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Clips from Mr. Pickles - Foul Ball (S01E01)

"I know what a bulldozer is. You can't build here."
Mr. Pickles
"build condos, then put the ancient indian burial ground"
Mr. Pickles
"- But there are four of us. - Well, I guess you'll have to scalp some."
Mr. Pickles
"Let's see... put the jacuzzis right here and..."
Mr. Pickles
"Oh, boy! My first baseball game! Maybe I can catch a ball."
Mr. Pickles
"But whenever you borrow my truck, it comes"
Mr. Pickles
"- Mm! - Aren't you excited, Mr. Pickles?"
Mr. Pickles
"- I've seen him do it. - Mr. Pickles!"
Mr. Pickles
"Mr. Bojenkins is teaching me"
Mr. Pickles
"- Nope. - Sheriff, Mr. Pickles"
Mr. Pickles
"that dead possum like a diaper?"
Mr. Pickles
"Bye, mom!"
Mr. Pickles
"- Bye, dear. - Have fun at the game."
Mr. Pickles
"- You can eat my ass! - Well, it looks like"
Mr. Pickles
"Hey! Ho!"
Mr. Pickles
"Huh?"
Mr. Pickles
"- Wanna come? - I'm not really a baseball fan."
Mr. Pickles
"Well, I guess I could go for a little while."
Mr. Pickles
"The what?"
Mr. Pickles
"Sorry, everybody. We're not together."
Mr. Pickles
"- What are you, crazy?! - Boo!"
Mr. Pickles
"his 22-year career. Fouler, of course, the all-time"
Mr. Pickles
"- Out of my way! - Where's the ball, boy?"
Mr. Pickles
"Where's the ball, boy?"
Mr. Pickles
"- Foul! - I did it."
Mr. Pickles
"Uh, no, thanks. It is quiet over here."
Mr. Pickles
"Well, nobody wants to tailgate with a guy who's been"
Mr. Pickles
"- drinking all by himself. - Well... Maybe just a sip."
Mr. Pickles
"- Well, sure you can use grill. - Bottoms up."
Mr. Pickles
"Oh, my God. Kiss my wife! Kiss my wife!"
Mr. Pickles
"- Agh! - Tommy?! Tommy?!"
Mr. Pickles
"- That's a very special ball you have. - I'm gonna get it autographed."
Mr. Pickles
"Oh! What's that? don't touch that!"
Mr. Pickles
"But before you go, I wanted to get you to sign..."
Mr. Pickles
"And I know it's a special ball, so I thought you should have it."
Mr. Pickles
"Hey!"
Mr. Pickles
"- Huh? - Meet Hank."
Mr. Pickles
"Drink? Sandwich? Quesadilia?"
Mr. Pickles
"- What took you so long?! - Gimme that!"
Mr. Pickles
"It's not real. Oh-ho! It's not real!"
Mr. Pickles
"I-it is real! Agh!"
Mr. Pickles
"And Fouler back at the plate."
Mr. Pickles
"- This one's going foul, boys. - Looks like he's predicting"
Mr. Pickles
"Huh?! No, no, no, no!"
Mr. Pickles
"- Well, thanks for everything. - Baseball!"
Mr. Pickles
"You're disgusting. Let's go, baby."
Mr. Pickles
"But at least I didn't dent the truck."
Mr. Pickles
"Gimme a kiss! Gimme a kiss!"
Mr. Pickles
"- Mm. Nice costume. - Stupid white people and their games."
Mr. Pickles
"Hey-a, what's this over here?"
Mr. Pickles
"Hey! It's Jim "Fouler" Johnson's foul ball!"
Mr. Pickles
"Breaking news! Native Americans buy the"
Mr. Pickles
"stupid white people"! Ay, what up, dog?!"
Mr. Pickles
"Good boy, Mr. Pickles."
Mr. Pickles
"How."
Mr. Pickles
"White man come with iron buffalo."
Mr. Pickles
"two tickets to a baseball game, okay?"
Mr. Pickles
"Honey, let me drop you off and take the truck."
