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Clips from Family Guy - E. Peterbus Unum (S02E02)

"- A pool? - Oh, oh, I'm sorry. It is a pool."
Family Guy
"- Oh, joy unbounded! - I'll feed it and take care of it!"
Family Guy
"An Audi! I'm gettin' a car!"
Family Guy
"Uh, Peter, there's a "T" in there. That says "audit"."
Family Guy
"No, Brian, it's a foreign car. The "T" is silent."
Family Guy
"- Sweet! I'm gettin' an Audi! - I have an "inny"."
Family Guy
"- Uh, Miss Stratford? - Come in, Mr Griffin. Don't be nervous."
Family Guy
"- You smell nice. - What? Oh, that... that must be you."
Family Guy
"- No, it couldn't be me. I just farted. - Oh."
Family Guy
"I just have a few questions about your return."
Family Guy
"You can write off medical stuff? If I'd known, I wouldn't have used a discount surgeon."
Family Guy
"OK, OK, just relax. Let's see, uh..."
Family Guy
"First, why don't you attach that green one to that purple one?"
Family Guy
"- Oh, God! - That kill me?"
Family Guy
"Well, Mr Griffin, you don't owe any additional money,"
Family Guy
"but unfortunately, you're not entitled to a refund."
Family Guy
"I'm sorry. I still haven't gotten over the loss of Party of Five."
Family Guy
"It'll take time to get over it. What were you sayin'?"
Family Guy
"- You're not entitled to a refund. - Aah!"
Family Guy
"- I'm sorry. Come again? - You're not entitled to a refund."
Family Guy
"- Aah! - Was that for Party of Five too?"
Family Guy
"No, that was for my refund. What the hell's Party of Five?"
Family Guy
"By God, I may not be able to give my family a vibrating sex doll,"
Family Guy
"If you find a human skeleton with a Lincoln Log jammed in the temple, I didn't do it."
Family Guy
"Ha, ha, ha! "Diarrhoea"!"
Family Guy
"- Hey, Lois! - What?"
Family Guy
"Diarrhoea!"
Family Guy
"Oh. Oh. You know, honey, you don't have to do this."
Family Guy
"- What the...? - Hi. You guys have any Cheese Doodles?"
Family Guy
"- Huh, look at this. Some kind of plastic root. - There's no such thing as a plastic root."
Family Guy
"You bastards come into our village and kill our fish, pollute our water."
Family Guy
"I'm gonna send you back to hell where you belong."
Family Guy
"Noooo!"
Family Guy
"Aw."
Family Guy
"- What? It's my yard. - Sorry, Your house is too close to the kerb."
Family Guy
"Oh, yeah? Well, your eyes are too close to your nose."
Family Guy
"That may be. But you know what?"
Family Guy
"I only have to wear one goggle when I go swimming in my pool!"
Family Guy
"Damn government, telling me I can't build a pool on my own land."
Family Guy
"After my grandfather helped create one of our most beloved cartoon characters."
Family Guy
"OK. We've narrowed it down to two possible names. All in favour of "Bugs Bunny"?"
Family Guy
"And all in favour of "Ephraim, the Retarded Rabbit"?"
Family Guy
"Oh, you can all go to hell!"
Family Guy
"- Come on! Come on! - Hello, is this the..."
Family Guy
"Step into my office."
Family Guy
"I'm here to serve the fine citizens of Quahog. It'll be my pleasure to give you a permit."
Family Guy
"- Well, it's about time. - Well, this is odd."
Family Guy
"- What? - I've never encountered anything like this,"
Family Guy
"but your property doesn't seem to be on the map."
Family Guy
"It's not part of Quahog."
Family Guy
"What the hell are you talkin' about? I've lived there for 12 years."
Family Guy
"Sorry, but according to this map, you're not even part of these United States."
Family Guy
"Which would make you... a communist!"
Family Guy
"- Ah! - Yeah!"
Family Guy
"- Ow! - Damn! Usually my malcontents are skinnier."
Family Guy
"Would you come back in a week, when my fat malcontent trap door will be completed?"
Family Guy
"I'm not comin' back in a week, or ever!"
Family Guy
"I've had it with you and this damn government."
