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Clips from 30 Rock - ¡Qué Sorpresa! (S05E05)

"which is the premise of my one-act play,"
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"Avery just needs to keep her condition under wraps"
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"from MSNBC."
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"Oh, I know her! Hey, what ethnicity is she?"
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"No one knows."
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"Carmen's very sneaky."
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"Hey, do you want to go to that new popcorn place for lunch?"
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"I can't wait to shake his hand."
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"You can tell a lot about someone by their handshake."
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"You are confident."
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"And you..."
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"...ate dinner in front of a mirror last night."
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"Carol's away a lot."
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"Hank Hooper. Nice to meet you."
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"Nope! It doesn't count as a hug unless it goes on for 10 seconds!"
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"Yeah."
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"I'm no sir, Jack."
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"Call me Hank or "Hey, idiot," like my wife does."
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"'Sup, Jack?"
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"What are you doing here?"
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"KableTown's a family company, and where I come from,"
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"This is no longer the Executive Dining Room."
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"Welcome, everyone!"
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"This is where we used to hold retirement parties."
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"The balcony below is probably still littered with stripper bones."
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"Yeah."
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"Listen, can I tell you how happy I am"
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"with the work you've done for us so far?"
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"It's been outstanding."
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"Room for a single?"
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"Let me ask you a question."
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"Do you know who came up with the idea for the DVR?"
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"It was the guy who drives me home every night."
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"The original name for the DVR was "The Thing Carlos Thought Of.""
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"Since then, I make sure that, once a month,"
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"anyone who works here can pitch any idea they have"
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"to upper management."
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"- I see. - So, I want you..."
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"I'll be the guy wearing the Bugs Bunny tie!"
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"What is this green stuff? Wipe it off! Wipe it off!"
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"These pregnancy photos are so tacky."
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"They're like those knockoff bags you get in Chinatown."
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"Carmen. What are you doing here?"
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"Oh, I just love babies."
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"I'm pregnant, and Avery is helping me"
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"decide what kind of baby megaphone to buy."
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"Really? You're the pregnant one?"
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"Some dude jacked me,"
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"and now his sperm is growing in my stomach."
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"That's not how babies are made."
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"No, we're gonna go. You're tired."
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"Oh, you'll find this interesting."
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"I'm working on a story right now about single mothers in their 40s."
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"Fine. I'll just go to the popcorn place alone,"
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"even though all their advertising suggests"
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"it is a place for groups of friends to have a good time."
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"How are you sweatshirting this sweatshirt?"
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"like you took away my show"
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"and my grandmother's jewelry chest!"
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"And if there's only one sweatshirt, the star should have it."
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"Look how gray it is!"
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"Well... okay. But just one second."
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"Miss Lemon,"
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"Carmen Chao called about an interview."
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"among educated women?"
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"No, Kenneth, it's nothing. I'm gonna call Jack and make it go away."
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"Check this out!"
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"I was up in the Everybody Dining Room"
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"Okay, gossip alert!"
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"our friend Liz Lemon is pregnant!"
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"Dude, is that true? Are you pregnant?"
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"She got jacked big-time."
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"Lemon, a word?"
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"And Carmen Chao is relentless,"
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"like a bloodhound... perhaps literally."
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"Do I have to do this mom news story?"
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"Well, it is called."
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"I am telling everyone here"
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"because I have had my period for the last 61 days."
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"What? Why?"
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"The Everyone Dining Room,"
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"memos with emoticons in them!"
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"I don't know if I have a future here. I'm Jack Donaghy."
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"I'm asking you as a friend."
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"How come when I try to get you to go to a murder-mystery party with me,"
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"it's all, "We're business colleagues, Lemon"?"
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"I don't know why I ever choose you as a friend."
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"Let's just be clear about this. I chose you."
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"Absolutely not."
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"that switches from pornography to basketball immediately."
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"What you have isn't fast enough."
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"My kids are starting to ask questions that I can't answer!"
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"Did you check the light bulb?"
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"is really not fit for children or Christians or the elderly."
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"So, what if there was a black bar on the lower half of your TV screen"
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"that kept you from seeing bad things, like nudity or soccer?"
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"Congratulations."
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"Worst so far."
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"Liz, I never get anything!"
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"Don't listen to her! She's not me!"
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"Hey, guys, lay off Liz, okay?"
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"You know, she's pregnant."
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"Really?"
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"Yeah. Super pregnant."
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"Now's not the time to discuss this,"
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"but I will need to eat your umbilical cord."
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"I'm sorry we were stressing you out."
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"We shouldn't do that. It'll turn the child into a Dracula."
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"Problem solved."
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"Now no one gets it."
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"And hold hands like best friends on the way out!"
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"Wow. That is like magic."
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"I'm gonna run downstairs. Do you want anything?"
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"Remember, you're eating for two."
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"Well, I guess two egg sandwiches... times two is four."
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"Sir... I mean, Hank."
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"I appreciate that you have your way of doing things, but so do I."
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"I am a Six Sigma Black Belt Ultra"
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"with the groin branding to prove it."
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"I'd like to start this meeting by sharing one of my own ideas."
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