"
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"Uh-- Ahem."
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"- Hmm. - Taught Stampy any tricks yet, Bart?"
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"Nah. He doesn't wanna learn, and I don't wanna teach him."
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"We get along fine."
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