Mr. Pickles
"back with a new dent."
Mr. Pickles
"You won't have to pay for parking."
Mr. Pickles
"Oh, Mr. Pickles!"
Mr. Pickles
"He's been cutting people's heads off."
Mr. Pickles
"Hmm."
Mr. Pickles
"how to crip-walk."
Mr. Pickles
"- Sweet! - Remember, now... heel, toe,"
Mr. Pickles
"- heel, toe. - Like this?"
Mr. Pickles
"is cutting people's heads off."
Mr. Pickles
"Whoa! Look at all the indians!"
Mr. Pickles
"Today, the old town featherheads take on the southville worms!"
Mr. Pickles
"'Course, some folks want the featherheads name to change,"
Mr. Pickles
"calling it racist. But they've been unsuccessful,"
Mr. Pickles
"Anyhoo, today, we've got a special guest in the crowd..."
Mr. Pickles
"Traffic. Well, here we go."
Mr. Pickles
"I had my legs cut off so I could sneak booze into places."
Mr. Pickles
"O-one for whiskey, one for soda. Drink?"
Mr. Pickles
"- Kiss cam! - You're on the kiss cam, buddy!"
Mr. Pickles
"What, do you hate America?"
Mr. Pickles
"Boo! This is fun!"
Mr. Pickles
"Maybe I'll go grab us some snacks."
Mr. Pickles
"Huh?"
Mr. Pickles
"What?! That dog was gonna cut your head off."
Mr. Pickles
"Oh, it's fake."
Mr. Pickles
"Peanuts! Get your peanuts! And cocaine."
Mr. Pickles
"He's never hit a fair ball in"
Mr. Pickles
"turned to selling his body for alcohol."
Mr. Pickles
"You can do it, Tommy."
Mr. Pickles
"Hmm."
Mr. Pickles
"- High fly ball! - It's coming this way!"
Mr. Pickles
"That ugly kid has the ball."
Mr. Pickles
"- Cool, huh? - Get him!"
Mr. Pickles
"You want him?! You go through me!"
Mr. Pickles
"Kid, come with me!"
Mr. Pickles
"- You'll be safe! - Where did he go?!"
Mr. Pickles
"And that's how I ended up sleeping with a mime."
Mr. Pickles
"Just kidding... maybe. Drink?"
Mr. Pickles
"- Hey! Y'all partying? - Can we use your grill?"
Mr. Pickles
"Hi!"
Mr. Pickles
"- Sorry... no. - What?"
Mr. Pickles
"- She not good enough for you? - No, I just..."
Mr. Pickles
"He's in here? Tommy's not in..."
Mr. Pickles
"Hey! Mr. Pickles!"
Mr. Pickles
"Oh, no!"
Mr. Pickles
"As you can see, I collect"
Mr. Pickles
"very valuable collectibles. Perhaps I could take care of"
Mr. Pickles
"- that ball for you. - I got some collextibles, too, baby."
Mr. Pickles
"- Ooh! What's that? - Hey! Where'd that boy go?!"
Mr. Pickles
"Nice doing business with ya!"
Mr. Pickles
"Cocaine! Get your cocaine!"
Mr. Pickles
"Hello? Anyone here?"
Mr. Pickles
"You're Jim "Fouler" Johnson!"
Mr. Pickles
"Yup... biggest failure in baseball history. But I'm moving on."
Mr. Pickles
"- Whatever! - But I..."
Mr. Pickles
"- I said, "shut up!" - No, you didn't!"
Mr. Pickles
"- Where are you going? - Help! Tommy!"
Mr. Pickles
"Take it off! Take it off!"
Mr. Pickles
"- There you are! - It's a great party."
Mr. Pickles
"- But nobody likes me. - Hey!"
Mr. Pickles
"He cut off his legs so he can sneak booze wherever he wants."
Mr. Pickles
"Oh, wow, you got a lot of stuff in there."
Mr. Pickles
"Tommy, all I've ever hit was foul balls,"
Mr. Pickles
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