Family Guy
"I love this job more than I love taffy."
Family Guy
"And I'm a man who enjoys his taffy."
Family Guy
"Mmm."
Family Guy
"Ooh. Mmm."
Family Guy
"Oh. Hm."
Family Guy
"No, no. We're not part of this city. We're not even part of this country."
Family Guy
"Thanks to a technicality, we have the right to secede from the US."
Family Guy
"From this day forth, this territory will be known as "Petoria"!"
Family Guy
"I was going to call it "Peterland", but that gay bar by the airport took it."
Family Guy
"A new foreign country which was founded this week, here in our own back yard."
Family Guy
"And in a Quahog News 5 Exclusive, we sent our own little foreigner,"
Family Guy
"Asian correspondent Tricia Takanawa, to Petoria,"
Family Guy
"where first lady Lois Griffin has graciously agreed to give a tour of her country. Tricia."
Family Guy
"Thank you, Diane. So, Mrs Griffin, what's it like being the woman behind the man?"
Family Guy
"Ah, you know, when Peter first said we were our own country, I was a bit sceptical."
Family Guy
"Tell us a little bit about your country."
Family Guy
"Well, we're a clean and industrious people, mostly white."
Family Guy
"My son Chris is in charge of our space programme."
Family Guy
"We hope to get to the moon very shortly."
Family Guy
"Almost!"
Family Guy
"Oh, ha, ha, ha."
Family Guy
"So where is the president now?"
Family Guy
"Oh, he's out on a goodwill mission to America."
Family Guy
"Here you go, Mr President. Mr President!"
Family Guy
"Oh, Peter. That tickles me in a way that if Loretta tickled me in that way,"
Family Guy
"I'd say "Oh, yeah! That's nice. That's the spot.""
Family Guy
"What are you talkin' about? I'm a born leader. Like my great-great-uncle Ulysses S Griffin."
Family Guy
"- Yeah! Whoo! - How's that, Robert E Lee?"
Family Guy
"All right. No more slaves. But we still don't have to read books."
Family Guy
"That's Petorian for "More beer, you slappy-wag.""
Family Guy
"I'm a foreign diplomat. I don't pay for drinks."
Family Guy
"You think G Gordon Liddy paid for his drinks"
Family Guy
"while he was stranglin' people with piano wire for the good of our nation?"
Family Guy
"Peter, you can't drink that outside. You're gonna end up in jail."
Family Guy
"Go back and pay the bill, Peter. You, uh, don't wanna break the law."
Family Guy
"I can do whatever I want. Watch this."
Family Guy
"Oh, now you're just bein' crazy."
Family Guy
"Ju-ju-ju-ju-just like the bad guy from Lethal Weapon 2"
Family Guy
"I've got diplomatic immunity, so Hammer, you can't sue"
Family Guy
"I can write graffiti, even jaywalk in the street"
Family Guy
"I can riot, loot, not give a hoot, and touch your sister's teat"
Family Guy
"Can't touch me"
Family Guy
"- Can't touch me - What in God's name is he doing?"
Family Guy
"- Can't touch me - I believe that's the "Worm"."
Family Guy
"Light a fire and pee it out"
Family Guy
"Just for a minute let's all do the bump"
Family Guy
"Can't touch me"
Family Guy
"Can't touch me"
Family Guy
"I'm Presidential Peter, interns think I'm hot"
Family Guy
"I've been around the world, from Hartford to Bombay"
Family Guy
"- Excuse me. Some of us are here to learn. - No one's talkin' to you, Albania."
Family Guy
"- Is there a problem back there? - You bet your funny accent there is!"
Family Guy
"Oh, of course. How could we not have recognised the great nation of Petoria?"
Family Guy
"And hey! Would you also like a special satellite"
Family Guy
"They have those?"
Family Guy
"Hi. How you doin'? You mind if I, uh..."
Family Guy
"- They don't respect you. - What do you mean?"
Family Guy
"I used to be the laughing stock around here until my country invaded Kuwait."
Family Guy
"Now I have a seat in the third row."
Family Guy
"The only way to get any respect around here"
Family Guy
"is to find something you want and just take it."
Family Guy
"- I don't shower. - Oh, that's what that is."
Family Guy
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