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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer the Whopper (S21E21)

"Excuse me. I just heard that before Spider-Man was a movie,"
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"suffering steve ditko!"
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"I'll take eight."
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"Huh? What's this?"
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"Good afternoon, gentlemen."
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"Put my comic down."
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"Now they're back in spades."
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"Oh, uh, just 335, including the controversial number 289,"
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"Comic book guy's been writing these for years."
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"All right, what's our next big summer franchise? Come on."
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"Yes. Let your imaginations run free."
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"Oh, big surprise that you don't know what this is."
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"That a red scout would date a blue general?"
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"I'm well aware of who had what cut."
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"Thank you."
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"They'll laugh us out of hollywood. Thank you."
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"The closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life."
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""wherever there's a crime to be solved,"
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"And there's more, but my fax machine ran out of ink, so I can't read it."
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"Thank you, that was great."
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"Or brooklyn, or richard nixon voice?"
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"You... Are..."
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"Acceptable."
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"Oh, there's no nudity in this movie. What movie?"
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"the national math bee--"
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"No. I lost. Eh, they can go to hell. Bart?"
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"Dr. Hibbert found out my thyroid isn't pumping out enough--"
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"We need you to slim down, muscle up and become the everyman"
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"I don't know if I can. I'm a yo-yo dieter:"
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"Hello, prius-- give daddy a kiss."
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"Homer, do you know why you eat?"
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"But then I see the driver is a chicken? Let's just skip ahead a month."
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"Total wuss."
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"Ooh, homie, take your shirt off again."
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"Aah! What was that? Your other hand."
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"Cut! Terrific. Bring in the next helicopter."
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"Oscar, take a shower, or a tomato bath or something. Please!"
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"Is that all this temporary job was to you,"
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"Avery, I swear, you're the only man in gothamopolis"
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"Who's never seen everyman."
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"Ah, here we are. A delightful buttermilk"
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"Oh, '61-- everyone was twisting again like they did the previous summer."
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"He won't come out? He can't come out."
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"Ooh, I'm afraid that's not gonna happen."
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"Hollywood ponytail yank!"
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"Half the shots he's fat, half the shots he's thin--It's taking me out of the moment."
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"Well, I-I just wanted to get back into the business after I had my kids."
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"Home boy. What happened, dude?"
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"then come back and train you. It's how I make my money."
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"Everyman, the motion picture, Is the combination"
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"And send! And sip."
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"I'm so cold."
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"-"
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"Milhouse, watch me make a loser lose it."
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"Oh, customers, how I hate them."
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"It was a comic book--"
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"is that possible?"
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"What the...?"
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"How can you not know that spider-man"
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"first appeared in 1962's classic"
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"Ooh, 12 cents!"
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"What the...? You idiot! Mint condition copies are, like, $40,000 each!"
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"Must lie down On pile of unsold hulk hands."
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"Hulk smash."
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"from marvel, dc, Image or wildstorm."
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""it was a typical day For delivery man avery mann until...""
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"Help! Bank robbers! Shut your yap."
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"Time for this average man to disappear."
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"Look at that fat guy-- beatin' it like an egg."
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"Yeah, he's scramblinin'' like an egg."
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"Egg. Egg."
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"Laugh while you can."
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"Everyman absorbs the powers of every superhero"
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"Whose comic book he touches."
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"put me in sing-sing! It's safer!"
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"Perfect."
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"Everyman will stop every crime every time."
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"And I... Am... Everyman."
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"You made this?! Shut up."
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"No one is interested in the critical judgment of a worthless child..."
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"Actually, I like it."
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"You what now? Everyman is awesome."
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"Reading it, I escaped from my troubles."
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"Have you shown this to anyone?"
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"No. If copies got out, It would be ridiculed by the online community--"
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"Sonofsonofspock, thedorkknight,"
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"and ikilledkenny6475."
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"Don't be afraid of them. They're just lame-o's like yourself."
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"Two of them are me."
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"Very well. I... Shall... Self-publish."
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"How many issues have you written?"
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"Featuring the death of marmaduke."
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"Who knew a troubled person could be creative?"
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"Yeah, still waters run deep."
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"I'm so rich."
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"You want an original idea?"
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"Something that's never been a movie before,"
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"But feels like it has."
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"Extension cords. Mixed nuts."
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"Car keys."
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"Eh, we've already made everything That could possibly be a movie into a great movie."
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"There's nothin' left."
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"Dad, can we go?"
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"I've watched all the dvds in the bentley."
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"Jonah, what's that in your hand?"
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"It's only Everyman, the coolest comic book ever."
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"What are his powers? All of them."
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"That's it. Our next big summer movie will be Everyman."
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"Uh, marv? Ginormous pictures bought the rights"
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"To Everyman three weeks ago."
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"Damn it!"
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"And think Everyman would make a fantastic movie."
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"Oh really? The way you thought "stratego" would make a good movie?"
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"You'd expect us to believe"
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"brett ratner had final cut."
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"Let me get to the point:"
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"It is not money I am after, or women-- I know that is impossible."
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"What I want is to pick the actor who will play everyman."
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"No can do."
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"But we never give... Thank you."
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